Seinfeld and Gates' Microsoft misfire

The new Microsoft commercial, featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates out discount shoe shopping, was unveiled Thursday night on TV. Today it's near the top of YouTube's most viewed list, and many of those viewers are leaving a trail of rancorous confusion all over the Web. People are asking, nay, demanding to know what the minute-and-a-half-long spot is trying to convey.

Seemingly anticipating the lack of enthusiasm, Microsoft offered an explanation for the commercial on its own site:

After seeing the new ad from Microsoft, which debuted today, some may wonder what Jerry Seinfeld helping Bill Gates pick out a new pair of shoes has to do with software. The answer, in the classic Seinfeld sense of the word, is nothing. Nevertheless, the spot is the first and most visible sign of an ambitious effort by Microsoft's Windows business to reconnect with consumers around the globe.

The post went on to explain that the campaign will show how Windows "has become an indispensable part of the lives of a billion people around the globe," not just on their PCs but also now online and via mobile devices.

But the commercial is not actually tapping into the "nothing" that "Seinfeld" was famously about. "Seinfeld" was about "nothing" because it showed everything that four friends did together. It was the "nothing" of, "What'd you do today?" "Nothing." But the Microsoft spot's little shoe-store vignette relies on unfunny far-fetched details: Seinfeld asking Gates if he ever takes a shower with his clothes on, for example. Thunk. (BoingBoing was in the minority in liking the spot's "absurdist" quality.)

The whole thing is chilly. It begins with Seinfeld walking past a discount shoe store called Shoe Circus. He is eating a churro. He reads out loud the store's name and a sign promising quality shoes at discount prices, then sees Bill Gates through the window trying on shoes and says, "Bill Gates!" and walks in to join the fun.

Let's start with the premise of these two famous rich people out discount shoe shopping. Ha, ha! They don't really have to shop at Payless like the half a million people who lost their jobs this year.

Gates and Seinfeld may both be schlumpy dressers, but their regular-guy qualities stop there. Neither is the Warren Buffett kind of rich, the frugal sort who knows the value of a dollar and doesn't put himself above the working man (or so we believe about Buffett). Instead the ad seems to be somehow making light of bargain-shopping, as if it's just a lark for these guys, or some kind of joke that we're not quite in on. 

A bit into the ad, Seinfeld suddenly takes over from the salesman and is helping fit Gates' shoes, offering him the "Conquistador -- they run very tight." As Seinfeld feels around for Gates' toe he says, "Is that your toe?" Gates says no. Seinfeld asks what it is and Gates says, "leather." The camera lingers on Gates face as he says "leather," and he appears to be attempting to give a meaningful look. Are we supposed to be interpreting something naughty in that exchange? It's not unreasonable to go there, especially after we've witnessed the fondling of Gates' feet by a kneeling Seinfeld.

The most disturbing part of the commercial begins with a cut to a Latino family standing outside the store and looking in the window as they too eat churros. "Es el Conquistador?" the woman says. The man replies in Spanish, "They run tight." There are English subtitles. These dark-skinned people stand close together and have befuddled expressions on their faces. They seem to take Shoe Circus very seriously.

Perhaps they're supposed to represent the consumers "around the globe" that Microsoft is trying to "reconnect" with, but the depiction seems condescending and borderline offensive. These are the kind of people who actually shop at a Shoe Circus, and not by choice. With their grim faces they look as if they have actual problems to deal with besides the tightness of the Conquistador, so the spectacle of them watching the two eternally boyish, care-free retired zillionaires try on shoes leaves a bad aftertaste. Jerry and Bill may well eat churros and buy cheap shoes just like the onlookers do, but Seinfeld goes home at night to his Hamptons estate and his dozen cars while Gates retires to his stadium-sized techno-mansion.

The Latinos are pressed up against the glass, fascinated by the action inside, but they do not appear to know who Gates and Seinfeld are. Are they too poor to own a TV? Do they represent the yearning Latino hordes trying to get in on the American consumerist dream?

Then back inside the clerk asks Gates if he has a Shoe Circus Clown Club card, which Gates produces, and it has the mug shot on it from Gates' juvenile arrest. This is the one comic touch that seems on the money.

As Seinfeld and Gates cross the parking lot after the purchase, the talk (finally) turns to Microsoft. Seinfeld asks Gates if they'll ever make computers "moist and chewy like cake, so we can just eat while we're working." If it's yes, Seinfeld says, "give me a signal. Adjust your shorts."

Then Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, chairman of the Gates Foundation, one of the great technology minds of our time, shakes his booty. It's seems meant to be humanizing -- the playful side of Bill Gates -- but comes off as one more awkward choice. This commercial has a double problem. It pulls none of the emotional strings that might have helped Microsoft "reconnect" with its audience (not that I remember ever being connected to them). And its main idea is a dadaist void. A decade after "Seinfeld," "nothing" has gotten old.

--Maria Russo

Comments

[Ram]

When you produce a commercial and then have to explain it, you're in trouble. I too found this "commercial" strange. The only positive thing to say is that in marketing you either want to make a really good commercial or a really bad commercial. Nothing in between because it's the extremes that the consumer will remember.

[Brian Foley]

Windows "indispensable?" Dispense with it and get a Mac, get a life, and get a commercial.

[Now on Shprockets We Dance]

My life was simpler and easier when I ran around barefoot and didn't need shoes.

My life was simpler and easier when PCs actually did my bidding.

[Tony@TacticalTV]

Adman and author Harry Beckwith claims that good advertising IS IT'S OWN PR. In this case I think he's right. There's more about this at http://adnotes-tony.blogspot.com/

[Ben Sona]

From the moment it was announced Seinfeld would be in the Microsoft campaign it seemed like a tired and strange choice. Very creepy ad for sure.

Battling Apple is going to be tough, not because all their products are better, it's that Apple is a lifestyle not a technology. Microsoft is our workhorse, the technology that does our dirty work and gives us more time to enjoy the finer things in life.

Hey, that's pretty good. Better than Seinfeld touching Bill Gates feet.

If Microsoft wants to use this be my guest, I just want half! :-)

[Blah]

Yes! You know you've made the PERFECT commercial when you actually have to post an explanation on your company website.

[touva]

I'm an old guy who doesn't know crap about my computer except how to turn it on and access Drudge. I saw the ad and didn't have a clue what was going on. Talk about "nothing". You say these guys are rich?

[David Weiser]

The synopsis/commentary above is the finest I've seen on the 'Net, leaving out only a few of the salient details: start of a $300 million dollar campaign, Seinfeld got $10 million of that, the agency also responsible for the disturbing Burger King doll ads, it ignored the Mac campaign which I personally think blows this garbage out of the water.

The only redeeming thing for Microsoft is that the ad has people talking about their company, and waiting for the next installment of what I'm sure will be many.

I'm a PC user because of business world requirements and to some extent the feature set for the money in PC laptops. I don't own a Mac. And I'm not usually a Microsoft basher.

But like others this ad and Microsoft's Mojave Experiment make me just want to rush out and buy a Mac the next time I need a computer. Those Mojave people weren't trying to configure a printer or scanner, deal with problematic drivers, configure WiFi, etc. What a joke Microsoft is attempting to perpetuate. "Reconnect"? They should spend $300 million helping people "connect" their peripherals to Vista.

I recently saw Seinfeld in person and he was fantastic in his stand up. What gives here?

I'm white, but have no choice but to find this offensive to Hispanics, and I'm not uptight or politically correct at all. Are they supposed to "connect" to Bill Gates and Seinfeld because everyone enjoys a Churros? Because the patriarch of the family knows that particular shoe style runs small and so he has a natural comraderie with Mr. Gates? This ad was just ridiculous. An Hispanic family watching through glass, two of the wealthiest guys in this country (Seinfeld has syndication money from his show remember, in the hundreds of millions), in a discount shoe store. Idiotic.......

You guys are going to have to work hard to "reconnect" what was once my sense of respect for you both, forget about Vista or Microsoft products?

[Ben Sona]

From the moment it was announced Seinfeld would be in the Microsoft campaign it seemed like a tired and strange choice. Very creepy ad for sure.

Battling Apple is going to be tough, not because all their products are better, it's that Apple is a lifestyle not a technology. Microsoft is our workhorse, the technology that does our dirty work and gives us more time to enjoy the finer things in life.

Hey, that's pretty good. Better than Seinfeld touching Bill Gates feet.

If Microsoft wants to use this be my guest, I just want half! :-)

[Billy Joe Bob]

This type of advertising is more white that wonder bread! This is so out of touch with the most lucrative and growing tech markets, namely minorites and women. I know Microsoft has money to burn but why throw it away? If a marketer is really trying to change their brand's perception they need to authenticly engage (in the creation of the messaging) the very people they need to reach...women and minorities...not two over-the great-white-hill billionaire good ole boys!

[Eric Stark]

Bill Gates? Shoe Commercial? Reboot.

[elgarak]

Back when Microsoft announced this campaign (targets: Improve Vista's image and strike back at Apple. Did they achieve this? Don't think so.), Apple released a few new "Mac-vs-PC' ads.

One of them is pretty telling:

Mac: "Oh, you're fixing the problems?"
PC: "No, make it easier to live with, with this new line of calming teas."

Sounds familiar, no? OK, the 'calming teas' are an unfunny Seinfeld-esque odd-couple sitcom, but still...

Oh, the irony. Apple understands Microsoft better than Microsoft.

[Noah]

This ad is perfect for M$ - inordinately expensive AND dysfunctional. Just like Windoze software ...

[adguy]

Crispin+Porter, the ad agency that did this, has embarassed the industry.

[Joe Calderon]

Maria Russo, your statement about the Latino family, "These are the kind of people who actually shop at a Shoe Circus, and not by choice," is offensive. You are awfully presumptuous here. Maybe they're lotto winners and they don't work as day laborers.

I can't believe you wrote that about them. I’d feel like such a jerk if I was you.

Joe Calderon
calderon_joe@yahoo.com

[Seriously?]

You do realize you just wrote a tirade about a commercial? But clever you! You took down the software giant by slaying its commercial! People shall now cease to buy the product because the commerical was not a demo and you showed them that!

[agn]

Editor need to apologize for the comment "These dark-skinned people stand close together and have befuddled expressions on their faces. " Its promoting racism.

[Dan]

woah...I think you need to watch this commercial again.Your interpretation of the (as you put it) "dark skinned people" is the only thing disturbing about all this. Do you always associate poverty and thrift stores with latino? They're just people in the mall....And...the look of problems in their faces? Are you kidding me, what are you talking about. The wife looks pretty sylish and attractive I think maybe you've been staring at your computer screen too long and need to go out and meet some people outside of your white gated community.

[Rusty Bloods]

I want to see Balmer and Seinfeld in the next installment. Here is the plot - Jerry rubs Balmer's bald head and repeats - "I wish I had a watermelon, I wish I had a watermelon."

ha ha ha ha

[Alan Hopkins]

The last 10 seconds was left off. That's the part where Bill Gates is actually the hip, in-touch guy and the rest of you LOSERS on this thread are the buck-toothed nerds.

It's a commercial folks!!!! It's not "art" and it's not a masterpiece. It doesn't solve world hunger and it's not p for an oscar.

It's a COMMERCIAL. Ever seen one before?

"Get a life" isn't even strong enough advice for you folks. Sheesh.

It's just a commercial guys. No worries, they're not canceling the Star Trek convention.

[spun1]

i agree with the nerdist. the writer of this article needs to lighten up. sounds to me like you went in wanting to hate this commercial. and then you wrote this scathing review on your mac.

[blah]

The ad is worse than Vista. It's astoundingly awful.

[JJJ]

Disturbingly awkward, painful to watch, terribly acted. If I was Seinfeld, I'd be cringeing - perhaps, noticeably wealthier but cringeing all the same. What happened? Did he lose his sense of humour because someone stroked his wallet?

Oh what I would've given to be present when the ad agency presented this guff to those out-of-touch bigwigs at Microsoft. Now that would've been funny ...

[Sher]

What a waste of money...not to mention, very boring.

[baffling]

always makes me chuckle to myself to see all the Microsoft haters come out yet they are writing their comments on a Microsoft based operating system. reading way too much into a commercial? yes indeed you are, and it makes me sad to see journalism has nothing better to do then produce such "unbiased" oops i mean biased opinion of a company or what so called news would be.