Schwarzenegger on Leno tonight, Leno on California and Sotomayor
Not that we have anything against Conan the Second Barbarian, but we're gonna miss Jay Leno on The Ticket. This is the last week for the jut-jawed late-night icon who's interviewed so many politicians on his show over these years.
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who announced on Jay's show his candidacy to replace the soon-to-be-recalled Gray Davis, was back on tonight, for the 25th time. The gov complained that he took his family to see the new Terminator movie and his daughter thought it was the best one yet. Thanks, honey.
Maybe Jay's writers will soon join the unemployment line. Maybe not. But they're going out with a bang. In tribute to them -- and Jay -- we're running some of our favorite lines from tonight's Tonight Show monologue:
About Memorial Day: "I guess most people sat around all day doing nothing. But enough about the Lakers."
On President Obama's nomination of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court: "A Latino woman. How about that? You know what that means -- Ruth Bader Ginsburg will no longer be the hot chick on the court.
"If confirmed, she would be the country's first Hispanic justice. Her first order of business? Deporting Lou Dobbs."
"The Republicans were a little disappointed. When they heard Obama say he might appoint a minority, they said, 'Oh, great!' Then, they realized."
"The economy is so bad, Kev, I tell ya, a dog asked Michael Vick to set up some fights for him. The dog needs the money!
"The people in Beverly Hills are hurting. The guys in Beverly Hills are going to Earl Schieb to get a spray-on tan. It's cheaper.
"The economy is so bad, Gov. Schwarzenegger had to take a second job narrating Hooked on Phonics CDs. That's how bad it is.
"Gov. Schwarzenegger is our guest here tonight. Actually, he's not here as a guest. He's here to pass the hat."
Schwarzenegger from offstage: "The state is broke. Give generously."
And for cat owners, who really understand: "A new study has found that having a cat makes you 40% less likely to die of a heart attack. Not that the cat could care either way."
-- Andrew Malcolm
But seriously, folks, click here for Twitter alerts on each new Ticket item. Or follow us @latimestot