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Category: Dreams

Don't call me a slut, Meghan McCain demands

October 17, 2009 |  5:38 am

Meghan McCain Boobage from her Twitter page

It's Saturday. After traveling thousands of miles and raking in millions of donor dollars, both of the country's top Democrats have taken the day off. And we should too.

But before anyone reveals that Meghan McCain has her own line of underwear coming out this fall, we have to re-express our delight at the sight -- not so much of her cleavage (which, frankly, hon, we hadn't noticed until someone else pointed it out) --  but of the refreshing spontaneous spunkiness of a young woman apparently enjoying experimenting with life so much.

We're always looking to peek behind the scenes of politics here on The Ticket, to see how the pieces interact, the process unfolds, and to have some fun whenever possible.

Most days, gotta say, the fun part is hard duty given the stuffed suits offering their prefabricated pontifications and canned talking points on reams of policies and legislation that they haven't read.

Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell may well be the funniest family members at their Thanksgiving dinner table. But stick those Senate party leaders in front of the ubiquitous microphones arrayed on Capitol Hill, and no one needs any Benadryl to doze.

Which helps explain the naked media coverage of the 24-year-old's flaunted ...

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A special Labor Day tribute to those Americans on duty from those of us off

September 7, 2009 | 12:01 am

Sometimes, things happen.

But heading into this Labor Day holiday today, The Ticket's goal is no politics. In a bi-nonpartisan way, of course.

Today, our goal is to pay tribute to those of our countrymen and women around the world who don't have a day off, who will be eating MREs instead of backyard BBQ, for whom "a cold one" might mean an actual shower.

Without them and their predecessors and their successors, none of us would have the political freedoms we enjoy, very often take for granted -- and sometimes don't even bother to exercise because we're just too gosh-darned busy back here out of harm's way.

Turn your sound way up high to watch this moving musical video.

Give a three-minute mental salute to these folks. And then pass this link here on to anyone you think might like to join us.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Eunice Kennedy Shriver's political impact: 'You taught us to stand tall'

August 14, 2009 |  7:10 am

Eunice Kennedy Shriver, founder of the Special Olympics

Arguably, she had more impact on public life than any of her famous brothers -- President Kennedy, assassinated in his prime, as was his brother, New York Sen. Robert F. Kennedy; or even Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy, ailing now, battling brain cancer, the Lion of the Senate, unable to attend today's funeral mass.

Eunice Kennedy Shriver, the founder of the Special Olympics that gave mentally and physically challenged Americans a place to compete and find glory, will be buried today after a Mass at St. Francis Xavier Roman Catholic Church in Hyannis, Mass. For years this was the family summer parish, the church where her daughter, Maria Shriver, married Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1986.

Today's service is not open to the public, but yesterday's wake was. And what an outpouring of public appreciation.

In just one example, a group of adults from Cape Abilities, an organization that helps people with disabilities, clutched bunches of flowers as they waited in a line that snaked down to the parking lot. One of them, Mike Rhodes, held a card they had all signed. “You taught us to stand tall,” said the 25-year-old Rhodes said as he read the card. “She did. She [stood] tall for all of us and loved us."

The Mass will be streamed live from 6:30 to 9 a.m. PDT at www.eunicekennedyshriver.org.

-- Johanna Neuman

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Justice Sonia Sotomayor: 'No words can adequately express what I am feeling'

August 12, 2009 |  8:45 am

President Obama, the first African-American president, welcomes Justice Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latino Supreme Court justice, to the White House August 12, 2009

The first Latino Supreme Court justice was introduced today by the first African American president of the United States at a White House that has seen so many firsts in the last few months historians may some day marvel at the speed of change.

Both of them teared up.

At a reception in the East Room honoring Sonia Sotomayor, the newest Supreme Court justice, President Obama said, "We're here not just to celebrate our extraordinary new Supreme Court justice. We're here to celebrate an extraordinary moment for our nation…. We celebrate the greatness of a nation in which such a story is possible.''

With a host of activists, officials and relatives looking on -- including New York Gov. David Paterson, New York Dist. Atty. Robert Morgenthau and Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and John Paul Stevens -- Obama talked about how Sotomayor has already influenced Americans.

"It's not just about her," Obama said. "It's about every child who will grow up thinking to his or herself, 'If Sonia Sotomayor can make it, then maybe I can too.' "

But it was really the court's new, 111th justice who stole the show.

No longer in the brightly colored jackets of her confirmation hearings but dressed all in black, Sotomayor said that "no words can adequately express what I am feeling." Thanking her family and her colleagues, the president and the Senate, she said, "I am so grateful to all of you for this extraordinary opportunity."

But she gave most of the credit to America. Saying she was "struck by the wonder of my life," Sotomayor added, "I am most grateful to....

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Gov. Schwarzenegger: Michael Jackson "great entertainer" despite...

June 25, 2009 |  5:39 pm

Following is a statement issued minutes ago by the office of California Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger regarding the death of pop star Michael Jackson:

“Today, the world has lost one of the most influential and iconic figures in the music industry. From his performances with the Jackson 5, to the premiere of the ‘moonwalk’ and ‘Thriller,’ Michael was a pop phenomenon who never stopped pushing the envelope of creativity.

"Though there were serious questions about his personal life, Michael was undoubtedly a great entertainer and his popularity spanned generations and the globe. Maria and I join all Californians in expressing our shock and sadness over his death and our hearts go out the Jackson family, Michael’s children and to his fans worldwide.”

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Washington's dreamboats? You've got to be kidding

June 15, 2009 |  7:48 am

Today

Maybe this only proves the old adage that Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.

This morning, politico.com named its top dreamboats, and the list of seven admittedly powerful names is a bit, well, surprising.

No question Grover Norquist is an influential lobbyist, whose Americans for Tax Reform has impacted policy on the Potomac ever since the Reagan administration.

Undoubtedly Budget Director Peter Orszag, seen on the right in a photo with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, is a pivotal figure in bureaucratic circles, with his hands on the tiller of government spending.

And the list goes on, including Emanuel, "the West Wing version of Joe Pesci’s character in 'Goodfellas.'" House Minority Whip Eric Cantor, "a diamond in the rough." MSNBC's Chuck Todd, for bringing back the goatee. Vanity Fair's "chain-smoking, whiskey-drinking, God-denying" Christopher Hitchins. Libertarian presidential candidate Ron Paul, for his "tireless devotion to the Constitution."

OK, so these guys have power and influence, but calling its article The Hunks of Capitol Hill? Even politico.com acknowledges that Washington is about the only place where former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer would have a stalker.

Still, the website defends its selections by saying: 

The haters call Washington “Hollywood for ugly people,” but they’ve got it all wrong. Ugly is in the eye of the beholder, and the beholders inside the Beltway see beauty where others might miss it. ... Let the rest of the world have its Brad Pitt. D.C. knows who the real dreamboats are.

Let's just say Hollywood hasn't called yet.

The full story is below. Let us know what you think.

-- Johanna Neuman

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Photo Credit: Associated Press

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Levi Johnston's shockingly candid answers to CNN's Larry King

April 22, 2009 |  4:22 am

Well, once again Larry King's bookers have got the big get -- Levi Johnston is scheduled to be on the CNN show tonight, unless his pickup breaks down in Saskatchewan.

Levi Johnston

It's billed as an "exclusive" -- at least for this week.

Johnston's such a huge star that LK actually had to wait until after Johnston did the Tyra Banks Show.

But the nation is pretty gosh-darned excited to get maybe its ninth look at this high school dropout hockey player who is said to have impregnated Bristol Palin, the Alaska governor Sarah Palin's teenage daughter. What better reason to put someone on prime-time TV for millions to not watch?

There's nothing like the word "former" to help splinter families wide open, which is great TV entertainment. Watching other families squabble and pretending we don't.

So the former future son-in-law of the former future Republican vice president will undergo probing interrogation by the suspendered one, who's been getting married and remarried and remarried and doing this interviewing gig thing since even before Joe Biden became a senator.

Wardrobe note: On tonight's show everyone will probably be wearing a shirt, unlike on "Cops."

Because most of the nation's TiVos have already been set to record both of the Billy Mays specials tonight, as a public service the Ticket has collected virtually all of Levi Johnston's answers in ...

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Don't look at this buff, shirtless, semi-nude photo of Barack Obama

April 21, 2009 |  6:29 pm
Washingtonian cover of a shirtless President Barack obama in Hawaii in 2008

The last thing any fun-loving politics blog would ever do would be to cheapen itself on a slow weekday by publishing a couple of color photographs of some hunky guy who works out every day and happens to be president of the United States, just to prompt thousands of readers -- all right, lookers -- to click on its pages.

That would be an online gimmick worthy of a high-quality celebrity blog like, say, Elizabeth Snead's Dish Rag, which as it happens sent us just such a photo today, in a crass attempt to draw traffic away from us. We were disgusted that she would think we would stoop so low as to publish the photo larger than she does with her commentary over here.

Who would ever publish such photos simply because some magazine in Washington decides to put a pec pic of the commander-in-chief on its cover? Allegedly because the guy is the No. 1 reason to live in Hunkville. Obviously, sales never crossed its mind either. So it's four months old. It's not news.

The magazine photo above reminded us of the shirtless beach photo of the same guy from the year before. In case you forgot that one, we'll put it here below merely as a reminder. (Do not be tempted to click on the "Read more" line if it's not already showing.)

So, now that we've got that issue straight, while we await the next Maxim cover, we can move on to much more important business, like the bank stress tests and the percentage of TARP money that some of them want to return before the guy who doesn't wear a coat in the Oval Office fires their president too.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Spoiler Alert: Sunday's big Oscar winners listed right here right now

February 20, 2009 |  3:36 pm
An Oscar

One of the top newer political websites out there, another one that makes politics fun, is 538.com, run by the amazing Nate Silver.

Normally, it looks at the statistical side of politics which caused its reputation to soar recently by accurately predicting all of the Senate races up for grabs last Nov. 4.

So now Silver has gone out on a huge Hollywood limb to predict the winners for Sunday night's Oscar ceremonies. He says it's really rather easy. We'll see if he still says that come Monday.

Knowing the winners now will save you from watching Sunday though, of course, you will anyway if only to make catty remarks about some of the dresses that few of us can afford and the stars don't either they just wear them free as garment product placements as long as they promise to slip the designer's name in somewhere along the red carpet interviews that are so inane but we all watch anyway since we've tuned into C-SPAN's Senate coverage for practice. (WARNING: Stop reading now if you don't want to know the biggies.)

Nate's top picks:

Best Actor -- Mickey Rourke

Best Actress -- Kate Winslet

Best Supporting Actress -- Taraji Henson

Best Supporting Actor -- Heath Ledger

Best Director -- Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire"

Best Movie -- "Slumdog Millionaire"

Nate's got a whole lot more to say on the reasoning behind these choices over here.

Now, you can print this out and slip it into your pocket. Just in case you can't convince your partner to let you watch October game re-runs on the NFL Channel Sunday night, you can sit there all dismissive and looking bored. Then, just as those overpaid people in borrowed clothes reading their lines open the envelope in each category, check this list and simply say, "I think the winner is probably _______"

Boom! You'll be right every time. And she'll think you've been studying the LATimes.com Entertainment section to share the moment with her.

Assuming Nate's right, you can just nod knowingly when she punches your shoulder or drops her jaw in affectionate amazement. If you're wrong, you can say it doesn't really matter anyway; it's just the movies.

But based on his record, you'll be right every time. Next week you can click on Nate's website several times a day in online Oscar gratitude.

CAVEAT: She may also be steamed that you're so smugly taking away the stupid surprise.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photo credit: MPAAS


N.Y. Times blogger has sexual fantasy about President Obama

February 14, 2009 |  2:48 am

CAUTION: This item contains sexually explicit innuendo about illicit sex involving a New York Times blogger, and a number of her female friends, with the nation's new commander-in-chief, Barack Obama. These images will not surprise Sen. John McCain, who's going on 73, remember, but may be disturbing to other surviving Republicans and also maybe Mrs. Obama. Reader discretion is advised.

See, we suspected you were gonna continue reading. But it has come to The Ticket's attention that Judith Warner, who writes the Domestic Disturbances blog on another website not previously known for its strong sexual content, had a dream the other day:

She was going into the bathroom to shave her legs but Barack was already in there taking a shower and her husband Max began shouting, not because there was a naked Democrat in the married couple's bathroom with his wife, but because the nude president was smoking, which, as pretty much everyone except the new president seems to know, is not a healthy habit and is also, let's be frank here, hard to do in the shower.

Then Democrat Senator now President Barack Obama without a shirt striding confidently and strongly through the surf on the beach in Hawaii

So naturally Warner promptly e-mailed numerous friends and confirmed her widespread private suspicion that many other women are also having sexual fantasies these days about the ripped president and what they could do to/with him within/without the White House with/without a divorce involving their own husbands and/or Michelle Obama.

Warner also writes about one dream (from Connecticut, of course) involving luring Michelle away from the White House on an alleged play date for her daughters and doing something with a tuna fish sandwich which we're not even going to try sneaking by our editors, assuming some are left this morning.

It's really sad the sordid depths to which some financially troubled newspapers will allow their websites and blogs to sink in order to attract readers in these turbulent economic times. Really sad.

Anyway, Warner decided to write up these private dreams on her blog for the liberal N.Y. Times, which is in such dire financial straits that it recently had to lay off conservative columnist Bill Kristol.

The candid collected  Obama dreams got a few people talking.

And one thing led to another -- we've all seen how some people use sex to sell almost anything --and Fox's Sean Hannity got to talking with Bernie Goldberg, whose former CBS colleagues don't talk to him a lot anymore. It may not surprise you to learn that conservatives Sean and Bernie do not have sexual fantasies about President Obama.

But the pair do have this crazy notion -- call it a fantasy, if you like -- that a lot of people in the U.S. media are in love with Obama. No, not that way. But, you know, in the tank for him.

They claim to see all kinds of adulatory news coverage of the tall, dark, handsome, strong, intelligent, eloquent, loving father with the perfect teeth and grin, the well-endowed ears and the two darling little girls, who was raised by a devoted single mom and went to Harvard anyway and rejected lucrative law firm salaries to work so hard to improve the lives of poor South Side Chicagoans before overcoming immense odds to win state, federal and presidential elections to lead America into a new era of hope.

And it only cost $750 million.

And now, 25 days in office, the 44th president is already being compared to Abraham Lincoln. Although in his years Lincoln faced a few things like Civil War and Obama so far has cheered for the Pittsburgh Steelers and watched some Cabinet nominees quit.

In fact, Bernie has turned this obviously cockamamie media fantasy into a new book, "A Slobbering Love Affair," in which he's fairly critical of the media, which is to say downright denunciatory. Bernie was willing to talk candidly on television about his new book now available in stores. And as a member of the media himself, Sean was, well, pretty much in the tank for Bernie's book.

You can read Warner's appallingly provocative blog item here and watch Hannity and Goldberg discuss it/her here.

But if your reading experience lasts four hours or longer, you should consult a medical professional.

--Andrew Malcolm

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Photo credit: Associated Press



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