An inaugural registry to prevent the awful agony of 'tuxedo envy'
Don't know why so many people are talking about a presidential inauguration coming up soon in Washington. Something about a 44th president.
It seems a clever someone has created a Web registry where guys can go online to make sure that no other guy is wearing the exact same tuxedo. Prevents all kinds of masculine enhancement. No, we mean masculine embarrassment.
Just imagine if they had 10 balls and every guy at every ball looked like a penguin with a starched collar because, well, sure, after weekends of wifely nagging, he did finally try on the pants and the jacket because it had been so long. And the shirt too. But he forgot the collar-buttoning ritual. And now he talks like Donald Duck.
And with the thousands of people expected to attend the 10 official Obama balls, not to mention numerous unofficial balls and parties all over the D.C. swamp, one can only imagine how many different kinds of tuxedos might be in sartorial conflict.
What could you possibly say to some guy you suddenly confront at a ball who's wearing the same black coat and stupid little bow tie? Hard to even imagine such an awkward moment. But maybe you could say, "Hello." Or, "Where do you get your ruffles fluffed?" Or, "That's a very nice stupid little bow tie."
Anyway, Monica says that ... oh, wait a sec. Ooops! We read it wrong. It's not a website for guys. It's for gals and their gowns. Like Michelle. Not her man.
Imagine that! You mean it actually matters to some women if they show up somewhere and another female has the exact same impeccable taste as they do?
That seems a little creepy, to be honest. Anyway, Monica has all the details right here.
-- Andrew Malcolm
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Photo: A jackass penguin mocks the attire of presidential inaugural ball-goers. Credit: Australian government