Opinion: Al Gore (rhymes with bore) invents a poem about global climate warming change

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Al Gore lost the 2000 presidential election.

Barack Obama lost the 2016 Olympics bid.

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Now it seems Al Gore is going for the Nobel Prize in literature.

He’s written a powerfully apocalyptic poem about global warming:

It’s so depressing (in fact, don’t watch this video down below if you can help it) that the losing ...

... presidential candidate didn’t include it in his upcoming new ...

... book looking toward the environmental future -- if indeed there is one after the carbon footprints in the sky of all the private jets flying into and out of Copenhagen for the U.N. climate change conference and the millions of words being uttered there.

Conan O’Brien suggested the other late-night that Danish police broadcast Al Gore speeches over loudspeakers to sedate crowds of violent eco-protesters. That’s probably untrue.

But Gore says his new poem is essentially the condensation of a 28-page chapter he also didn’t include in the book, due out next year -- if indeed there is a next year.

Despite fears of contributing to global gloom just before the holidays -- if indeed there are any holidays this year -- we are hesitantly publishing the entire poem below, with a hat tip to Amanda Sterling. Warning: Do not read it alone.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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by Al Gore

One thin September soon
a floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune’s bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning’s celebration

Unknown creatures
Take their leave, unmourned
Horsemen ready their stirrups

Passion seeks heroes and friends
The bell of the city
On the hill is rung

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

[For the Record, added at 7:01 a.m.: A previous version of this post stated that Al Gore won an Oscar. He did not, but ‘An Inconvenient Truth,’ a film featuring his climate-change message, did.]