As The Ticket's 63,000-plus Twitter followers here and 6,600 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the Share buttons above.
Leno: The FAA is taking steps to fire a Knoxville air traffic controller for sleeping five hours on duty. Taking steps? He was sleeping five hours on an eight-hour shift! What do you have to do to get fired from government?
Leno: President Obama has a plan to pay off our $14-trillion debt: He calls on all Americans to have more grandchildren to grow up and pay taxes.
Leno: The price of gas in Southern California is now close to five bucks a gallon. It's so expensive today I passed a van packed with legal Americans.
Leno: Gas prices went up 20 cents just this week! Shouldn't we stop calling it crude oil and just make it obscene oil?
Leno: A new poll says only 19% of Americans strongly approve of Obama. The other 81% do not own gas stations.
Leno: So relations are strained between the U.S. and Pakistan, which says it's slowing down the hunt for Osama bin Laden. Really? 10 years now. How do you tell slower?
Conan: Hillary Clinton said the ousting of Ivory Coast President Laurent Gbagbo sends a message to other dictators. And the message is, “If we can’t pronounce your name, you’re toast.”
Letterman: The Obamas plan a little change in this year's White House Easter Egg Roll. This year the kids will be looking for Obama’s birth certificate.
Conan: In a recent interview, President Obama said, “I miss being anonymous." He says,....