Late night jokes: Second recession coming, but when did the first one leave?
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Leno: Economists are now predicting a second recession. A second recession? When did the first one end? I missed that.
Fallon: President Obama asks foreign countries to invest more in the U.S. economy. Mexico’s president was like, ‘The people of Mexico are with you! Literally.'
Fallon: A new study finds that 10% of toddlers are overweight. That explains the most popular new stroller on the market, a wheelbarrow.
Fallon: A 92-year-old Florida woman marries an 82-year-old man she met on Match.com It's a cute story. But it turns out the woman lied on her profile. She said she was only 88.
Conan: A bus-sized meteor narrowly missed Earth the other day. In Los Angeles hearing this, people asked, 'What the hell is a bus?'
Fallon: New York's Gov. Cuomo calls a special election for Sept. 13 to fill Anthony Weiner’s House seat. He said, "Anyone interested in the job should email me @......well, maybe better just call."
Conan: The dog that inherited $12 million from Leona Helmsley has passed away. The pet died broke after smoking $12 million worth of dog crack.
Fallon: A Delta flight made an emergency landing in a Hawaii wildlife refuge. The lions were like, "Can you believe it?! Delta's ACTUALLY serving food!"
Fallon: A British strip club is using a hypnotist to get men to spend more money during their visits. At least that’s what one guy told his wife when she found his credit card bill.
-- Andrew Malcolm
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Photo: Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times (Two meteor-sized Los Angeles Metro buses vie for street position).