Forget Groundhog Day! Feb. 2 = Marmot Day, thanks to Sarah Palin

The weirdest thing:

Every year at this very same time on this very same day the very same thing happens: Bill Murray and others talking about groundhogs, of all things. And Pennsylvania, of all places. And none of it has anything to do with Arlen Specter.

This year, however, for a refreshing change we can talk about marmots (See photos). All due to best-selling author Sarah Palin.

That's because thanks to her signature way back when she was a state governor, today is the nation's first official Marmot Day. At least in Alaska.

Try to control your excitement.

The Marmot Day legislation was actually introduced by fellow Wasilla Republican state Sen. Linda Menard. And, hey, since some places have state dinosaurs, what governor is gonna pick a fight over vetoing a bill about something as important as Marmot Day?

As silly as it might sound, a Marmot Day actually makes more sense than a Groundhog Day. Especially in Alaska, which doesn't have any sluggish groundhogs like Pennsylvania Phil or whatever his Chamber of Commerce name is in the Keystone State. Groundhogs have great February PR, but aren't tough enough for Alaska.

Like many Americans these days, marmots look obese, rather like a plus-size ground squirrel after Thanksgiving dinner.

Except marmots are vegans.

Yes, they are rodents. But funny, playful ones, whether city folks believe it or not.

Marmots favor the mountains and rocky mountainsides for their burrows.

Most of them are actually asleep now, which is a wise thing to be at this time of year in eagle country if you are brown and everything else is white.

Next summer, though, if you're hiking or fishing in such areas, just sit down and quietly paws for an hour. Chances are a band of curious marmots will bounce onto the scene like a boisterous, circus troupe of tiny Italian gymnasts.

They chatter, chuckle and whistle, as if hailing a cab in the woods. Some people swear the marmots work mountain paths and passing hikers like teams of urban pickpockets on crowded city sidewalks.

While a couple of the furry comedians distract the humans with a hilariously entertaining show of dancing and rodent wrestling, their unseen partner sneaks up from behind to filch any unattended chips or sandwiches. Some particularly brazen marmots even forage uninvited in idle backpacks to see if they can help lighten the load at all.

But if a human has nothing edible to offer, voluntarily or otherwise, be prepared for a vociferous team scolding.

See, you never know what you might find on The Ticket.

No, this doesn't have much to do politics. Well, except for the entertainment part.

And the filching.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photos: Getty Images

Comments

[moi]

"groundhogs like Pennsylvania Phil or whatever his Chamber of Commerce name is in the Keystone State."
Aw, don't diss the little dude! His name is Punxsutawney Phil!

[Levinson Axelrod]

Happy Groundhog day everyone!

[You thought Jimmy Carter was bad!]

Marmotte is the french word for ground hog and was used by Ms. Ménard who,s ancesters came from french Québec.contrary to ground hogs who do not
dig very deep,Arlen Specter got himself in the dem hole and will keep on digging until he emerges in China.

[CA School System?]

Next summer, though, if you're hiking or fishing in such areas, just sit down and quietly paws for an hour.

Should I paw at the ground for an hour or should I paw at the nearest tree?

I assume 'pause' is the correct word here, however, perhaps this is just really creative writing. Perhaps Mr. Malcolm has gone Jane Goodall with the marmots?

[kelly r.]

Marmots are not vegans. When we used to go backpacking in the Sierras, we used to run into them in the higher elevations. They love smoked oysters, straight from the can!

[Jolie]

Let's see, what do I think of Sarah Palin?: Media whore, quitter, stupid, diva, over-rated, self-serving, self-righteous, bigot, hypocritical... But republicans love her because she's one of them. Now I get it.

[Taggart]

Marmots are groundhogs. We just call them by a different name out West.

[Jerry Malone]

Another Palin puff piece from right-wing Andrew Malcolm.

[R.I.P. GOP]

OOOH! a perfect gotcha question for Sarah that would most likely render her stupified and deer in headlight poised. Who is Linda Menard and what did she do for Marmots?

[Sapwolf]

Thanks Sarah.

I saw my first marmot pop out of a tree trunk just off a trail at Sequoia National Park. I only knew it was one because I later noticed it on a bulletin in the park with a picture of one.

[Daniel Ratgeber]

jajajajajaja and then seems to have nothing more productive to do?

[Lee B.]

I'm writing a children's book about a marmot, who, after hearing this announcement, started demanding pampering and foot massages. Haven't even published yet. See what columns like this can lead to? ;-)

( :-) back at ya!)

[Dave]

The groundhog is actually a subspecies of the Marmot, so Alaska got it right. Happy Marmot Day everyone!

[HC, Texas]

The real issue is, can marmots be hunted from helicopters?

[bigjobsboard]

Actually, it's very nice to know there are these people who really loves animals and I am one of them. Marmots are deserving to be remembered, and celebrate even just one day with them. Thanks to Sarah.

[Fahrusha]

Groundhogs ARE marmots!