Dick Cheney, the constant comedian, lets some good ones fly

Have you heard the one about the powerful vice president who got up in front of a bunch of people that he probably dislikes the most of any, other than maybe special prosecutors? And he told the most hilarious joke about incest in West Virginia.

Which couldn't possibly have been funnier unless it was about incest in Mississippi.

But this being an election year, even though not for this vice president, and West Virginians being as totally humorless as everyone knows they are, Dick Cheney had to quickly issue a statement apologizing to the people of the little state without whose five electoral votes in 2000 he would long since be a full-time fly-fisherman or dove killer.

Widely considered the most powerful No. 2 in the country's history, Cheney also absolutely loves the media. Can't get enough of them. Us. Which is why he agreed to present a bunch of awards at a Monday lunch at the National Press Club, the same institution where....

...that other renowned comedian, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, let fly some racial zingers recently.

What a coincidence.

But seriously, folks, Cheney said he has no future political ambitions, which is probably a good thing given that his favorable ratings lie down around the number of Wyoming's electoral votes -- three.

Cheney did say he might write a book after retirement next Jan. 20. Actually, what he said with his trademark loquaciousness was, "Perhaps."

Pressed, he added, “I really haven’t decided. I’ve never written a book. I’ve always said, 'I got this job because I didn’t write about the last one.”

People were falling out of their chairs by now.

Both Cheney and Illinois Sen. Barack Obama have gotten a whole lot of speaking mileage out of the lighthearted revelation last fall by Lynne Cheney that she had uncovered some family linkage between her husband and the man who's so often denouncing her husband and Laura Bush's husband.

Lynne Cheney found the Obama connection through the vice president's maternal grandmother who -- and here's where the humor builds -- was also named Cheney.

“So we had Cheneys on both sides of the family," said Cheney, "and we don’t even live in West Virginia."

Then, he added, "You can say these things when you're not running for reelection."

West Virginians on both sides of the political aisle launched immediate rhetorical grenades, calling the quip "disrespectful" and "certainly not funny" and "pitiful."

Before being hospitalized for an unexplained fever, Sen. Robert C. Byrd, whom you might suspect is a 90-year-old Democrat with absolutely no sense of humor unless it's about both Republicans in his home state, said the Cheney remark showed "contempt and astounding ignorance toward his own countrymen."

By mid-afternoon, however, the laughter had died. And a Cheney spokesman said her boss apologized to West Virginians for his "inappropriate attempt at humor that he should not have made."

Next time maybe he'll tell the one about the Wyoming rancher who was driving to the Casper airport for a flight to Denver. But when he got to the intersection, the sign said "Airport Left."  So he turned his pickup around and went home.

--Andrew Malcolm

Photo Credit: The White House 

Comments

[Wm Tate]

Cheney actually WAS funny! He, like his boss, seems to have a self-deprecating sense of humor. And, while he may have upset some folks in West Virginia who don't have the same trait, he no doubt knows that West Virginia is one of fifty states. I'm still waiting for the Big O to reveal the other seven states he has apparently identified.
-Wm Tate,
http://www.atimelikethis.us/

[AnthonyY]

Well it made me laugh anyway Andrew, thanks a lot for a very amusing article.

'I got this job because I didn’t write about the last one.' is a particularly good one, carrying that tiny hint of menace mixed with mischief without which Dick Cheney wouldn't quite be the Dick Cheney that the US knows and errr ...

[John]

/laugh... If he had been more open about his last job we may not have ellected him... /chortle /blink /blink /sniff /cry /sob

[Schratboy]

Cheney has been living too long in the insulated elitist confines of DC. There, after time, everybody becomes a constant comedian. The legal definition is: CLOWN.

[MarkD]

You thought that was funny? This guy couldn't conjure up funny with a shotgun. The fact the National Press Club would even ask this war lord to honor them means they love the mess he's created.
It's as ridiculous as the victims of 9/11 hiring Osama bin Laden as an honorary speaker.
The National Press Club has no shame. And you should be ashamed reporting on such a ridiculous event.

[Hickville USA]

Well I think we all know now that Dick Cheney is a lying murderous scumbag that belongs to the Leo Strauss school of Machiavellian Neoconservative evil and is a core member of the Project for the New American Century global domination project.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_for_the_New_American_Century

One of the lead architects of 9/11, just ask Norman Mineta and lead architect of the propaganda campaign leading to the pillage and horrors of Iraq.

The man is a murderous war criminal. What more needs to be said about this bag of bile?

He belongs in prison.

[scott]

It is a joke people... lighten up. acting hurt is just a mask of your own low self esteem.

[MARK ROBISON]

Cheney is the a is part of the 'axis of evil" Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeild. He is a sleazy person that has spread his lies and ill-will for 8 eight years. He should not be given a forum for his crudeness. Farewell u 'Idiot"

[MARK ROBISON]

Cheney is the a is part of the 'axis of evil" Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeild. He is a sleazy person that has spread his lies and ill-will for 8 eight years. He should not be given a forum for his crudeness. Farewell u 'Idiot"

[rj]

You Bush-haters are just sounding crazier and crazier and crazier. You can't take a joke, you can't stop foaming at the mouth you can't even stop ripping each other throats out in your own primaries.

Republicans may not be liked right now but unfortunately I don't think the Dems are any better. It's long past time for an independent party.

[MM]

What I don't get is that Cheney can make a "joke" like this and no one calls him elitist and out of touch...Obama makes the "bitter" comments (though inartfully worded, most have acknowledged the truth surrounding the fact that the rust belt has been largely ignored by Washington and therefore is distrustful of it) and he is evicerated because of them.

Cheney's joke exposes the fact that he and the current administration take W. Va's vote for granted while having contempt for them. Even so, W.Va will probably go Repub this year...again.

[Gromit]

Inappropriate. Doesn't matter if it's an Obama supporter trying to explain Hillary's big margin in the WV primary, or a righty like Cheney.

It's particularly stupid from Mr. Cheney, inasmuch as WV's electoral votes went for Bush/Cheney in both 2000 and 2004. Nice gratitude.

[Al]

That West Virginia joke made me laugh so hard; it was like getting shot in the face.

[tlsmith1963]

Cheney is such a jerk. I want to see the Republicans destroyed so much for the last 8 years. They have become incredibly tiresome.

[Anybody got a big magnet?]

The most telling thing about making this sort of joke about West Virginia is that it is an old and stale joke. So not only is Cheney a truly and deeply EVIL man (and I really believe he is) he is also socially inept and just plain mentally slow. Boy, he and Bush do have a lot in common.

[William Carter]

People need to relax and come down from the left wing high horse. It was a joke. Far lefters like that poster from Hicksville, USA need to chill. Then again maybe they should go ahead and get worked up. The more of them that keel over before the election the better.

[LA Born]

Sign up below for Cheney Impeachment Hearings! It is free and quick.

www.WexlerWantsHearings.com

Representative Robert Wexler of Florida (yeah, the same guy who was in the news last week calling for sworn testimony from McClellan and who was supporting Obama's interests in Florida) has this web page for people to put their names on the line if they want, like he does, Cheney impeachment hearings to finally get started. Afterall, Articles of Impeachment against Cheney have been waiting in the House Judicary Committee to be acted upon for several months. To get the attention of the House and Committee leadership who are blocking hearings will take a lot more than the 238,000 who have signed on so far.

Please pass the word of WexlerWantsHearings around the web because the millions who want Cheney gone won't find out about it on the evening news.

[Daniel]

Hey unless you live in West Virginia, thats some funny stuff. Who cares if the 12 people who do live in West Virginia don't like it? Another example how PC ness has gone too far, you can't even make fun of country bumpkins now, you have to issue a national apology. Geez.

[Nancy Golding]

As a ninth generation West Virginian, who graduated Summa Cum Laude and Phi Beta Kappa, I am outraged that a person who should be impeached for his dishonesty while in office has the nerve to disparage my home state. He belongs in prison, and I am sure that there is an empty cell in West Virginia for him. Sleaze!

[Gaby C]

Cheney makes a joke, boo hoo. I'll take him over any VP choice the demos have coming up. You simply hate him. As the bumper sticker says: "Ted Kennedy's driving has killed more people than Dick Cheney's shotgun"

[Debbie S]

Thank goodness he is on his way out. He is supposed to be a leader? Shows no class. Hmmmm, I think its time we got some class back into this country. What is this world coming to.

[Shannon]

At least the humble people in WV can fire a shotgun and hit their target...that old, 'bag of bile'...(I loved that line, so I'm borrowing it)...can only shoot his buddies. And his proving that his family tree has no limbs...straight up...just proves that there's incest wherever this windbag is from. He's as funny as a carload of corpses...'yawn'

[Donnie from WV]

I have heard similar jokes from radio talk show host, but to hear this from a man who is VP of the United States is appalling . It is obvious that Dick Chaney or any people who make these kind of jokes or thinks these jokes are funny has never been to West Virginia. For him or anyone to demoralize anyone is horrible!!!! We all enjoy a little humor, but not at the expense of other people. A large part of West Virginia,s economy is tourist based, and comments like this will not help our tourist industry!
I also believe West Virginia would have voted for McCain, but now if other West Virginians feel the way I do it will be very long time before I vote for another republican for President. I am a registered Independent who voted for him both terms, really makes me feel like the moron he is!

[frank from W.VA]

Why dont someone tell him some GAY JOKES about his daughter and let us see his reaction . Just face it , he is just mad that none of his family members will sleep with him ( just kidding ) Get the hell out of the White House , so we can become a country again .