Geoduck is for lovers

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We’re not in the business of mocking press releases (might as well shoot fish in a barrel), but every now and then something comes across our desk that’s so goofy, we can’t help ourselves.

‘When gift packages of panties get old, or adult toys are no longer a funny gift to find under the tree, show your lover you really care with high-end sensual food gifts,’ MarxFoods.com suggests. You could go for aphrodisiacs ranging from the obvious (oysters, chocolate) to the odd (truffle honey, lobster-filled heart-shaped ravioli). But ‘for the adventurous couple’ (in and out of the dining room) there’s the geoduck.

Pronounced ‘gooey duck,’ geoducks are burrowing, long-neck saltwater clams that are considered a delicacy in several Asian countries. They’re also supposed to ‘enhance male performance,’ though that seems more like wish fulfillment based on their physiognomy.

Still, if you want to test the theory, MarxFoods will ship you a live Puget Sound geoduck weighing close to 2 pounds for $68, plus $29 for shipping and handling. Or you could always try the nearest 99 Ranch Market.

-- Elina Shatkin