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Attn. Fox News haters: New book provides more to revile about him

December 3, 2008 |  2:30 am

Important Information for Fox News Haters:

You know who you are. No, not just the Ron Paul people.

All the Dems and lefties and radicals and libertarians and even some of you moderate GOPers and neocon wannabes, who detest the network with all those blonds and Brits and Bretts and Carls.

Not counting, of course, Chris Wallace, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Greta Van Susteren, Oliver North, pretty soon Glenn Beck, those silly people in the morning and that afternoon guy with the head the size of Long Island.

There's a new book out on the satanic founder of Fox, who is clearly so totally evil in the eyes of many that we can't even use his name here. Suffice it to say, his initials are R.M. and his first name sounds like the bad prince in a tiny cartoon land.

Another real rich guy who looks a lot like the guy we're writing about but won't say his name

He's actually from Australia. But he became an American because who cares about TV czars in a country that names a city Sydney?

Oh, and there was one little U.S. law that forbids non-Americans from owning TV stations.

So anyway this guy comes along trying to annoy (we can't use the real words here either, but their initials are "p" and "o") the entire world because a) he's very rich and successful, which makes many of us painfully jealous, and b) he was an unlikeable misfit loser in prep school.

So now, the globe must pay.

At least as long as the 77-year-old guy lives. Or maybe longer if he succeeds in getting his children to fight over his multinational empire after he buys the most temperate part of the other Down Under where it's really hot.

This new book is called "The Man Who Owns the News: Inside the Secret World of name deleted." It's apparently written rather well by Michael Wolff, who knows his media stuff. And somehow he got R.M. to sit for 50 hours of interviews, which is a long time, especially if those blonds are chatting up the family of one more white, teenage female kidnap victim.

The Times' Tim Rutten, who knows a lot of stuff too, has a review of the new volume over here. Tim doesn't like everything in the book, but he makes it sound pretty darned interesting.

Especially the author's theory that R.M.'s greatest strength is not his ability to master modern global satellite communications like that media mogul villain in the James Bond movie who looked a lot like Jonathan Pryce on his invisible boat in the China Sea until he got chewed up by some immense drill bit that happened by.

R.M.'s greatest strength, it seems, is his uncanny ability to detect the weaknesses in everybody else. And to play on them. Like seeing through to our underwear. Or worse.

We hate that. Ergo, we hate him. It's really pretty simple.

--Andrew Malcolm

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Photo credit: Getty Images

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