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Political commentary from Andrew Malcolm

Category: Pets

Ticket pic of the week: Do not try this at home

Snake charmer kisses his cobra pal in India

Oh, you bet. Here's something we'll for sure try on our next visit to India.

We show our respect to cobra creatures by staying the heck away.

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No, that's a little far, back up a few feet

You know, that statue hasn't moved the entire time I've been watching

-- Andrew Malcolm

Follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. Use the ReTweet buttons above to share any item with family and friends.

Photo: Bazuki Muhammad / Reuters

GOP debate: Rick Perry vs. Mitt Romney, plus Gary Johnson and some dogs

   Fox-Google-Debate-You-Tube-Logo

If you believe pollster Frank Luntz's focus group in the post-game analysis on Fox News, Mitt Romney did himself a lot of good in Thursday's two-hour Fox News/Google GOP Debate, held in Orlando, Fla.

Nine candidates faced questions from FNC anchors Bret Baier, Chris Wallace and Megyn Kelly, and from citizens via YouTube and text messages: Gary Johnson, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Ron Paul, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Herman Cain and Jon Huntsman Jr.

Baier mentioned Google had provided Fox News with a new "boop" sound to indicate a candidate had run over time, since the former bell raised the ire of dog owners (and apparently the volume of their pets' barking).

Speaking of dogs, former New Mexico Gov. Johnson, who hasn't been in a debate since the first one in May, got in the line of the evening, quipping, "My next-door neighbors' two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than this current administration."

It got a lot of laughs even though some people swear they've heard Rush Limbaugh tell the same yarn.

Not to be outdone in the canine arena, Georgia-born businessman Cain criticized....

Continue reading »

Ticket pic of the week: And the little girl said, 'My, what big teeth you have'

animatronic Tyrannosaurus Rex Edinburgh National Museum of Scotland reopening

A Scottish rugby player greets adoring fans after a practice session in Edinburgh.

Just kidding. It is in Edinburgh. But it's an animatronic T-rex, part of the new displays at the National Museum of Scotland.

It recently reopened after a long remodeling. And look what they found in the attic!

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Here's one White House Obama who's shovel-ready

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photo: David Moir / Reuters

Ticket pic of the week: No, Hannibal used elephants

Swedish Camel trainer Ali Abdullah Hassan

Imagine Ali Abdullah Hassan's surprise when he emigrated from Somalia in 2007 and after working some odd jobs found secure permanent employment training and caring for a pack of camels.

Hassan's new home, of course, is Sweden, near Gyttorp, to be precise. The camels are a family, in fact, mother, father and son. Hassan is training them to carry riders and sings to them in Arabic.

Of course.

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Ticket Pic of the week: Year of the Rabbit off to rough start for this guy

Ticket pic of the week: Even pandas need to play too

Ticket video of the week: Jesse gets down to work

-- Andrew Malcolm

Speaking of Sweden, don't forget to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle. Use the ReTweet buttons above to share any item with family and friends.

Photo: Bob Strong / Reuters

Late-night's best: The Kardashian$, Twitter, Home Depot, bankrupt Borders and a 1 HP Lamborghini

A $500,000 Lamborghini

As The Ticket's 58,900-plus Twitter followers here and 6,500 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the share buttons above.

Here's the regular Monday morning collection from the previous week:

Leno: This week is the 40th anniversary of the war on drugs. Our partner Mexicans had a moment of silence and then hours of laughter.
Farmville on Facebook
Conan: President Obama met with Facebook's founder, Mark Zuckerberg, today. The good news is he can create new jobs. The bad news is, they're all in Farmville.

Leno: So Facebook is thinking of buying Twitter for $10 billion to combine the two companies into the biggest waste of time the world has ever seen.

"SNL": Current TV. If you're not familiar with Current TV, it's a channel founded by Al Gore. If you are familiar with Current TV, congratulations on being Al Gore.

Conan: Reports today that last year the Kardashian sisters made....

Continue reading »

Ticket pic of week: Year of the Rabbit off to rough start for this guy

Year of the Rabbit off to tough start for one in Beijing

Uh, little help here.

Hello?

Anybody there?

Who

needs

a cup?

Could

somebody

get

this

thing

off

my face

please?

This Beijing bunny was a little too curious.

But he's fine now.

And so much wiser about the dangers of urban life.

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Ticket pic of week: One justice's verdict on Obama's long State of the Union

Ticket pic of the week: At least snow melts sometime

Ticket pic of the week: Even pandas need to play too

Ticket photo of the week: Very patriotic. Also quite cold!

Ticket video of the week: Jesse gets down to work

-- Andrew Malcolm

Hop over here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share any item with family and friends.

Photo: Ng Han Guan /Associated Press

Ticket Video Replay: Jesse gets down to work

During the holiday season, as in years past, The Ticket is republishing some of our favorite items from the previous political year. This story was originally published on Nov.20, 2010:

Not just one photo this week, but a video.

If you're not into pets, maybe you will be after watching this brief one.

This little guy works harder than a newly-elected member of Congress. Plus, he's obedient.

In fact......

-- Andrew Malcolm

We'd have Jesse do it, but he has no opposing thumbs. Click here now to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. If you support Brandy click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle now. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share any item with family and friends.

 

Tucker Carlson says Michael Vick should've received same death sentence NFL player gave so many dogs

Tucker Carlson, the media provocateur and recovering bow-tie wearer, has launched a new controversy in this week of otherwise slow news.

He has now suggested that Michael Vick, the Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, should have been executed. Not for the awful way the guy played against Minnesota on Tuesday night, crippling his team's chances for a top playoff spot.Michael Vick

But for the canine homicides, maimings and tortures that Vick sanctioned, promoted and encouraged during his organized dog-fighting activities while playing for the Atlanta Falcons.

Vick spent 19 months as a member of a federal penitentiary before being picked up to try to play for the Eagles, where the ex-Virginia Tech player will be a free agent after this season. He says he would really like to have another dog "to show people that I genuinely care."

Carlson says Vick should have received the same lethal death sentence the player gave his canine victims. Here's what Carlson had to say (view video below):

"I'm a Christian. I've made mistakes myself. I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs. And he did so in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that."

The issue arises because it was revealed this week that President Obama inserted himself into the simmering Vick case.

In a recent phone call to Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie, the White House confirms, the president expressed appreciation for the businessman giving Vick a second chance in the city of Brotherly Love after Lurie had become dissatisfied with the performance of his previous quarterback, Donovan McNabb.

Obama, many recall, is a dog owner himself, albeit a reluctant one. The Obamas did not have a family pet. However, during the 2008 campaign it was noted that an overwhelming majority of American voters have household pets, that every White House resident needs a dog to look presidential and that John McCain already had 14 pets including several dogs. So Obama announced he would get a dog for his daughters if he won.

He won.

And eventually Sen. Edward Kennedy bought a dog for Obama, which they named Bo, as in Barack Obama's initials.

-- Andrew Malcolm

No criminal history required. Just click here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle now. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share this item with family and friends.

Photo: Jim O'Connor

 

Ticket Replay: Forget Groundhog Day! Feb. 2 = Marmot Day, thanks to Sarah Palin

A Marmot taking the sun

During the holiday season, as in years past, The Ticket is republishing some of our favorite items from the previous political year. This story was originally published on Feb. 2, 2010:

The weirdest thing:

Every year at this very same time on this very same day the very same thing happens: Bill Murray and others talking about groundhogs, of all things. And Pennsylvania, of all places. And none of it has anything to do with Arlen Specter.

This year, however, for a refreshing change we can talk about marmots (See photos). All due to best-selling author Sarah Palin.

That's because thanks to her signature way back when she was a state governor, today is the nation's first official Marmot Day. At least in Alaska.

Try to control your excitement.

The Marmot Day legislation was actually introduced by fellow Wasilla Republican state Sen. Linda Menard. And, hey, since some places have state dinosaurs, what governor is gonna pick a fight over vetoing a bill about something as important as Marmot Day?

As silly as it might sound, a Marmot Day actually makes more sense than a Groundhog Day. Especially in Alaska, which doesn't have any sluggish groundhogs like Pennsylvania Phil or whatever his Chamber of Commerce name is in the Keystone State. Groundhogs have great February PR, but aren't tough enough for Alaska.Marmots Dancing

Like many Americans these days, marmots look obese, rather like a plus-size ground squirrel after Thanksgiving dinner.

Except marmots are vegans.

Yes, they are rodents. But funny, playful ones, whether city folks believe it or not.

Marmots favor the mountains and rocky mountainsides for their burrows.

Most of them are actually asleep now, which is a wise thing to be at this time of year in eagle country if you are brown and everything else is white.

Next summer, though, if you're hiking or fishing in such areas, just sit down and quietly paws for an hour. Chances are a band of curious marmots will bounce onto the scene like a boisterous, circus troupe of tiny Italian gymnasts.

They chatter, chuckle and whistle, as if hailing a cab in the woods. Some people swear the marmots work mountain paths and passing hikers like teams of urban pickpockets on crowded city sidewalks.

While a couple of the furry comedians distract the humans with a hilariously entertaining show of dancing and rodent wrestling, their unseen partner sneaks up from behind to filch any unattended chips or sandwiches. Some particularly brazen marmots even forage uninvited in idle backpacks to see if they can help lighten the load at all.

But if a human has nothing edible to offer, voluntarily or otherwise, be prepared for a vociferous team scolding.

See, you never know what you might find on The Ticket.

No, this doesn't have much to do politics. Well, except for the entertainment part.

And the filching.

-- Andrew Malcolm

Click here and get six more weeks of 2010 plus Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item all day every day. Or follow us @latimestot. You can also go to our new Facebook fan page here.

Photos: Getty Images.

Ticket pic of the week: Even pandas need teddy bears

a Panda in China with his very own Teddy Bear

In China someone thought it might make a cute photo to give a teddy bear to a panda.

It worked.

From the looks of both bears, it's probably best not to attempt to separate them now. Which is what usually happens with teddy bears.

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Ticket pic of the week: Hillary Clinton sniffs a new opportunity

-- Andrew Malcolm

Click here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share any item with family and friends.

Photo: Reuters

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About the Columnist
A veteran foreign and national correspondent, Andrew Malcolm has served on the L.A. Times Editorial Board and was a Pulitzer finalist in 2004. He is the author of 10 nonfiction books and father of four. Read more.
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