Late-night joke collection starring Joe Biden, NPR, Osama bin Laden and Charlie the chimp
SNL: Fox News, on Thursday, hired news analyst Juan Williams just one day after National Public Radio fired him for making disparaging comments about Muslims. Marking the first time someone has been fired and hired for the same comment.
SNL: A man in China was freed by rescue workers after he dropped his cellphone in a toilet and got his arm stuck trying to get it out. Even worse, his wife and mistress met while waiting for him outside.
Letterman: Isn't America great? Here's this guy Rick Sanchez. A guy you've never heard of. And now, he's gone.
Fallon: The South African chimp Charlie who smoked cigarettes dies @ 52. You can probably guess what he died from –- he drove his little motorcycle off a cliff.
Letterman: An amazing thing. This morning I get up to let the dog out into the backyard. Guess what? President Obama is out there talking about the economy.
Leno: Linguists find a remote tribe in India with its own language understood by only 1,000 people. I believe the tribe is called Tech Support.
Letterman: So Donald Trump may be running for president? He refers to the White House as a 200-year-old tear-down.
SNL: In Washington, President Obama's recent speech to a women’s conference was interrupted when his presidential seal on the podium fell off -- two years early.
Letterman: So Forbes put out its list of most powerful women. You know who's No. 7? Flo, the Progressive Insurance lady.
Fallon: Huge news! Joe Biden says President Obama has already asked him to be his VP partner on the 2012 ticket. So has Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney and all the Republican candidates.
SNL: A new study finds that 85% of men report their latest sex partner had an orgasm. But the same study finds that only 64% of women report having an orgasm. The obvious lesson here is that women are really bad at noticing their own orgasm.
Letterman: So you probably heard the presidential seal fell off the podium during a recent Obama speech. Know what they found on the back? His birth certificate.
Late-night joke collection: No. 1
-- Andrew Malcolm
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Photo: Associated Press