Bin Laden charges officially dropped

Osama bin Laden may now be in paradise, at the bottom of the sea or in an even darker place, but one thing his soul no longer needs to worry about is federal terrorism charges. On Friday, federal authorities filed court papers to drop terrorism charges against the fallen Al Qaeda leader.

According to the Associated Press, U.S. District Judge Lewis Kaplan approved the routine procedural request made by federal prosecutors to dismiss the charges that is typical when defendants under indictment die.

Bin Laden was killed in May when the Navy SEALs stormed his hideout in Pakistan. He later was buried at sea.

The original indictment was brought in a federal court in New York City in June 1998, accusing Bin Laden of supporting an ambush responsible for the deaths of 18 American soldiers in Somalia in 1993. Charges were eventually added to include the August 1998 dual bombings of two American embassies in East Africa that killed 224, and for his role in the suicide attack on the destroyer Cole in 2000.

Bin Laden's role in the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks was not included in these charges.

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-- Tony Pierce
twitter.com/busblog

Photo: Bin Laden, shown on Dec 24, 1998, speaks to reporters in the mountains of Afghanistan's Helmand province. He led the Al Qaeda network, which has claimed responsibility for attacks on symbols of U.S. power around the globe. Credit: Associated Press

First debate overview: A bunch of GOP colleagues get together to criticize President Obama

President Obama was the big loser in Monday night's New Hampshire Republican debate, the first with the frontrunner.

Obama, of course, wasn't there. The Democrat and his wife were on opposite sides of the country doing -- guess what? -- a packet of political fundraisers. She was in Los Angeles rounding up Hollywood cash and he was in Miami for a trio of moola events, en route to another fundraiser in Puerto Rico today.

In New Hampshire the existing field of seven Republicans had different missions going into the 120-minute rhetorical tussle. There was a bothersome hectic air about the show. Being TV, host John King was constantly stressing time, time, time, as if there weren't 14 months until the convention and 512 days until the 2012 election. And who cares if Anderson Cooper's show starts late?

So the candidates had a whole 60 seconds to explain various stands plus 30-second responses. Any depth was accidental. (The full two-hour transcript is available here. Good luck with that.)

For Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann, it was....

Late-night's best: The good news in the Supreme Court's order for California to release 46,000 felons

As The Ticket's 65,000-plus Twitter followers here and 6,800 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the Share buttons above. Normally, we publish these on Monday mornings.

Leno: The G-8 nations met in France, the world's top economic powers. President Obama arrived and the other seven said, 'What are you doing here?'

Fallon: President Obama now plans a state visit to Puerto Rico in June. A state visit to Puerto Rico? I'm pretty sure that's really a vacation to Puerto Rico.

Leno: The bad news: The Supreme Court has ordered California to release 46,000 felons due to prison  overcrowding. The good news: Oakland Raider season ticket sales are soaring.

Leno: On his trip to Europe President Obama met with Queen Elizabeth in London and she suggested returning to pre-1776 borders.

Letterman: So you heard about Oprah's last show? Sad time for the ladies in my book club. But Oprah finally explained why she cancelled the Apocalypse.

Leno: A nice tribute to Chicago by Oprah. She ended her season in May, just like the Cubs.

Fallon: A new study says Oprah fans will feel overwhelming loneliness with the....

How President Obama barely beat the deadline to sign the Patriot Act extension -- without picking up a pen

Because extending certain provisions of the Patriot Act before they expired at midnight last night was deemed so essential to national security, the extension legislation was, of course, left until the last minutes, thanks to the political paragons of Congress.

Republicans wanted a permanent extension. Democrats didn't.

They settled on June 1, 2015.

After a feud about guns, the four-year Patriot Act Sunset Extensions of 2011 passed in the Senate Thursday 72-23.

Then, with barely 300 minutes to spare, the House passed the same measure, 250-153. Our colleague Lisa Mascaro carefully chronicles some of the bill's provisions, what all the government spooks can peek into now still with secret federal court approval.

Phew, that was close! Law-abiding terrorists were just waiting for midnight (Eastern Daylight) to start plotting on the phone.

But, wait! The Patriot Act extension couldn't become law until it was signed by the president.

And if this is Friday, Obama must be off on another foreign trip somewhere. Sure enough, they found him 3,719 miles away toughing out a couple of days with other G-8 leaders in the French resort of Deauville.

According to aides, Obama had to be awakened early Friday, which was after the deadline by French beach resort time.

The commander-in-chief reportedly reviewed the provisions carefully and ordered his signature affixed to said bill.

Wait! What? The president of the United States didn't actually sign it himself??

Remember, back in 2009 when Obama was so excited about the economic stimulus bill that didn't really work as well as Joe Biden promised everybody? And so Obama flew Air Force One out to Denver with the legislation to personally sign it there, for some reason?

Well, here's one of the dirty not-so-little secrets of American politics. Yes, the....

Obama speech text: Middle East has 'a choice between hate and hope'

President Obama's speech on Middle East and North Africa, as provided by the White House

THE PRESIDENT:  Thank you.  Thank you.  (Applause.)  Thank you very much.  Thank you.  Please, have a seat.  Thank you very much.  I want to begin by thanking Hillary Clinton, who has traveled so much these last six months that she is approaching a new landmark -- one million frequent flyer miles.  (Laughter.)  I count on Hillary every single day, and I believe that she will go down as one of the finest Secretaries of State in our nation’s history.

The State Department is a fitting venue to mark a new chapter in American diplomacy.  For six months, we have witnessed an extraordinary change taking place in the Middle East and North Africa.  Square by square, town by town, country by country, the people have risen up to demand their basic human rights.  Two leaders have stepped aside.  More may follow.  And though these countries may be a great distance from our shores, we know that our own future is bound to this region by the forces of economics and security, by history and by faith.
 
Today, I want to talk about this change -- the forces that are driving it and how we can respond in a way that advances our values and strengthens our security.

Now, already, we’ve done much to shift our foreign policy following a decade defined by....

Syria's President Bashar al-Assad to Obama: What?

WARNING: This story contains references to the Obama administration's repetitious and meaningless diplomatic warnings that may be disturbing to some.

Every now and then the Obama administration likes to warn somebody about something. (Scroll to bottom for partial list.) It looks like real action -- even tough -- and sounds pretty good for a news cycle or two. However, like calling for immigration reform or more college education, it doesn't really accomplish anything.

Wednesday, the Obama administration tried to get really, really tough on Syria for repressing democracy demonstrators, reportedly killing upwards of 1,000 so far. This White House began warning Syria and its president with the unsuccessful moustache back when the reported victim count was in the dozens.

But Wednesday the American administration seemed to get serious. It slapped....

Late-night's best: The secrets within Osama bin Laden's diary

As The Ticket's 64,000-plus Twitter followers here and 6,800 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the Share buttons above. Normally, we publish these on Monday mornings.

Letterman: Osama bin Laden's Diary: 'April 12 - Dear Diary, Awful TV reception. Death to Time Warner!' April 20 - Dear Diary, three wives and one bathroom. You do the math.'

Fallon: Yup, Bin Laden reportedly had a porn stash in his hideout. Some interesting titles: ‘Debbie Does Abbottabad,’ ‘Deep Goat’ and ‘Bare Ankles 4.'

Conan: President Obama says the Bin Laden raid was the longest 40 minutes of his life. With the possible exception of every time he asks Joe Biden, 'Hey, what’s up?'

Letterman: Osama bin Laden did suffer after all. He was cooped up six years with three wives always complaining that he never took them anywhere. Finally, the SEALs arrive and Bin Laden says, 'What took you so long?'

Letterman: Did you hear of the SEALs' backup plan? Invite Osama Bin Laden to an Italian restaurant and tape a gun to the toilet.

Letterman: We’re learning more about Osama Bin Laden’s plans. He wanted to create chaos in Washington. Well, thank God that didn’t happen!

Conan: After killing Bin Laden, President Obama's approval rating was the highest in two years. At this rate, Obama can count on reelection if he just kills Osama bin Laden two more times in the next 12 months.

Letterman: Strange. When I first heard about Osama bin Laden, my first thought was: NOW what will Oprah do for her last guest?

Conan: Officials are confirming that besides SEAL Team 6 there was also a team of lawyers available in case Bin Laden was captured alive. The team goes by the much less exciting code name “Team Weisberg, Melman and Pratt.”

Conan: This past weekend in Detroit, a plane was diverted due to a threatening note. The note said, 'Welcome to Detroit.'

Fallon: A new report says the population of U.S. millionaires will double by 2020. Of course, by then being a millionaire will mean you have a full gas tank.

Leno: Hollywood is talking now about making a new Mad Max movie where people steal and kill over the world's limited gas supplies at some time in the future -- like July.

Conan:  A Delta passenger was arrested after he tried to open an emergency exit in flight. If he'd succeeded, he’d have been the first Delta passenger ever to make a connection on time. 

Leno: Leno: Mick Jagger's daughter is posing nude in Playboy next month. Here's the amazing part -- she's 72 years old.

Letterman: Katie Couric is leaving CBS News after five years. I thought she was a crown jewel. I watched her the other night. I really think it's time.

Fallon: The Obama 2012 presidential campaign moves into a 50,000-square-foot Chicago office. Ron Paul lands a sweet kiosk at the mall right across from Sunglass Hut.

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-- Andrew Malcolm

Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Does he talk?" The parrot says, "Not without a Teleprompter." Monday mornings, the best of late-night. And no need to go out; just click here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle now. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share this item with family and friends.

Photos: Khalid Tanveer / Associated Press (Pakistanis burn President Obama's image in protest over the death of Osamas bin Laden); Susan Walsh / Associated Press (Washington, D.C. gas prices); Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images (Couric).

Osama Bin Laden purportedly had an 'extensive' collection of pornography in a wooden box

Osama bin Laden might have been looking at a lot more than news reports of himself on the television set in his home in Pakistan. Reuters reported Friday that U.S. commandos found a "fairly extensive" collection of pornography at the terrorist's suburban hideout.

U.S. officials told Reuters they did not know whether the Al Qaeda leader had purloined or viewed the materials, described as "modern electronically recorded video," and they did not know where in the three-story compound the adult content was discovered.

However, an unnamed official told ABC News that the "huge" stash was found in a wooden box in Bin Laden's bedroom. 

Needless to say, bloggers are having a field day with this discovery.

Reason's Jacob Sullum, on a post titled "Bin Laden Was a Narcissistic, Beard-Dyeing Porn Fan (Also a Mass Murderer)", wondered whether the release of this news is part of the government's attempt "to discredit him after his death so ... he doesn't become a martyr in the eyes of the Arab youth," as former White House counterterrorism official Richard Clarke speculated when the videos of Bin Laden watching television were released last week.

Jack Stueff of Wonkette, the satirical political blog, asked, "Oh no! Why did we heathen Americans haveto make sexual intercourse so alluring to bin Ladne’s body? Now he’ll never get into heaven. He was so close to getting into heaven!" Stueff's headline was "Officials Uncover Osama Bin Laden’s Inevitable Porn Stash".

TMZ went withthe headline: "Osama bin NAUGHTY-- Porn Found In Hideout".

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-- Tony Pierce
twitter.com/busblog

Photo: Osama bin Laden is shown watching himself on television, with U.S. President Barack Obama also on screen, in this video frame grab released by the U.S. Pentagon May 7, 2011.  Credit: REUTERS/Pentagon/Handout

Americans question 3 Osama bin Laden widows, but they are reported openly hostile for some reason

A surprising bit of news out of Pakistan this morning:

After repeated pleas to Pakistani counterparts, American intelligence officials were given access to three of Osama bin Laden's widows.

That's potentially helpful presumably. But that's not the surprising part. The surprising part is that these three new widows were openly hostile to interrogators representing the government that had made hunting down their husband a top military and political priority for almost a decade since the 9/11 attacks.

The trio of females with a range of assorted children were living together in the million-dollar Bin Laden housing compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.

Early in the morning of May 2 four helicopters appeared over their house. One crashed into the compound. Several dozen heavily armed men burst into the buildings, participated in a firefight, shot three men dead including a son and their husband, wounded one of the wives in the leg and removed considerable property, including their dead terrorist spouse's body.

Why would anyone be hostile after such a successful raid in which no Americans were reported injured?

CNN is reporting that American intelligence officers were finally permitted to question the three women Thursday. But only in the presence of Pakistani intelligence officials and only with the three women together.

Standard interrogation procedures would involve questioning the women separately to acquire, compare and contrast details of their stories and play them off against each other. The presence of Pakistani intelligence operatives would likely inhibit the spilling of any details on how they might have been protecting the world's most wanted man living near the country's main military academy.

Bin Laden actually had at least 20 children with his five wives, but he was separated from two of the spouses. One of Bin Laden's sons was killed in the SEAL raid. Bin Laden himself came from an extended family of 53 siblings from 23 women married to his father.

The Americans apparently hope to renew their questioning at another time.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Pho0to: AFP / Getty Images (The Bin Laden housing compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan).

At last, a Barack Obama action figure (large gun included)

It didn't work when they tried it a couple of years ago. Barack Obama in a suit.

Think about it: A Community Organizer action figure. Doing what? Talking? Knocking on a door? Handing out protest leaflets at the mall?

Even after two-plus years as president, a Barack Obama action figure would be doing what? Holding a meeting? Handing out money? Talking windmills? Playing golf?

But now, finally, thanks to a band of courageous Navy SEALs and their recent assassination of the world's most wanted man, a Connecticut toymaker can depict a fictional Barack Obama action figure -- with a gun. For shooting people dead. Just like real soldiers.

But now that the nation's commander-in-chief has done some military commanding (withdrawing from Iraq and two Afghan troop surges don't count), Herobuilders can finally add an Obama doll to its now bipartisan Sarah Palin, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney doll collection.

The company says its products are all USA made.

Warning: Just like the real thing, the Obama doll requires a large amount of money -- $34.95. Or if you're among wealthy Americans and you'd like to practice paying more, there's also an Obama Joker doll for $49.95.

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-- Andrew Malcolm

Follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle. Use the ReTweet buttons above to share any item with family and friends.

Photo: Herobuilders.com; Pete Souza / White House (Obama and staff in action).