Sarah Palin speech: The view's better from inside the bus than under it (Updated with text)

(UPDATE: The full text of the Palin Gridiron speech has been added below.)

The lines began forming Saturday morning outside the Sioux Falls Barnes & Noble bookstore, fully 35 hours before former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was to arrive there to sign her new book, "Going Rogue."

But the mother of five was far from South Dakota tonight. In fact, she was only about a half-dozen blocks from the White House that she didn't help John McCain win.

Palin appeared in a brand-new role for the possible 2012 Republican presidential candidate -- joke-teller as the GOP's representative at the annual winter Gridiron Dinner, a 124-year-old group of Washington writers and guests who hold such regular opportunities for political writers to mingle with the power people who really matter.

Speakers there -- past ones have included someone named Barack Obama -- are intentionally funny -- or trying to be, anyway -- and usually off the record.

But an exception allowing news coverage was made tonight given the intense interest in Palin, who attracted about twice the usual dinner crowd.

And she appeared to succeed better than her Democratic counterpart, Rep. Barney Frank. It was a refreshingly different look at Palin, who's more often quoted as a media scold and harsh critic of what's-his-name in the White House.

Palin, whose intelligence has been widely challenged by many in her audience, said she....

...was pleased to appear before an elite audience of intellectual heavyweights: "Or as I like to call it, a death panel."

If the 2008 presidential election had turned out differently, Palin deadpanned, "I could be the one overseeing the signing of bailout checks and Vice President Biden could be on the road selling his book, 'Going Rogaine.'"

Yup, she really said that about the nation's highest-ranking user of hairplugs.

Palin recounted that she was looking at a magazine cover of Obama and Chinese president Hu Jintao during a recent airplane flight. According to Palin, a nearby passenger said, "Hu's the Communist."

Pause.

"I thought he was asking a question."

Palin will resume her book promotion bus tour tomorrow, but first she said, "The view is so much better from inside the bus than under it."

Palin revealed she actually considered a different title for her best-selling book: "How to Look Like a Million Bucks for Only $150,000."

She also took a shot at John McCain's former campaign manager, who's taken his shots at her. "If I need a bald campaign manager," she quipped, "I guess I'm left with James Carville."

Palin also noted that as she walked to the banquet hall from her hotel room "I could see the Russian Embassy."

Frank, on the other hand, was on the other hand.

He made fun of the new social media tool Twitter and especially a fellow Democratic colleague famous for her frequent use of the communications tool with constituents. "Maybe I lack intellectual curiosity," Frank said, "but I'm not that interested in what Claire McCaskill has for lunch."

-- Andrew Malcolm

Speaking of politics, click here to receive Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item every day. Or follow us @latimestot. And we're also over here on Facebook. And our Facebook Fan page is here.

Text of Remarks by ex-Gov. Sarah Palin to the Gridiron Club, Dec. 5, 2009:

Good evening. It’s great to be in Washington and I am loving the weather.

I braved the elements and went out for a jog! Or, as Newsweek calls it, a cover-shoot.

It’s a privilege to be here tonight at the Washington DC Barnes & Noble. Tonight, I'll be reading excerpts from my new book. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? “Going Rogue”

Yukon wasn’t sure if I’d go with that title and somebody suggested I follow the East Coast selfhelp trend and go with, “How To Look Like A Million Bucks…For Only 150 Grand.”

Todd liked, “The Audacity of North Slope.”

Hey, I considered not having a title at all.

I’ve said it before, but you Beltway types just don’t seem to get it. You don’t need a title to make an impact. But anyway, let’s get started. I’ll begin my first reading on Page 209.

It was pitch black when we touched down in Arizona late on August 27, 2008. The next morning we drove to John McCain’s ranch in Sedona. John was waiting on the porch. Before he can say a word, I tell him, I'm quoting now:

I know why I’m here, and I’m ready. But, I'm worried. The cost of credit protection for the largest U.S. banks is rising precipitously. Have you given any thought to the run on the entities in the parallel banking system? Do you realize the vulnerability created when these institutions borrow short term in liquid markets to invest long
term in illiquid assets?

John said, “You betcha!”

I thought, “You betcha?”

Who talks that way?

Well, sometimes you just have to trust your instincts. When you don’t, you end up in places like this.

Who would have guessed that I’d be palling around with this group? At least now I can put a face to all the newspapers I read.

It is good to be here and in front of this audience of leading journalists and intellectuals. Or, as I call it, a death panel.

To be honest, I had some serious reservations about coming to visit your cozy little club. The Gridiron still hasn’t offered membership to anyone from my hometown paper in Wasilla, the Matanuska-Susitna Valley Frontiersman.

And my dad thought it was just a plain bad idea to leave the book tour for some football game. He might have a point!

I’ve been touring this great, great land of ours over the last few weeks. I have to say, the view is much better from inside the bus, than under it!

But really, I am thrilled to be with you. And I’d like to thank the Gridiron for the invitation and Dick Cooper for his introduction.

To paraphrase John F. Kennedy, this has to be the most extraordinary collection of people who have gathered to viciously attack me since the last corporate gathering at CBS.

Despite what you have read, or more likely, despite what you have written, I do feel a real bond with all of you. I studied journalism, earned a communications degree and for a time only wanted to be a journalist. I was even a television sportscaster back home.

I’m guessing some of you probably got your start the exact same way… once there was television.

Let me get back to the book. I know that many of you are still upset because I wouldn’t play that silly Washington game. You know, the one where all of you read a book in its entirety, from the first page of the index to the last.

But think about it, because you actually had to read the whole book in the vein hope of finding your name, you now know all about Denali, mom, dad, ungulate eyeballs, slaying salmon on the Nushagak and Ugashik near Alegnigak, where we make AGOOTAK and moose chili! You’re welcome.

Still, I want to do something very special for this audience of Washington elite. So, I’ll read from the index--which I chose not to include in the hardback. Would you believe me if I said I didn’t include it because we wanted to save trees?

Under A we have…

Alaska, media not understanding. Pages 1-432.

Under B…

Biased media. Pages 1-432

And under C…

Conservative media. See acknowledgments.

I’ll stop there.

I know this can be a long night, and as I understand it, we’re going to break with a Gridiron tradition. Normally, the Democrat speaker would deliver a speech after me. But instead, John McCain’s campaign staff asked if they could use that time for a rebuttal.

A lot has been made of a few campaign relationships. The closeness. The warm fuzzy feelings. John and I both agree all those staffers should just move past it. It’s history.

Let’s just say, if I ever need a bald campaign manager, it appears all I’m left with is James Carville.

I don’t want to say that I’ve burned a bridge, but I know all about cancelling a bridge to nowhere.

That Democrat speaker I referred to is, of course, the one-and-only Barney Frank.

And I’m the controversial one?

Barney, the nation owes you and the government a debt. A huge, historic, unbelievable debt. But, it’s good to be here with you, Mr. Chairman.

Because by Chairman, I don’t just mean the House Financial Services Committee. As far as I can tell, Barney’s also the Chair of AIG, CITI, and the Bank of America.

I don’t want to say that the U.S. Government is taking over the role of the private sector, but I have to admit, on the flight here, thumbing through a magazine and looking at a photo of President Obama with the President of China, the person next to me pointed at it and said, “Hu’s a communist.”

I thought they were asking a question.

Still, when I see this administration in action, I can’t help think of what might have been. I could be the Vice President overseeing the signing of bailout checks. And Joe Biden would be on the road, selling his new book, "Going Rogaine."

Speaking of books….

Did I mention mine? “Going Rogue”

Makes a great stocking stuffer. Available now at a bookstore near you.

Hey, I have to pay for my campaign vetting bill somehow.

Really, the response has been great. So I’ll close by reading a final passage. Page 403:

I’ve been asked a lot lately, “Where are you going next?’

Good question!

Wherever I go I know that, as with anyone in the public eye, I’ll continue to have my share of disagreements with those in the media. Maybe even more than my share. It will come as no surprise that I don’t think I was always treated fairly, or equally.

But despite that, I respect the media very much. It’s important. A free press allows for vigorous debate! And that debate is absolutely vital for our democracy.

So as hard as it can sometimes be, we must all look past personal grievances. We must move beyond petty politics. And we must allow these incredibly talented and hard-working women and men to ask the hard questions and hold us, and our government, accountable.

Because their mission is as true as the sun rising over the Talkeetna and Susitna Mountains. OK – so none of that is actually in the book. Not a word. But I do believe it!

And I believe we live in a beautiful country blessed with so many different people who want the best for their children, families and for our great nation. I’m so proud to be an American.

And that is what I’ll be talking about when I travel to, really where I’m headed. No better place than here to announce where I’m going. I’m going to Iowa!

I’ll be there tomorrow from noon to 3:00 pm at the Barnes & Noble on Sergeant Road in Sioux City. Come early. Long lines are expected.

Thank you everyone. God Bless the U.S.A!    ###

Photo: Paul Richards / AFP

Comments

[tnhll]

John McCain's campaign made a serious mistake when they insisted on overseeing Sarah Palin's speeches. They kept her from delivering plain talk to the American people. She was forced to give less than exciting John McCain speeches, who was not the Republican ticket member people wanted to hear. And it cost him dearly.

If I have a complaint with Palin it is that she should have told certain members of the Vice Presidential campaign staff to get lost. What an arrogant bunch of jerks. In the end, these staff proved they were failures, while Sarah Palin continues to capture the hearts and minds of people.

[sophie]

Why is she wearing Castro's hat? All that's missing is the red star... lol.

[sophie]

And PR / image flack has convinced her to take all the criticisms and roll with it. Only Sarah Palin could make Sarah Palin jokes not funny. At all. She needs to find new material. Nothing you've quoted above is remotely laugh worthy.

[filc]

Let Sarah Palin be. She's an idiot and a threat to the future of our country.

[TheBigPicture]

Sophie, your comments don't hurt Palin. I keep coming back to the Newsweek magazine cover analogy to "The Sound of Music". Mother superior did ask the question "How do you solve a problem like Maria." However, Maria evolved to fix a dysfunctional family and save it from evil. Newsweek may have unwittingly written America's FlashForward.

[Jay]

Yeah, let Sarah be Sarah! You know the majority of the country is just as crazy as she is, right? Right?

[Steve]

As with most such articles about a politician's supposed sense of humor the journalist does not bother to wonder who actually wrote the jokes. Maybe Palin. Maybe someone else (as with her book). She should get credit for willing to poke some fun at herself, but not necessarily for being funny. As with Leno and Letterman, folks behind the scenes write most of the stuff.

[Michael]

I can't even see why the dumb tea-baggers find her attractive. With her politics, shes ugly inside and out.

[Frieda]

wow! she is GORGEOUS!!

and she has a lot of GUTS to show up among her harshest critics...has Obama done anything like that?? well, no, because media loooooves Obama and he has never gone through the scrutiny as Palin has....

lets give her credit when credit is due!!!

[In Dependent]

The poor SOB that had to use the microphone after that blithering, blabbering spittle slurping Barney Frank was done. YUCK!!!

[Yolando]

John McCain's staff are and were snobs when it came to Sarah Palin. Let Sarah be Sarah and she will deliver. I can relate to an every day woman instead of an over educated lawyer who attended an Ivy League college. http://www.everywaywoman.com

[steve1]

Wow sophie, you need to seek psychiatric help.
You are obsessed with denigrating a powerful, smart, and a real leader.
Your messiah, Obozo, is looking more like a dunce everyday and PDS suffers like you sound more like escapees from an insane asylum.

[Cottage Industry]

It really tickles me how afraid the left is of Palin. If they really thought she was so incompetent, they would do well to just leave her alone to self-destruct. Instead they criticize her at every turn. When lacking in any substantial rebuttal, they point out her hat, her coloquial delivery, etc, etc, etc. Every attack on her just raises her status.

No, the real comical ones here are the liberals.

[Judy Strickland]

I have to disagree with Sophie - I thought Sarah's comments were very funny. Humor is subjective, kinda like beauty.

[Rosemary]

Great pic, Paul! Surprisingly, not a bad article. The only point of contention I might have with it is that because she was on the ticket, Obama didn't win by a landslide! Man, how did he get nominated?

[Rosemary]

Pardon me, I meant how did McCain nominated.

[Ranjit]

I think, that was a nice self depreciating humor. I do get a feeling that, she is slowly and steadily changing people's mind. Slowly, if she can give some major speeches and policies, she will improve her image. She was not some politician's daughter or wife. She has earned everything by herself and that needs lot of courage and atleast some intelligence.

[Bert]

Poor Sophie, you are a bitter resentful, hate filled brain dead leftist ! But your in good company in the Marxist DNC . Palin will be the next President and the Marxist in the White House will be in exile with his pals Hugo and Fidel.

[Insurrextion]

She is drop dead gorgeous...

[morninmist]

Dear Sophie.

You left your sense of humor in the mud--where most Obot fans are.

[chuckles]

I will vote for Palin if given the chance. She has more sense than anyone in the Obamau administration. The problem now is we have to survive for 4 years of this communist coup. I'm sick of the Muslim terrorist loving, anti American, baby killer, climate lying, flag burning, Constitution hating, lobbyist loving, Mau loving, job killing, never had a real job, never saw a tax I didn't love, commies, that are in charge now.
Sarah would be a refreshing change from the idiots in the Beltway Mafia.

[sybilll]

Obama is a politician, not a leader, Sarah is not a politician, she is a leader. And, my gosh, she is stunning.

[Aging American]

Palin: Honest, refreshing, squeaky clean, real, patriotic, morals/values, down to earth American - doesn't have a corrupt bone in her body - truly wants whats best, right, fair and just for each and every American....however, this doesn't fit the mold of Washington, which is the exact opposite. Yet, she has the guts to come out and defy the corrupt ones - call a liar a liar - a thief a thief - an anti-American an anti-American - she speaks truths that all Americans already know. We hate the path our government is on - what its become -we hate how it's run, how it's done. We need more, a lot more Palin's. That's what the Palin passions about. She's not ready for the White House. But, she's putting the country on the right course. Time to get back to the basics of government, reduce its size and clean up the corrupt monsters running our country - time to remind them who they serve. The peoples' voice must be once again the ruler of America. That's what Palin represents.

[Brian Tyrrell]

Let Sarah Palin speak - I can't wait to see her run again. A dream come true for the Democrats!!!

[Richard]

I am a Democrat who voted for Obama, but who really wish Hillary got the nomination. While I don't agree with the ex-gov from Alaska, I have always found Palin intriguing. Reading these jokes made me laugh a lot. I am impressed with how she handled her appearance at the Gridiron, and it makes me nervous about her chances in 2012 (they might be better than I realized).

[mike]

I liked Sarah, then she just became another quitter.

She only cares about making money, not America.

[rick]

Ladies and Gentelmen and member of the media,
I present to you THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES - SARAH PALIN!

DEAL WITH IT!

[Texas Firefighter]

Palin/Bachman 2012!!! Two beautiful intelligent women who have more balls than ALL Democratic men combined. Rural Americans, soccer/hockey moms, conservatives, independents, and "real" men will make the next presidential election a landslide. Obama will not be allowed to use illegal campaign contributions from foreign sources or ACORN fraudulent votes again. There won't be enough east and west coast "real" teabaggers or liberals to stop this train (not trainwreck). The groundswell builds amount us Americans that are sick of the way our country is headed. With Obama and his marxist czars using fraud and scare tactics to try to enact legislation; he's going to be a one-termer like his clone Jimmy Carter.

[Wade]

Thanks a whole lot McCain...thanks...

[Joe]

What a class act she is. Never in our history has a woman been so publicly mauled by a political machine, but shes tough. What scares people about her? (1) Shes plain-spoken and slightly charismatic in a manner that reminds people of Reagan. (For hardcore leftists... this is VERY BAD NEWS.) (2) She stands for our Republic form of government, as established by the Constitution as a government with LIMITED powers, all other powers reserved to the States. (BAD NEWS AGAIN) .. So, therefore, "progressives" have concluded, correctly, that she must be denigrated and destroyed at every opportunity, with whatever legal means are available, including posting hateful replies as you can read right here. Go ahead. Tear her down, and don't build her up. But it won't work. The tide of opinion has turned. People are sick of the Communist doctrine and this "baloney sandwich" economy that "progressives" want us to get used to. Its OVER. In 2012 we begin to repair the damage.

[Gene Man]

It is clear to everyone but the elites (and wannabe elites) that what they hate about her is what we love about Sarah Palin.

We need someone who loves America and hates corruption, and Sarah is the only one on the scene that seems to fill that bill.

That is why she is essentially tied in the polls with Obama, while she's going up, and he's going down.

Another article appearing today points out how much money and marketing was spent to creat an image of Tiger, a good golfer but nothing else, and how quickly he has fallen. This must be scaring the White House to death. Obama is not even a good golfer, just a marketing creation whose background has been carefully hidden. When the hidden dirt comes out on Obama, he'll plummet even faster.

[Steveinsky]

I am not a liberal, I voted for McCain despite Palin.

...I don't like her because she stands for nothing but "good-old-fashioned-folsky-Americans" and is associated with no major policy issue, other than how "families" are so important. She has little to no substance. She sides with "birth certificate" fools and actually recognizes it as a legitimate issue. Folks, Bush thought she was a nobody. When she was announced, I thought, cool a woman VP candidate. Then she opened her mouth for a few weeks. After that, I vowed never to vote for anyone who says "you betcha" or "gosh-darn it..." ever again.

[Rick Shaffer]

Sarah, you are such a breath of fresh air. No wonder so many libs hate you. You threaten their "system". They can't function under scrutiny. Go get 'em, girl.

[Malinda]

Former Governor Sarah Palin has a great sense of humor and has an excellent natural skill in its application to political satire.

As one writer noted the Democrats are already using Sarah to raise funds much as the Republicans used Ted Kennedy to raise funds after the death of Mary Jo.

Sarah Palin has a genuine authenticity that is refreshing in American politics.

She is an intelligent woman with significant experience in politics in America.

Was Sarah Palin's announcing going to Iowa at the end of her speech a signal that she may run for President or Vice President of the USA? Is it possible that the first woman President will be an Independent and Republican?

[Phil Krone]

This is a person not to be underestimated. I'd like to meet the genius who wrote the speech, but Sarah Palin delivered it. They became her words. She knew what she was doing.

[cj]

Not funny. Sad, and utterly predictable. No real substance of any kind there.

Sarah is very charismatic; if that in itself makes a good leader then so be it. If all you are looking for is charisma in a leader that you identify with yourself, then you get what you deserve...though I can't say the rest of us deserve that.

Being attractive...well, it seems that is more a factor for the white conservative males salivating over her.,,,as a white female it is disgusting to me in the extreme to see you all fawning over her. When you think she seriously might have a chance in national politics...you are ignoring the likelihood that many of your wives and girlfriends are going to block you, as she tends to be extremely insulting to the intelligence of the rest of us. So to me, charisma alone doesn't seem to be an advantageous characteristic for a leader excepting in the sense that it encourages some to follow her emotionalisms and empty talking points blindly.

My bigger issues, though, have to do with the fact that Sarah is blatantly narcissistic...while being scathingly sarcastic to those that disagree with her....when THEY score points...she feels persecuted...but when she scores points...it's a whole 'nother ballgame. The last thing we need in the White House making major and foreign policy is a diva who is likely to have quite a few hormonal days when the whole world is being mean to her.

Her constant and ever present sarcasm, is ultimately deeply divisive as a political tactic, though obviously attractive to some of you, is deeply offputting to the rest of us.
'

[cj]

Sarah is the traditional female bully. You guys like her, you don't see what some of US see. Women can be intensely competitive with one another; but only a few are overtly so...manipulation is the most effective with other women...those that learn sarcasm and how to make you feel 'not part of the group' are the best at creating cliques to establish their own power. It has nothing to do with the good of the whole.

You guys see this 'honest plainspeaking person' and we see this manipulative sarcastic pretty female that is used to getting what she wants...and ooooooohhhh is so being picked on and mistreated when she doesn't...you guys are too dumb to realize that you're being had.