Seinfeld and Gates' Microsoft misfire

The new Microsoft commercial, featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates out discount shoe shopping, was unveiled Thursday night on TV. Today it's near the top of YouTube's most viewed list, and many of those viewers are leaving a trail of rancorous confusion all over the Web. People are asking, nay, demanding to know what the minute-and-a-half-long spot is trying to convey.

Seemingly anticipating the lack of enthusiasm, Microsoft offered an explanation for the commercial on its own site:

After seeing the new ad from Microsoft, which debuted today, some may wonder what Jerry Seinfeld helping Bill Gates pick out a new pair of shoes has to do with software. The answer, in the classic Seinfeld sense of the word, is nothing. Nevertheless, the spot is the first and most visible sign of an ambitious effort by Microsoft's Windows business to reconnect with consumers around the globe.

The post went on to explain that the campaign will show how Windows "has become an indispensable part of the lives of a billion people around the globe," not just on their PCs but also now online and via mobile devices.

But the commercial is not actually tapping into the "nothing" that "Seinfeld" was famously about. "Seinfeld" was about "nothing" because it showed everything that four friends did together. It was the "nothing" of, "What'd you do today?" "Nothing." But the Microsoft spot's little shoe-store vignette relies on unfunny far-fetched details: Seinfeld asking Gates if he ever takes a shower with his clothes on, for example. Thunk. (BoingBoing was in the minority in liking the spot's "absurdist" quality.)

The whole thing is chilly. It begins with Seinfeld walking past a discount shoe store called Shoe Circus. He is eating a churro. He reads out loud the store's name and a sign promising quality shoes at discount prices, then sees Bill Gates through the window trying on shoes and says, "Bill Gates!" and walks in to join the fun.

Let's start with the premise of these two famous rich people out discount shoe shopping. Ha, ha! They don't really have to shop at Payless like the half a million people who lost their jobs this year.

Gates and Seinfeld may both be schlumpy dressers, but their regular-guy qualities stop there. Neither is the Warren Buffett kind of rich, the frugal sort who knows the value of a dollar and doesn't put himself above the working man (or so we believe about Buffett). Instead the ad seems to be somehow making light of bargain-shopping, as if it's just a lark for these guys, or some kind of joke that we're not quite in on. 

A bit into the ad, Seinfeld suddenly takes over from the salesman and is helping fit Gates' shoes, offering him the "Conquistador -- they run very tight." As Seinfeld feels around for Gates' toe he says, "Is that your toe?" Gates says no. Seinfeld asks what it is and Gates says, "leather." The camera lingers on Gates face as he says "leather," and he appears to be attempting to give a meaningful look. Are we supposed to be interpreting something naughty in that exchange? It's not unreasonable to go there, especially after we've witnessed the fondling of Gates' feet by a kneeling Seinfeld.

The most disturbing part of the commercial begins with a cut to a Latino family standing outside the store and looking in the window as they too eat churros. "Es el Conquistador?" the woman says. The man replies in Spanish, "They run tight." There are English subtitles. These dark-skinned people stand close together and have befuddled expressions on their faces. They seem to take Shoe Circus very seriously.

Perhaps they're supposed to represent the consumers "around the globe" that Microsoft is trying to "reconnect" with, but the depiction seems condescending and borderline offensive. These are the kind of people who actually shop at a Shoe Circus, and not by choice. With their grim faces they look as if they have actual problems to deal with besides the tightness of the Conquistador, so the spectacle of them watching the two eternally boyish, care-free retired zillionaires try on shoes leaves a bad aftertaste. Jerry and Bill may well eat churros and buy cheap shoes just like the onlookers do, but Seinfeld goes home at night to his Hamptons estate and his dozen cars while Gates retires to his stadium-sized techno-mansion.

The Latinos are pressed up against the glass, fascinated by the action inside, but they do not appear to know who Gates and Seinfeld are. Are they too poor to own a TV? Do they represent the yearning Latino hordes trying to get in on the American consumerist dream?

Then back inside the clerk asks Gates if he has a Shoe Circus Clown Club card, which Gates produces, and it has the mug shot on it from Gates' juvenile arrest. This is the one comic touch that seems on the money.

As Seinfeld and Gates cross the parking lot after the purchase, the talk (finally) turns to Microsoft. Seinfeld asks Gates if they'll ever make computers "moist and chewy like cake, so we can just eat while we're working." If it's yes, Seinfeld says, "give me a signal. Adjust your shorts."

Then Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, chairman of the Gates Foundation, one of the great technology minds of our time, shakes his booty. It's seems meant to be humanizing -- the playful side of Bill Gates -- but comes off as one more awkward choice. This commercial has a double problem. It pulls none of the emotional strings that might have helped Microsoft "reconnect" with its audience (not that I remember ever being connected to them). And its main idea is a dadaist void. A decade after "Seinfeld," "nothing" has gotten old.

--Maria Russo

Comments

[Mike]

The ad is telling us that Microsoft software is like cheap shoes. Pleather may look like real leather but you know it's not, and it doesn't last like the real thing.

[A Teacher]

This article nails all the problems of that horrible ad. Is this really the best Microsoft can do to compete with the hip Apple campaign? And isn't Seinfeld a little outdated in appeal for a younger technology-bent generation? All this ad made me want to do was buy an IMac.

[Bill]

It sucks. And so does the microsoft metality. The conquistadors
dominated the indians, but microsoft will not dominate the average
computer user. Seinfeld sold out, and this is less than a D commercial,
as his Bee movie was less than average as well. Jerry-stick to stand up
and forget about helping out someone who stole the apple pull down menus
and made billions from it.

[Heath]

About the Payless shoe store: It's a joke you're not in on.

Bill, after having become a millionaire, used to notably hold up the line at Safeway -- as he pulled out all the coupons he would apply to his purchase. The man grew up frugal and was looking at his corporation's income/expense balance sheets from the age of about 22 wasn't it?

[andy]

This one is better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSQMg3gc1r4

[tommy d]

My wife and I saw the commercial last night. It was so bad it made us want to dash out and buy an Apple.

[jack dieta]

That is the dumbest commercial I have ever seen. Is Bill Gates and Microsoft gone nuts. First they should fire their entire advertising dept. Second don't start another one until their is a need for it.

Jack

[Rhywun]

Your assumption that "[t]hese are the kind of people who actually shop at a Shoe Circus" is more offensive than anything in the commercial.

[The Nerdist]

How do the words "lighten up" affect you? Besides, if you broke down every joke in the world, there'd be someone who'd be offended at the core of almost all of them. And the Latino family thing is a dry non sequitur, not an attempted representation of poverty or the global community. You might be reading too far into it. Maybe stay away from comedy in general, You seem wound up. Are you okay?

[NickCorcodilos]

Gimme a break. The commercial is funny because Gates isn't, yet Jerry makes him funny. It's actually pretty perfect and it hits an honest note. Bill doesn't come off as anyone but himself. Then there's the two clowns in the Apple commercials. Let's see Jobs do that. A short, goofy commercial, and such a serious article. We don't need a libretto. You gave us the YouTube version.

[BV]

I was equally befuddled and disturbed out by this commercial. It seemed like it was trying to be funny, but did not make me laugh. Conversely the entire exchange between Seinfeld and Gates was uncomfortably awkward. It did not endear me to the Microsoft brand nor any of their products. I'm left to question who in their right mind could watch this and then sign a check to pump it out nationally during prime time. Is Balmer that odd in the head?

[deniro]

You...You're good you.

[david]

Gates might as well have done the ad with Kramer while making some racist comments. Forgetaboutit. These guys have as much chance to "connect" with the American people as does Dick Cheney. Forgetaboutit.

[Shelley]

What's it all about?

You're writing about the commercial, aren't you?

[user]

Instead of paying enough money to good programmers to fix Vista fiasco before hand ..Gates & CO decide to go back in time and pretend that Seinfeld is the new show in town and will win all the awards for promoting Microsofism...into the world....where Apple laughs and says...Do ya think ur better than me..? :)

Long Live Firefox....and its team....!!!

[Rocky]

This is typical Microslop-ill conceived, bloated, mindless junk. The spot is poorly written, badly acted, not well thought-out and tacky. What else would anyone expect from this company? Nothing to see here-move along...

[RR]

Whiners. So what? Nothing.
Goofy. Amusing...yes.
About 1000 times better than 99% of the damn, yes, damn commercials on any media/venue today.... except maybe for a few superbowl ads, and the extremely rare isolated entertaining commercial. We're inundated with Drek marketing everywhere, even on supermarket floors... and y'all whine about this first MS commercial.
It did its job... it made you say 'Huh?'... and talk about Microsoft. Get a clue.

[j moreants]

Hordes, Maria.

[fobarz]

In keeping with Microsoft tradition, they failed to do any testing on the commercial before it was released, making the commercial about as easy to understand as their operating system.

[jon]

And here I thought my wife and I were the only sane ones on the planet thinking htis spot was a total waste of time. Microsoft actually has some good things going for it (really!) but instead of pointing that out they just come up with crap.

I mean, nothing asks to be parodied more than the Mac commercials.

PC: I hear you may be having a few bugs with your new leopard operating system.
Mac: 'frozen and says nothing'
PC: Maybe you should go back to Tiger
MAc: "did you say something? I had to reboot and wasn't listening. Darn this new OS.

There a far better ad in 10 seconds off the top of my head.

Or Bill Gates could just throw money out of a hot air balloon. Or he could GIVE PC's to every school in america which would single handedly destroy the future of Apple. Oh, but then he actually would have a monopoly...

[Fill]

Either Jerry jumped the shark or Bill is running the show and is out of touch... or doesn't care and just wants to hang with Seinfeld. Or all of the above. (*shakes head*)

[lisvender]

This commercial reminds me of one of those precious, impenetrable, blue-bordered IBM commercials.

[Jason]

..."nothing" has gotten old. Indeed.

[Marvin West]

Bill Gates doesn't work at Microsoft anymore, he left, which makes me say, WTF is he doing in this commerical anyway?

But really, the product is such an intangible in a way, what precisely WOULD one say about it to a mass audience? This is like "Coke Is It" or "Have it Your Way" advertising -- meaningless except quirky for the young audience. "Just Do It" and "Don't Leave Home WIthout it" and spend the money and get it done and help the economy.

[David S.]

I saw the commercial on TV and thought," huh? Seinfeld and Gates??? Is it an American Express commercial? What going on?"

But I found it hilarious!!! Who cares what they're selling, I'm not buying anything anyway, I have to put gas in my car to get to work.

And I found the Gates booty shake gut busting funny.

You folks just take things too seriously.