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Five things you could do in the time it would take to read the Senate's healthcare bill

The latest version of the healthcare bill may have to be airlifted from the Senate floor. It weighs in at a whopping 2,074 pages.

The House's version was certainly large at 1,990 pages, but this new one adds some hefty love handles. The table of contents alone takes up 14 pages.

As Politico noted, it could take as much as 48 hours, by some accounts, for someone to read the bill in its entirety.

That got us thinking. What else could these politicians be doing in the time it would take to read this cinder block of legislation -- because we know each and every one of them will read every last word of it, right?

5. Watch the last three seasons of "ER": For some perspective on what it's like to work in healthcare (or what it's like to be an actor on a series that wouldn't die), you could watch the last few seasons of "ER." You may be the first person ever to do so.

4. Take a motorboat from Alaska to Russia: Sarah Palin may be able to see Russia from her window (but probably not). However, it'll take about two full days to get there with a top-of-the-line motorboat. Trips like these make us wish for offshore drilling so we can make a pit stop along the way.

3. Read the Bible one and a half times: This one depends on your version of the Bible, but many prints are in the neighborhood of 1,200 pages -- that includes both the Old and New Testaments.

2. Accrue enough radio experience to host a national talk show: In Glenn Beck's "The Real America," a 2005 book by the political pundit, he writes, "After doing a total of maybe 40 hours of talk radio, I was asked to host a national show."

1. Watch 12 episodes of "Glenn Beck," 21 episodes of "The O'Reilly Factor" and a full week's worth of "The Rush Limbaugh Show:" That prescription of nonstop ranting should ensure you will vehemently hate the healthcare bill without ever reading a word of it.

-- Mark Milian

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Photo: The House version of the healthcare bill on display this month, courtesy of Republican Reps. Peter Hoekstra of Michigan, left, and Steve King of Iowa. Credit: Associated Press

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Joe and Barrack can complicate everything!!!!
Global warming= no oil or energy!
Global warming= no jobs, the economy suffers!!!

I still can't stop laughing.

Re: #4 Tina Fey might be able to see Russia from Sarah Palin's window, but Ms. Palin never made that claim. Why would you continue to perpetuate a SNL sketch "quote" that is over a year old and isn't even real? Get over Palin already!

At least Mark took the time to add the source for his factoid on Glenn Beck. I wonder why he did not do the same for the Sarah Palin dig? I know because he can't. What a cheap shot to keep attributing Tina Fey's joke to Sarah Palin. Isn't the LATimes supposed to be in the 'truth' business? This is another example of why the public trust of news outlets continues to drop. If I can identify these blatant errors [or is that just a cheap partisan dig - same difference in this case], how many more are there?

Is there anyone that does not know the 1100 page complicated medical reform bill was necessary because the Republicans and a few Democrats forced the congressional leadership to keep making changes in order to get it to the floor.
The Republicans were the cause of the current depression and then they pretend they are angry with the Democrats for not fixing it.
My favorite view of the modern day Republicans (compared to Teddy Roosevelt up to Goldwater) is they are the few in the life boat after the ship sunk and they do not want to share water nor food.


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About the Columnist
A veteran foreign and national correspondent, Andrew Malcolm has served on the L.A. Times Editorial Board and was a Pulitzer finalist in 2004. He is the author of 10 nonfiction books and father of four. Read more.
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