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Detroit doomed! Can RoboCop save the city again?

February 9, 2011 |  3:16 am

RoboCop cleaning up Detroit

Detroit is racked by crime, corruption and a fleeing population. OCP, the company in charge of Motor City, turns to RoboCop, a cyborg created by scientists from the human remains of Alex Murphy, a slain patrolman. "Part man. Part machine. All cop."

SuperCop RoboCop does good things to bad guys by using amazing rapid-flashing weapons. "Come quietly or there will be trouble."

The 1987 MGM cult classic, set in the distant future of 1991 (and actually filmed in Dallas), was so violently uplifting and successful that they made another one three years later when Detroit needed even more help. "Excuse me. I have to go. Somewhere a crime is happening."

But now it's 20 years later and, guess what, Detroit is still in deep porridge.

So, naturally, who would that pathetic place turn to for help?Philadelphia's Rocky Balboa Statue

The new Mayor Dave Bing, formerly of the NBA, replaced the old mayor who had some, well, legal issues. Bing turned to the public for ideas on fixing up the place.

Someone suggested building a statue to the city's previous pretend savior.

Tourists would flock to Motown to see the law enforcement edifice and be in its powerful presence and have their picture taken standing next to a real statue of a fictitious cyborg patrolman who refused to give up. And they might conceivably think better of that urban Michigan place.

Just as, say, the iconic arms-up statue of the cinematic Rocky atop all those steps has caused many to associate Philadelphia with taking countless slow-motion blows to the head and overcoming adversity to not lose.

Well, Mayor Bing read the RoboCop idea.

And he considered the RoboCop idea.

And he killed the RoboCop idea.

BLAM! With the blast of a single Tweet @MayorDaveBing announced: "There are not any plans to erect a statue to RoboCop. Thank you for the suggestion."

What kind of crummy ending is that?

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photo: MGM (RoboCop 2); Associated Press (Rocky Balboa statue).