Advertisement

Opinion: Late-night joke collection: Betty White, Jerry Brown, Charlie Sheen and some change for President Obama

Share

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

As The Ticket’s 54,000 Twitter followers here and 6,300+ Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our pick of the late-night jokes of interest. Here’s collection No. 3:

Leno: So, wait, Jerry Brown is the new old California governor. Hawaii Five-O is a top show. And Betty White is hotter than ever. What year is this? 1976?

Advertisement

Fallon: Ah, N.Y. Marathon weekend. That time every autumn when New York City’s best runners get together to be crushed by some guy from Nigeria.

Letterman: Election day. Big day. Millions and millions of Americans take time off from their job to pretend to go vote.

Fallon: Final election poll says 55% will vote for Republicans, 40% Democrats. So, I guess Obama will finally get that ‘change’ he’s always talking about.

Fallon: Did everyone watch the election returns? Tough, tough night for Democrats. But a terrific night for Washington moving companies.

Fallon: Everyone still talking about the nation’s awful unemployment rate. This week it went up by about 65 Democrats.

Leno: So this weekend we turn the clocks back an hour. Don’t confuse that with last Tuesday when the Democrats got their clocks cleaned.

Advertisement

Leno: I see Charlie Sheen is getting divorced. That’s gotta be tough. I just hope he can adapt to life as a single guy.

Leno: I don’t want to say the Texas Rangers pitching was bad, but they let more people walk than LA juries.

Fallon: NYC considers setting up a harassment-free zone for women to avoid male onlookers. We already have one. Its called Pier 1.

Leno: Chicago researchers say sleeping more can help lose weight: ‘Honey, I’m not sleeping on the couch. I’ve been dieting all weekend.’

Related Items:

Late-night joke collection No. 2: Joe Biden, NPR, Osama bin Laden and Charlie

Late-night joke collection: No. 1

Advertisement

Top 10 weirdest moments of the 2010 election campaign

-- Andrew Malcolm

To get your daily dose of late-night jokes before broadcast, click here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or follow us @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We’re also available on Kindle now. Use the ReTweet buttons below to share this item with friends.

Advertisement