Opinion: Now it’s Joe Biden’s turn on the ‘SNL’ skewer

HAMMOND AS MURTHA: ‘How’s everybody doin’ today? Now before we get started, I want to clear the air about something I said last week, when I suggested that the good people here in Western Pennsylvania are racist. That’s not at all what I meant to say. It’s more that they’re ignorant, and they don’t know any better. Especially your older ones. They’re just bone ignorant. It’s like someone said earlier in the campaign -- I don’t remember who -- that they cling to guns and religion, because they feel threatened. And that’s so true.’

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: ‘Thanks, Jack. Congressman Jack Murtha, everybody! Let me tell you something, Johnstown! Two weeks from now, with the help of the people of Western Pennsylvania, we’re going to elect a new president. President Barack Obama! (NOTICING SOMEONE IN CROWD) And I see we’ve got Pete Harrigan here today! Stand up, Pete! Good to see ya! ‘And let me tell you something else. And listen to me well. As sure as I’m standing here today, during his first few weeks in office, this brilliant young president, is going to be tested. Tested by an international crisis, the likes of which this nation has never before seen. A deliberately manufactured crisis, designed to test his mettle. Now, in this crisis, he will have to make decisions. Decisions that may at first, to the casual observer, seem ill considered. Our military may invade Pakistan. Or surrender to the Chinese. We may sell Hawaii to Saudi Arabia. Or just destroy it, so it can’t fall into North Korean hands. But just reserve your judgment. We know what we’re doin’. (NOTICING SOMEONE ELSE IN THE CROWD) Hey! Mickey Doyle! County Treasurer! How ya doin’?’ HAMMOND AS MURTHA: ‘If I could say something here. Earlier, what I said about Western Pennsylvania being ignorant. I was misquoted. I meant more, ‘backward.’ Your people out here just don’t understand the modern world. ‘Cause they’re uneducated, and they don’t have radios or that kind of thing. Also, they’re racists.’ SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: ‘Mark my words. If you take away nothing else from what I say here today, or indeed, in this entire campaign, remember this: If Barack Obama is elected, we will have a crisis. And when this crisis hits, and it will, in the second week of February, we may do some weird things. We may cede Florida back to Spain, or Alaska to the Russians. We may blow up every nuclear power plant in the country. We may set fire to Washington, D.C. We may round up all French-Canadians. But don’t lose faith. It’s all part of a plan. (SEES SOMEONE ELSE IN THE CROWD) Hey! There’s Pat Reardon, a great assistant D.A. here in Greene County! Good to see ya, Pat!’