Advertisement

Opinion: Will this glaring photo prompt urgent federal action?

Share

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

An unidentified American sports fan, caught in the uncomfortable perils of global warming and climate change, awaits emergency federal guidance from the Obama White House on how best to combat the sun’s glare at an afternoon athletic contest.

After eight years of failed Bush-Cheney Republican policies, potentially millions of Americans like this remain uncovered and in similar straits threatening their basic healthcare, a predicament the protective Democratic administration finds unacceptable in an era of rapid change for a country that can put a man on the moon.

Advertisement

According to uninformed Washington sources, under the multi-billion-dollar Cash for Caps program being discussed, American residents who qualify (including illegal immigrants) will receive personalized instruction for up to six weeks on precisely how to properly position a visored cap to protect the face against the harmful sun’s ruthless rays.

-- Andrew Malcolm

The only qualification necessary to receive Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item is to click and register here. Or follow us @latimestot

Advertisement