Al Gore (rhymes with bore) invents a poem about global climate warming change [Updated]

This updated post corrects an earlier version.

Al Gore lost the 2000 presidential election.

Barack Obama lost the 2016 Olympics bid.

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Now it seems Al Gore is going for the Nobel Prize in literature.

He's written a powerfully apocalyptic poem about global warming:

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune's bones dissolve ...

It's so depressing (in fact, don't watch this video down below if you can help it) that the losing ...

... presidential candidate didn't include it in his upcoming new ...

... book looking toward the environmental future -- if indeed there is one after the carbon footprints in the sky of all the private jets flying into and out of Copenhagen for the U.N. climate change conference and the millions of words being uttered there.

Conan O'Brien suggested the other late-night that Danish police broadcast Al Gore speeches over loudspeakers to sedate crowds of violent eco-protesters. That's probably untrue.

But Gore says his new poem is essentially the condensation of a 28-page chapter he also didn't include in the book, due out next year -- if indeed there is a next year.

Despite fears of contributing to global gloom just before the holidays -- if indeed there are any holidays this year -- we are hesitantly publishing the entire poem below, with a hat tip to Amanda Sterling. Warning: Do not read it alone.

-- Andrew Malcolm

Roses are red, violets are blue, Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item are waiting here for you. Or follow us @latimestot. We're also over here on Facebook. And our new Facebook fan page is here.

by Al Gore

One thin September soon
a floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune's bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning's celebration

Unknown creatures
Take their leave, unmourned
Horsemen ready their stirrups

Passion seeks heroes and friends
The bell of the city
On the hill is rung

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

[For the Record, added at 7:01 a.m.: A previous version of this post stated that Al Gore won an Oscar. He did not, but "An Inconvenient Truth," a film featuring his climate-change message, did.]

Photo credit: Getty Images

Comments

[derekcrane]

This "poem" is a sign of a sad, demented man. The men in the white coats carrying nets are not far behind.

[Robbins Mitchell]

You want poetry?...I'll give you poetry...

Al was bowing down to Buddha,
Like a hungry barracuda,
And got $50,000 from the Chinks,
He should drop this 'global warming',
And address what does the harming,
'cause Tipper's dirty pussy really stinks!

[Levinson-Axelrod]

I'm really impressed that Al Gore writes poems. Way to go buddy.

[Terry]

Hey Malcolm, do you remember when you tried to be subtle about your partisanship but the conservatives would still go off on you for attacking Palin? Haha, what an awesome group of people.

[Corey Stephen. Chupik]

if c02 is flammable should we not be able to burn some of it out of the atmosphere and measure how much is burned to keep from burning too much/

[Eric Bressler]

Andrew,
Grow the eff up. Seriously.
Thanks. Eric.

[Corey Stephen. Chupik]

or if we don't want to put more c02 in the atmosphere put something up there that will absorb the c02 then bring it back to the ground ,put it in a container of some sort then burn the c02 in it.

[JD]

That...is a truly...remarkable...poem.

Oceans are blue, thermometers red,
With poetry like Al's,
We're better off dead.

[Katherine]

This is altogether beyond parody. Should come with a warning label: "After reading, pour a stiff drink and enjoy a medley of youtube offerings by the Minnesotans for Global Warming. You will feel much better."

[Flu-Bird]

I see where al and tippler have devorced i guess she couldnt take anymore of his mindless rantings about global warming and was spending more time polishing his two undeserved awards then he was spending with her and now al can marry his true love interests GAIA

[Spurwing Plover]

A MAN BY THE NAME OF AL GORE,HES NOTHING BUT A BIG BORE,HIS MIND TOO FAR GONE,CANT SING A GOOD SONG,AND ENDED UP BEING SHOWN THE DOOR

[Jub Jub Bird]

ROSES AND RED,VIOLETS ARE BLUE,ALBERT GORE, WANTS TAXES FROM YOU