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Hawaii tries again to snuff Barack Obama birth certificate controversy

July 28, 2009 |  1:24 am

Well, surely this will settle finally once and for all that Barack Hussein Obama was really, actually and factually born in the United States and, therefore, is fully qualified according to the U.S. Constitution to be the president that he has been since he took the oath of office on Jan. 20 and a second time shortly after, just to make sure.

Not!

In yet another quite possibly futile attempt to silence the zombie birther controversy that won't die, the director of Hawaii's State Department of Health, Dr. Chiyome Fukino, has just repeated her statement from October that she has personally and with her very own official eyes seen the "original vital records" regarding Obama's birth in Honolulu's Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital on Aug. 4, 1961.

At Monday's White House briefing, press secretary Robert Gibbs also sought to dismiss the issue as "fictional nonsense," suggesting the so-called birthers would never be happy with any evidence.

Nevermind that Obama might have been born on Mars for all anyone cares. The stubborn story of the refusal of many to stop questioning his birthplace as American and....

...therefore, to challenge his presidential legitimacy has become in itself an intriguing, if legally moot, tale.

Various courts have ruled in Obama's favor on the issue or refused even to consider it. (Aha, so maybe they are all part of a Kenyan socialist conspiracy?)

Hawaii's Republican governor is reported to believe Obama is a natural-born American. No one has produced solid conflicting documents that he wasn't born in the U.S.

The Obama campaign released an official state certificate of birth, which The Ticket published here months ago. Hawaii says it's authentic. Critics point out accurately it's not an official birth certificate. They claim the type font is newer than the date. Wonder where the doctor's signature is? And the infant's footprints?

But here's the real catch: Hawaii state law happens to forbid release of original birth records to anyone without a tangible interest in those records.

Barack Obama and his mother

And, so far, the tangible interest of any of the so-called "birthers" including even Alan Keyes here or the famous singer Pat Boone over here has yet to be proven. So the original documents remain transparently secreted in Hawaii while the story strangely simmers all over.

Wait! Unless, as a certain CNN celebrity commentator stubbornly suggests (despite his boss' own suggestion that the guy drop the stupid issue as dead), those historical documents were mysteriously destroyed somehow. Perhaps during computerization of state government documents. Or perhaps as part.....

But then, what is it state health director Fukino claims she looked at? And why exactly were Obama's documents destroyed? What were they hiding?

How did the Obama kid and his late mother ever get his U.S. passport without an actual certified birth certificate like everyone else has to produce? So they could travel to and live in Indonesia all those years ago? What about the report that some African relative recalls Obama being born in Kenya?

And, by the way, where was Lou Dobbs born?

The answer, according to legend, is that the often-outraged TV talker was born in the sparsely populated north Texas county of Childress, the son of two illegal immigrants. No, just kidding about the parent part because LD has made such a big deal out of illegal immigrants from Mexico. According to the little-known story, Dobbs' father Frank was a propane dealer, his mother Lydia Mae a bookkeeper.

What is not so well-known is that the county is named for George Campbell Childress. The very one.

And do you know who GCC was? He was the author of the Republic of Texas' Declaration of Independence from Mexico. The subversive (to Gen. Santa Anna) declaration was adopted on March 2, 1836. That precise date just happens to be almost exactly 109 years, six months and roughly three weeks before the birth of the conspiracist commentator who rails against illegal Mexican immigrants.

Coincidence?

-- Andrew Malcolm

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