Bristol Palin puts Arizona house up for rent

Bristol Palin, a former contestant on "Dancing With the Stars," has decided to shuffle off to Los Angeles leaving behind her newly purchased home in Maricopa, Ariz.

Palin plans on renting out the five bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, Pinal County home that boasts a three-car garage. Although the tract house, built in 2006, has no private pool, the Cobblestone Farms community has a communal pool, walking paths and children’s playgrounds.

The price to have Sarah Palin's oldest daughter as your landlord? A mere $1,400 a month.

When new, the 3,900-square-foot stucco, two-story house sold for $329,560 but it fell into foreclosure in early 2010. A couple bought the property in May 2010, for $137,200 and sold it to the 20-year-old Palin six months later for $172,000 in cold hard cash.

Bristol, an anti-teen pregnancy advocate, plans to move to Los Angeles to participate in a new reality show on the BIO Channel. On the show, she and her son, Tripp, will live with brothers Kyle and Christopher Massey and work at a charity.

"While on 'Dancing,' Bristol became extremely close with fellow contestant, actor Kyle Massey. Since the show, Bristol, Kyle, and Kyle's brother, actor Christopher Massey, have become best friends; so much so, that since Bristol and Tripp have to move to Los Angeles for her new job, she decides to move in with the Massey brothers who are also about to realize how much their lives are about to change," the BIO channel said in a statement last month that deemed Bristol "the most famous single mother in America."

Bristol's home should not be confused with her mother's $1.7-million Arizona vacation home in nearby Scottsdale.

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Levi Johnston to release a tell-all book about former Gov. Sarah Palin's family

-- Tony Pierce
Twitter.com/busblog

Photo: Bristol Palin's Arizona house is up for rent. Credit: Reuters / Tim Gaynor

Late-night jokes: Seeking better advice, Obama replaces top economic advisor with Magic 8-Ball

As The Ticket's 67,000-plus Twitter followers here and 6,900 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the Share buttons above. Normally, we publish these on Monday mornings.

Conan: Apple founder Steve Jobs plans a new state-of-the-art corporate headquarters. Then in six months he’ll replace it with a slightly thinner headquarters with a crappy camera.

Leno: I don’t get how Washington works. We can't see Osama bin Laden’s death photo because it’s too explicit. But a congressman’s penis is OK.

Letterman: Hey, how about this Congressman Anthony Weiner guy. Is this amazing or what? It's the worst congressional scandal all week.

Conan: Congressman Weiner now admits to having affairs with six different women on email, Twitter and Facebook. Plus today he admitted an affair with three chickens on FarmVille.

Conan: New poll finds 51% of New York voters said Congressman Weiner should keep his seat. The other 49% think he should disinfect it.

Fallon: New York lawmakers proposed a new program to teach teenagers about....

Party time again: Michelle Obama explains the Angela Merkel state dinner for you guys without invites

Another big night in the Barack Obama White House today, planned as another Salahi-free state dinner. This one is for Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel, whom Obama hasn't seen since their big meeting in France two weeks ago.

This is the fourth of these big to-do's, the most recent one being for China's President Hu. It'll be in the Rose Garden at the first lady's suggestion. In Washington culture, invites to these things are much coveted in a bipartisan way -- and used as rewards or persuasive invitations to become more helpful, politically speaking, to the big guy in the round office. Who knows, there are certainly donors in here too.

Two-hundred-and-twenty elites will partake in the grand soiree. Scroll down for Michelle Obama's own take on what the evening holds. And scroll even further to see all the guests who did make the cut (Lots of Honourable This and That, but also columnist E.J. Dionne, Diane Sawyer, Susan Eisenhower, James Hoffa and Chief Justice John Roberts).

While the political royalty dines outside the White House this evening, a gaggle of Republicans will be arguing up in New Hampshire, as the Democratic debate competition opens to become the host of future state dinners after Jan. 20, 2013.

The eat-less admonitions of the first lady go out the bulletproof windows at....

The advice Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner gave Ben Affleck before you-know-what happened

What an amazing coincidence!

When noted Democratic actor Ben Affleck wanted to research the role of a crooked congressman a couple of years ago, he knew right where to go: Rep. Anthony Weiner, a New York Democrat in the House.

This was in 2008, mind you.

And Affleck was preparing to play the role of Stephen Collins in "State of Play."

It's your typical modern-day Hollywood movie about an ambitious, go-get-'em congressman with a beautiful wife who gets hung up on exchanging sexy messages and lewd photos with women all over the country until one day he fires off a shot of his enlarged underpants on Twitter and forgets to make it a Direct Message and there's no Unsend button.

So he announces that he's been hacked, but he can't be sure if those are his boxer briefs, and many who are intimately familiar with their own underwear start doubting him as photos leak out and he confesses at a news conference but says he never actually touched the women and refuses to resign.

Oh, no, wait. That's the real story of Rep. Weiner.

Affleck's fictional movie was about a murdered mistress and crusading members of the lamestream liberal media trying to solve the homicide and finally make American society right for a change.

Anyway, the actor and Weiner became fast, argumentative friends, according to an archived story in a certain New York City newspaper. They dined often and discussed many things and Weiner offered Affleck advice about what not to do as he plans a future in politics. (Don't challenge his friend in Massachusetts.)

Weiner said he developed "a grudging respect" for the actor. "He has good political instincts," Weiner added. "He said Barack was going to win and he turned out to be right." Weiner was referring to Barack Obama, a former state senator in the Chicago Democratic machine who now occupies the White House.

For his part, Affleck said Weiner "struck me as a guy who was more dynamic than a lot of people I met there."

That's one word for it.

RELATED:

According to Weiner, he lied and sent lewd photos to a half dozen women

Weinergate: Twitter erupts with jokes about you-know-whose you-know-what

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photos: Andrew Burton / Getty Images (Weiner confessing); Ken Hively / Los Angeles Times (Affleck posing).

Brigitte Nielsen says she had a fling with Schwarzenegger: 'We didn’t hold back'

Brigitte Nielsen, the Danish actress and former Playboy model, is claiming that in 1985 while Arnold Schwarzenegger was dating Maria Shriver, the two actors had an intimate affair.

Nielson, who is promoting her autobiography "You Only Get One Life," told the Daily Mail last week that the romance between her and Schwarzenegger on the set of "Red Sonja" was passionate but that both parties knew the fling would only last as long as the shoot.

"Since we both knew that it wouldn’t last beyond the movie, we didn’t hold back," Nielsen said of the dalliances. "We wanted to try everything and so we did. There were no restrictions, no promises, nothing, and it was a great time in my life."

One year later, Schwarzenegger would marry Shriver, but according to Nielsen the future governor never talked about his feelings for the woman who would become the mother of his four children.

"He never spoke about her -- and the way he was living his life with me, I felt I was the only one," Nielsen told the Mail. "Then I realized about him and Maria and, wow, I felt cheated. Maybe I wouldn’t have got into it if he said, 'I’m going to marry Maria and this is dead serious,' but he didn’t, and our affair carried on."

Nielsen, who most recently appeared on several VH-1 reality shows ("The Surreal Life," "Strange Love," "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew"), said that even back in the 1980s Schwarzenegger had his eye on the prize -- the political prize, that is.

"He told me at the beginning of shooting 'Red Sonja,' 'One day, I will become governor of California,' " Nielson recalled. "And we were all laughing, but I had a feeling he would do it one day."

RELATED:

Arnold Schwarzenegger admits to adultery, Twitter erupts with jokes

In Schwarzenegger's Brentwood neighborhood, shock over news of affair

Steve Lopez to Schwarzenegger: You want criticism for your actions? Here it is

-- Tony Pierce
twitter.com/busblog

Photo: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Brigitte Nielsen in "Red Sonja." Credit: Warner Bros.

How President Obama barely beat the deadline to sign the Patriot Act extension -- without picking up a pen

Because extending certain provisions of the Patriot Act before they expired at midnight last night was deemed so essential to national security, the extension legislation was, of course, left until the last minutes, thanks to the political paragons of Congress.

Republicans wanted a permanent extension. Democrats didn't.

They settled on June 1, 2015.

After a feud about guns, the four-year Patriot Act Sunset Extensions of 2011 passed in the Senate Thursday 72-23.

Then, with barely 300 minutes to spare, the House passed the same measure, 250-153. Our colleague Lisa Mascaro carefully chronicles some of the bill's provisions, what all the government spooks can peek into now still with secret federal court approval.

Phew, that was close! Law-abiding terrorists were just waiting for midnight (Eastern Daylight) to start plotting on the phone.

But, wait! The Patriot Act extension couldn't become law until it was signed by the president.

And if this is Friday, Obama must be off on another foreign trip somewhere. Sure enough, they found him 3,719 miles away toughing out a couple of days with other G-8 leaders in the French resort of Deauville.

According to aides, Obama had to be awakened early Friday, which was after the deadline by French beach resort time.

The commander-in-chief reportedly reviewed the provisions carefully and ordered his signature affixed to said bill.

Wait! What? The president of the United States didn't actually sign it himself??

Remember, back in 2009 when Obama was so excited about the economic stimulus bill that didn't really work as well as Joe Biden promised everybody? And so Obama flew Air Force One out to Denver with the legislation to personally sign it there, for some reason?

Well, here's one of the dirty not-so-little secrets of American politics. Yes, the....

Late-night's best: Obama's sunken approval rating bad news for Kadafi

As The Ticket's 65,000-plus Twitter followers here and 6,800 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the Share buttons above. Normally, we publish these on Monday mornings.

Letterman: On Monday no more smoking in New York City public places. So after today if you’re holding something smoking in New York City, it better be a gun.

Leno: President Obama wants Israel to go back to pre-1967 borders. Now, Native Americans are demanding Obama go back to pre-1492 borders.

Leno: You heard about that whole world-coming-to-an-end thing, right? Look, I love Oprah too. But it was just a TV show.

Letterman: Oprah has taped her last show. I hope to God she's taken care of her money. I do. Because I think Steadman may be sucking her dry.

Leno: President Obama's approval rating went up after the SEALs....

John McCain and Sarah Palin together again as you've never seen them before

They're baaaack.

And just in time for the 2012 political season.

HBO is currently filming its adaptation of "Game Change."

That's Mark Halperin and John Heilemann's bestselling chronicle of the 2008 John McCain-Sarah Palin presidential campaign that didn't sell so well.

Their Arizona-Alaska effort to keep the White House in Republican control, coming after eight years of you-know-who and his sidekick, you-know-him-too, who led the country into two wars and left the country in the hands of an ex-state you-know-what who's upped the ante in one war and started another against Libya.

Other than that and the spending beyond belief and the $3 trillion-plus of new national debt and no end in sight to the harsh political tone of Washington and the healthcare bill that seems to have more large companies exempted from its rules than are covered, other than those little things, everything turned out for the better.

Anyway, for those folks who want to reminisce about that endless campaign as we head into another that'll cost even more, this movie should be right up their alley.

Here's a newly released photo of McCain, who will play himself. No, not really. This is Ed Harris pretending to be John McCain.

Julianne Moore has been chosen to play the role of the Tina Fey lookalike from Alaska.

-- Andrew Malcolm

Follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle. Use the ReTweet buttons above to share any item with family and friends.

Upper photo: Ed Harris as McCain in "Game Change." Credit: HBO / EW.com

Lower photo: Julianne Moore as Palin in "Game Change." Credit: HBO / EW.com

Late-night's best: The secrets within Osama bin Laden's diary

As The Ticket's 64,000-plus Twitter followers here and 6,800 Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our daily picks of the late-night jokes of interest, usually before broadcast each night. Feel free to pass them on to friends using the Share buttons above. Normally, we publish these on Monday mornings.

Letterman: Osama bin Laden's Diary: 'April 12 - Dear Diary, Awful TV reception. Death to Time Warner!' April 20 - Dear Diary, three wives and one bathroom. You do the math.'

Fallon: Yup, Bin Laden reportedly had a porn stash in his hideout. Some interesting titles: ‘Debbie Does Abbottabad,’ ‘Deep Goat’ and ‘Bare Ankles 4.'

Conan: President Obama says the Bin Laden raid was the longest 40 minutes of his life. With the possible exception of every time he asks Joe Biden, 'Hey, what’s up?'

Letterman: Osama bin Laden did suffer after all. He was cooped up six years with three wives always complaining that he never took them anywhere. Finally, the SEALs arrive and Bin Laden says, 'What took you so long?'

Letterman: Did you hear of the SEALs' backup plan? Invite Osama Bin Laden to an Italian restaurant and tape a gun to the toilet.

Letterman: We’re learning more about Osama Bin Laden’s plans. He wanted to create chaos in Washington. Well, thank God that didn’t happen!

Conan: After killing Bin Laden, President Obama's approval rating was the highest in two years. At this rate, Obama can count on reelection if he just kills Osama bin Laden two more times in the next 12 months.

Letterman: Strange. When I first heard about Osama bin Laden, my first thought was: NOW what will Oprah do for her last guest?

Conan: Officials are confirming that besides SEAL Team 6 there was also a team of lawyers available in case Bin Laden was captured alive. The team goes by the much less exciting code name “Team Weisberg, Melman and Pratt.”

Conan: This past weekend in Detroit, a plane was diverted due to a threatening note. The note said, 'Welcome to Detroit.'

Fallon: A new report says the population of U.S. millionaires will double by 2020. Of course, by then being a millionaire will mean you have a full gas tank.

Leno: Hollywood is talking now about making a new Mad Max movie where people steal and kill over the world's limited gas supplies at some time in the future -- like July.

Conan:  A Delta passenger was arrested after he tried to open an emergency exit in flight. If he'd succeeded, he’d have been the first Delta passenger ever to make a connection on time. 

Leno: Leno: Mick Jagger's daughter is posing nude in Playboy next month. Here's the amazing part -- she's 72 years old.

Letterman: Katie Couric is leaving CBS News after five years. I thought she was a crown jewel. I watched her the other night. I really think it's time.

Fallon: The Obama 2012 presidential campaign moves into a 50,000-square-foot Chicago office. Ron Paul lands a sweet kiosk at the mall right across from Sunglass Hut.

Related:

Americans question 3 Osama bin Laden widows, but they're reported hostile for some reason

Late-night's best: What else the SEALs found in Osama bin Laden's home

Late-night's best: Living like that, why didn't Osama just shoot himself?

Late-night's best: Air Traffic controllers, NFL replacements and Donald Trump

Late-night's best: Obama, Osama, Oprah, Oh Biden!

-- Andrew Malcolm

Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Does he talk?" The parrot says, "Not without a Teleprompter." Monday mornings, the best of late-night. And no need to go out; just click here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We're also available on Kindle now. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share this item with family and friends.

Photos: Khalid Tanveer / Associated Press (Pakistanis burn President Obama's image in protest over the death of Osamas bin Laden); Susan Walsh / Associated Press (Washington, D.C. gas prices); Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images (Couric).

Why do one-in-five American voters now believe Osama bin Laden is still alive?

Here we go again.

It's been only two weeks since President Obama reported on national television that an American commando team in four military helicopters had killed Osama bin Laden in his Pakistan bedroom. Within literally minutes, word of the terrorist's death by gunshot prompted seemingly spontaneous street celebrations outside the White House and elsewhere.

Now comes word from noted pollster John Zogby that while an overwhelming majority buys the administration's account, a surprising almost one-in-five likely American voters believes the Al Qaeda founder is not dead at all, nor buried at sea, as Obama officials have stated.

How could this possibly be?

That's more than twice the accepted estimate of silly folks who think Elvis is 76 now, watching his old movies and collecting Social Security in a secret somewhere.

How could so many presumably normal citizens (19%, according to Zogby) be so ignorant as to....