Nah, nah, Jesse Ventura's too chicken to run for the Senate
Well, you can stop holding your breath.
Former pro wrestler and former Minnesota Gov. Jesse 'Come Over Here and Say That' Ventura has decided not to run for the U.S. Senate seat now held by Republican Norm 'I Used to Be Mayor, You Know' Coleman and now desired by Democrat Al 'Big Fat Comedian With a Work Comp Payment Problem' Franken.
Unless he changes his mind before the filing deadline of 5 p.m. Tuesday.
That woulda been a wonderful "Smackdown 08." Picture the televised debates, Jesse ranting and pointing his finger at the camera after smashing a chair over the moderator's head. Franken trying to be funny again. And Norm,
the former St. Paul mayor, consulting his notes on fiscal numbers.
Jesse was made for the media. Huge guy. Deep voice. Outrageous opinions. Sounds good. Who would you want with on your side in a bar fight, even if he started it?
So, naturally the big guy chose to end the speculation that he started himself a week or so ago by going on the staid traditional forum of "Larry King Live" to make his non-announcement because that show didn't have any missing blonde high school cheerleaders to interview the parents of tonight.
Jeese's speaking fees must be fading for him to gin up this 10-day publicity dust devil.
Jesse said he was sick and tired of both parties. All they do is spend other people's money, he said. He also said he might not even vote, there's so little difference between them. He said they denounce each other and then make backroom buddy-buddy deals with each other, just like pro wrestling. And he's angry about it.
Larry could have gotten a lot of other angry people to go on and say that. What about Ron 'The Revolution Is Coming' Paul? Or Bob 'The Body' Barr?
And in a move that could have created Minnesota residency problems if he'd run, Jesse let slip that he's moved southwest and now lives at least half the year in Mexico. Which is understandable given Minnesota's surfing conditions and the summertime bug supply in the Land of 10,000,000 Lakes or however many they claim up there.
Come to think of it, the Lakers did the same thing.
--Andrew Malcolm
Ron Paul rules! Jesse is right on about the backroom deals and the fact that both parties are exactly the same.
Posted by: Bill | July 14, 2008 at 08:41 PM
Please. We've had enough of this moron!
Posted by: Katharine | July 14, 2008 at 08:43 PM
I'm sure Jesse has a good reason for his decision, much to the story writer's chagrin. These peevish prig scribes really wear quite the large chips on their narrow, pencil-neck supporting shoulders. I'm sure Jesse would love nothing more than to "power-bomb" him.
Posted by: Schratboy | July 14, 2008 at 08:51 PM
Andrew; hes not scared ;hes sick; hes had some coronary difficulties; and if you look at him; he shakes;
he appears to have a tremor, possibly the beginnings of parkinsons disease
Posted by: richard haase | July 14, 2008 at 08:54 PM
I guess this sort of drivel is to be expected from the sophomoric LA Times blog. I am so ashamed of our schools.
Posted by: 1337 | July 14, 2008 at 09:16 PM
I read elsewhere that he spends half the year in Mexico, not SoCal.
Posted by: Peter Ahlstrom | July 14, 2008 at 09:59 PM
Yeah, Jesse was against the war from day one. What a maroon.
Posted by: James McCrackan | July 14, 2008 at 10:24 PM
Thats pretty sad yet Ventura has done his duty so far as a patriot. Let's all give it up for Jesse......
Posted by: Thomas Wassmann | July 14, 2008 at 11:10 PM
nice to hear that there seems to be a little integrity left, or coming back to some. sad to see that the concept seems to elude others altogether. to continue your obvious cheap propaganda war, 'supported' by certain 'readers' with the same obvious transparent background, sure shows a lot of dedication. is it worth the price YOU pay?
Posted by: dave | July 14, 2008 at 11:17 PM
Hey Jesse, it looks like we WILL be starting the revolution without you.
Posted by: Mike | July 15, 2008 at 12:45 AM
American politics...... so ridiculous you just gotta luv it!
Posted by: bONZO | July 15, 2008 at 01:24 AM
theres a guy youd want in gov .hes truly honest .in saying theres little difference today ,because both sides have sold out ,you the man sad but true he tells it like it is jesse but there are a couple that are trying thanks
Posted by: joe demarco | July 15, 2008 at 01:54 AM
Who cares about this WWF former has been. He certainly is not a role model or anyone that we should even listen too. He says the press was to hard on his kids.. The son had a booze party at the Govs mansion and trashed it(another looser).
Why the press or Larry King would waste time and give this idiot and interview continues to amaze me.
He can stay in Mexico all year.
Posted by: Gary | July 15, 2008 at 04:04 AM
Its really kind of sad. Jesse might have shaken things up in congress even if he had to use a folded chair. The current gas crises is a joke, and the Dems still don't get it! Environmental concerns only work in a positive economic world. By not drilling for oil they have brought the roof down on the whole issue, and now when it is to late we might see some real environmental disasters in the rush to set things straight. Its so stupid, we only needed a few more years to develop alternative energy without bankrupting the nation.
Posted by: Franklin | July 15, 2008 at 04:45 AM
Mr. Malcolm did an excellent job of making Ventura look like a kook. The very idea of anyone with some common sense running for the U.S. Senate AS A THIRD-PARTY CANDIDATE! Now, we can't have that, can we? It might upset the status quo of the Demopublicans.
Vote Cynthia McKinney for president!
Posted by: Nicholas | July 15, 2008 at 05:00 AM
Andrew, you obviously weren't paying attention.. He said he wouldn't run unless God told him to, and apparently He did - I just read it this morning in the comment section of the Rueter's article...
Posted by: The other side of the fence | July 15, 2008 at 05:04 AM
The Barnum & Bailey circus moved to Washington several years ago when, in need of clowns, they discovered that there were 535 of them in Congress. Jesse should run, win and then he could be their leader since they currently are totally leaderless.
Having said that the real fools are we, the people, because we continue to send these moronic mental midgets back to 'represent' us. Geeeze, what a mess!!!
Posted by: dharper | July 15, 2008 at 05:46 AM
We need "Unaffected" people like Jesse in our Government. Bring it back to the people for the people..BY the people.
Direct and brutal honesty is a hard pill to swallow..It's CHANGE.
Posted by: Jenn | July 15, 2008 at 06:40 AM
A little Beltway snobbery at work here? Jesse would have been better than the other two senatorial candidates, just as he showed beating Norm Coleman and Hubert Humphrey's son to become governor. You obviously don't know the man nor have you, evidently, ever met him. Jesse is a very smart man and would have been an interesting senator.
Posted by: DPB | July 15, 2008 at 08:29 AM
"...because that show didn't have any missing blonde high school cheerleaders to interview the parents of tonight." This is outrageous. How can you be so flip about missing children? You need to apologize for this.
Posted by: Andrew Austin | July 15, 2008 at 09:09 AM
My guess is Jesse realized he would steal more votes from the Coleman camp. Very few if any Minnesota liberals would vote for a candidate like Ross Perot or Jesse Ventura when one of their main platforms is to reduce government spending across the board which includes social programs cuts. Hence, Jesse may have thought that even the bigger fool Al Franken would win the election if he ran as an independent candidate.
Posted by: Joe Edison | July 15, 2008 at 08:50 PM
Jesse(I hate Hulk Hogan)ventura
Posted by: Nick | July 21, 2008 at 02:06 PM