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Late-night joke collection: Betty White, Jerry Brown, Charlie Sheen and some change for President Obama

Seductive Betty White

As The Ticket's 54,000 Twitter followers here and 6,300+ Facebook fans here know, we regularly share our pick of the late-night jokes of interest. Here's collection No. 3:

Leno: So, wait, Jerry Brown is the new old California governor. Hawaii Five-O is a top show. And Betty White is hotter than ever. What year is this? 1976?

Fallon: Ah, N.Y. Marathon weekend. That time every autumn when New York City's best runners get together to be crushed by some guy from Nigeria.

Letterman: Election day. Big day. Millions and millions of Americans take time off from their job to pretend to go vote.
Democrat president Barack Obama before the midterm elections in 2010
Fallon: Final election poll says 55% will vote for Republicans, 40% Democrats. So, I guess Obama will finally get that ‘change’ he's always talking about.

Fallon: Did everyone watch the election returns? Tough, tough night for Democrats. But a terrific night for Washington moving companies.

Fallon: Everyone still talking about the nation's awful unemployment rate. This week it went up by about 65 Democrats.

Leno: So this weekend we turn the clocks back an hour. Don't confuse that with last Tuesday when the Democrats got their clocks cleaned.

Leno: I see Charlie Sheen is getting divorced. That's gotta be tough. I just hope he can adapt to life as a single guy.

Leno: I don't want to say the Texas Rangers pitching was bad, but they let more people walk than LA juries.

Fallon: NYC considers setting up a harassment-free zone for women to avoid male onlookers. We already have one. Its called Pier 1.

Leno: Chicago researchers say sleeping more can help lose weight: "Honey, I'm not sleeping on the couch. I've been dieting all weekend."

Related Items:

Late-night joke collection No. 2: Joe Biden, NPR, Osama bin Laden and Charlie

Late-night joke collection: No. 1

Top 10 weirdest moments of the 2010 election campaign

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photo: Genaro Molina / Los Angeles Times (White); Larry Downing / Reuters (Obama enjoys a pre-election laugh).

 
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Actually, the laugh is on the America people that GOP Party rewarded for "say anything and do anything", even if it's not true, but the American people will be left holding the bag!

Come on America, it is time to get off the "yellow-brick road" and realize that every time corporations and smaller businesses get tax breaks, guess where the taxes rise? Locally and at state levels. The cold-hearted fact is that Everyday, average Americans shoulder the tax burden in this country, due to tax loopholes, tax cuts and tax breaks for wealthy Americans and Corporations who do not need it. Why in the world would Wealthy Americans need more tax breaks when they pay very little taxes anyway, they need to pay their fair share and take the burden off those who can least afford it. These tax-cuts will cost the country $700 Billion, twice the cost of the Healthcare bill. Ironically, GOP hate to extend unemployment benefits to Americans who desperately need them, while violently fighting to extend tax cuts for the wealthy, who do not need them.

GOP mantra cut, cut, cut for the middleclass and poor and extend to military and wealthy. To create jobs, one must invest in America, her infa-structure, technology and innovation, but Party of No only wants to invest in the rich and well connected. On the otherhand, Pres. Obama in India, is on his way to creating 50 to 60 thousands jobs in America by brokering a $10 to 15 billion dollar contract with India. (A little unknown and unemphasized fact is that Pres. Obama has already created more jobs in 8 months than Pres. Bush did in 8 years!)

Another unemphasized fact in regards to Healthcare Reform, would be that the premiums one would pay would be a LOT LESS if it were to become universal. Through reform, prescription medicines are now going to be more affordable, and no one would be denied health coverage due to a pre-conceived condition...., these are just some of the facts. Come on people, we got to get Smarter and wiser here!

And, last but not Least, why in the world, would GOP want to elect a speaker, in John Boehner, who so publically and proudly campaigned for an Ohio Congressman who on the week-ends likes to dress up as a Nazi, a symbol for white supremacy. Has the GOP Congress sunk to a new low?

America it is time to take this country back from wealthy and big business!


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About the Columnist
A veteran foreign and national correspondent, Andrew Malcolm has served on the L.A. Times Editorial Board and was a Pulitzer finalist in 2004. He is the author of 10 nonfiction books and father of four. Read more.
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