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Sarah Palin was not on Oprah's Tuesday show after all

November 18, 2009 |  6:10 am

So there we were in our slippers, sweatshirt and jeans, wide awake all perky-like, notebook at the ready, prepared to take down most every revealing word that former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was going to tell Oprah on her TV show Tuesday.

There had been so very much hype about the Republican pitbull from Alaska finally confronting the most famous backer of Democrat Barack Obama on national television for a thoughtful, woman-to-woman discussion of her new book, what it meant for the future of American politics and what it was really like as a female wearing lipstick inside the doomed McCain presidential campaign run by a bunch of chain-smoking white guys.

First of all, we noticed Oprah's guest had ditched those famous modish eyeglasses. Her hair was blonde this year. But these things can change often with women and professional wrestlers.

Oprah Jenna Jameson 11-17-09

Oprah's guest clearly rejected the idea of wearing a confining pantsuit in public. Her short skirt went right up there around Nebraska. The hair hung down to the Dakotas. And Oprah's questioning seemed a little off-target too for a political interview.

The two women got along well, though. Then, they hit on some puzzlingly explicit topics that you don't normally hear much of in interviews of unindicted politicians.

The guest had written a book a while back called "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star," which wasn't exactly the title we had expected based on the advance publicity for the former Republican VP candidate.

The guest said women are actually her biggest fans and come up to her all the time, saying things like, "Thank you so much. You taught me how to give my husband _______.  And he really loves it."

Well, as you may have guessed by now, it turns out that Oprah's guest Tuesday wasn't Sarah Palin after all. Sarah Palin was on Monday, as the week's warmup guest for some actress named Jenna Jameson, whom, quite frankly, Hon, we had never heard of, being as totally focused on politics as we are all day every day.

Apparently Jameson has made more than 100 movies of one kind or another, mostly another. And most of them with her ex-husband which, she said, was somehow safer and allowed the love to show through.

So it sounds like she made those romantic chick flicks.

But, between us, Jameson can't have been too successful financially because the actress could only afford to buy a dress with one shoulder for the show.

The two women had a long conversation and went on about the sex industry for some reason. Oprah posted more details on the show on her website here.

Of course, we had to watch the whole thing just in case Palin popped out from behind the curtain or something. You never know, you know. And politics bloggers can't ever miss any interesting human detail. Alas, Palin never appeared on Tuesday.

So we had to just sit there, wasting an entire hour, watching this tall, blonde Jameson person cross and recross her long legs and flip that mass of hair. (If it's so annoying, why not put a rubber band or something on it?)

Anyway, the whole thing got kinda old and boring, as any wife must imagine, and we forgot to take notes.

Maybe Oprah will have Palin back on some other day. We'll keep you posted.

-- Andrew Malcolm

Related items:

Sarah Palin reveals a secret about husband Todd

What to watch for as Sarah Palin returns to the trail

The Sarah Palin election day speech(es) we never heard

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