Birthers will not give up on Obama's birth certificate and the White House does everything to help them out
UPDATE: The president finally released his official birth certificate. The document, his full statement and our commentary is now posted over here.)
Because the question of Barack Hussein Obama's birth certificate and true nationality is such a sensitive and completely embarrassing issue for the Democratic president that just won't go away, the White House Tuesday talked it up again.
Our LATimes.com colleague quoted a White House spokesman as calling it a "settled issue."
Press Secretary Jay Carney, who claims to have been born in Washington on May 22, 1965, reportedly said:
I just think it's a distraction and it's an unfortunate distraction from the issues that I think most Americans care about.
Obama wishes the issue that makes proponents look goofy would go away so badly that he makes smiling references to it in speeches, in case anyone's forgotten.
In 2008, his campaign even gave The Ticket a copy of Obama's so-called birth certificate from Hawaii. We reproduce it here again today; click on the image to enlarge it for closer examination.
Readers will now flock in to eagerly point out that this is not actually....
The viewer-challenged cable news channel known as CNN wants to help the birther issue disappear so badly for the president of the United States that it devoted two evening chunks to examining every conceivable birther angle, except showing the actual birth certificate.
Hilarious presidential non-candidate Donald Trump, who has not run for president several times, thinks the arguments are so ridiculous that he brings up Obama's birth certificate often too, hoping it will prolong his time onstage merely by repetition. So far, that's worked beautifully.
Trump even produced his own birth certificate (Queens, N.Y., June 14, 1946) as proof that copies of such documents can be found and revealed to the public if you have nothing to hide, as Obama has not done.
The birth certificate issue has obvious political ramifications for the 2012 presidential election. If it could be proven that Obama is not a natural-born American citizen, then under the Constitution of the United States, he isn't president of said country.
And we can all forget every single thing the ex-state senator has done or said in these 827 long days that didn't really happen.
The empty promises about creating hundreds of thousands of new, meaningful jobs for Americans simply by spending our unborn grandchildren's income taxes will merely evaporate. All those interminable Obama healthcare town halls with their phony promises of more for less, poof. Gone! President Quixote's endless talk about the wonders of windmills, erased from our national consciousness.
If Obama isn't president, then gasoline prices will no longer be preparing to launch past $5 per gallon. The national debt of $14+ trillion would not be on the verge of soaring past the legal limit. And no one would be wondering why Obama will spend about half a million taxpayer dollars today flying the president's Air Force One to Chicago simply to tape an "Oprah" TV show.
If Obama was not president, Ron Paul would be unsuccessfully seeking the White House again. The Guantanamo Bay detention facility would still be open. We wouldn't have 100,000 sets of boots on the ground in Afghanistan. We wouldn't be bombing three Middle Eastern countries, instead of two.
And the Nobel Peace Prize winner would be freed from the indelible stain of hypocrisy for joining in the civil war of one Muslim country after finding fame and election success by castigating a previous president for doing the very same thing.
To see how politically lethal the birth certificate issue could be next year, just look back at 2008 when the Democratic primary campaign of someone called Hillary Clinton (Illinois, Oct. 26, 1947) brought it up.
Riding that burning issue propelled her all the way to a losing second-place finish.
By their puzzling refusal to prolong the Democrat's invisible birth certificate discussion, Michele Bachmann, John Boehner and now Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer have completely missed the political potential for Obama in continuing the birther debate to the exclusion of other far more significant issues that might actualy matter.
Thank goodness, Claire Shipman's husband is on White House spokesman duty to help if necessary. Or even if not necessary.
-- Andrew Malcolm (DOB N/A)
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Photo Illustration: Andrew Malcolm