Presidential inauguration forces terrible inconvenience on Academy Awards

It just goes to show how ridiculous this U.S. presidential selection process has become when simply because the world's sole superpower -- for a while longer anyway -- is choosing a new leader, something as globally important as the announcement of the next Academy Awards nominees must be postponed.

It isn't enough that the country must endure about 24 months of political blather and rhetorical positioning to choose the next leader of the free world from among a trio of surviving senators, of all things.

It's insufficient that this election process will likely cost on the order of $2 billion, which could finance four, maybe five, solid Hollywood blockbusters about more interesting things with much higher entertainment value, not to mention special effects.

But now the world must wait an extra 48 hours -- 48! -- to learn who's been nominated to receive an Oscar. The outrage. Just because the new president must take something called an oath and give a high-falutin' speech and then pretend to watch every high school marching band in the entire country parade by in the traditional freezing drizzle.

The Academy was prepared to announce its 2009 Oscar nominees on Jan. 20 as usual. But, oh no, there's a presidential and vice-presidential swearing in to swear to. So now we must all wait until Jan. 22 to learn who might get the famous statuettes at the 81st Academy Awards. And this'll only be, what, the 44th president?

And the pressures this cramped schedule adds to the people that produce the Feb. 22 show that always goes on way too long but they have to get all those shampoo ads in.

Where has our country's sense of values gone?

--Andrew Malcolm

Comments

[Ronald Loui]

OK, AM, nice try. I'll toss you a comment that's remotely related --

I just found out that KAREN on THE OFFICE (and also UNHITCHED) is Rashida Jones. Well, first of all, I adore the Karen character, not just the lovely Pam, portrayed by an actress from my side of the country. But your LA-based Karen/Rashida Jones is quite an interesting person.

First, she's a genuine Harvard grad. Not an Occidental-transfer to Columbia who happened to get into Harvard Law because his community organizing added some spice to the class. No, she's the genuine thing. Someone who is really educated to be elite. (The joke on all the Obama-is-too-elite-for-me voters is going to be when they find out that Obama has pretty much DISLIKED ELITISTS HIS WHOLE LIFE -- there is a difference between eliteness of character, or keeping elite company, and being an elitist.)

Second, last I checked, Rashida is an Arabic name. Oh ho ho ho. Not just an ARABIC MIDDLE NAME, but a genuine Arabic first name. Wow! Better kick her off of TV. Except she's so damned good at being an actress, what would Thursday nights be without a rising star like Rashida? Anyway, the joke is on anyone who judges the book by her cover, because Rashida is a PRACTICING JEW. Her mother apparently gave her a choice and she took it. Now, she was a little bit Hindu for a while, but nobody does things in the early teen years that one can later be proud of. Even the best of us, well, what did we do as young teens? Play chess? Watch Donny and Marie? That's what I did, and I am not proud of it.

Now, the kicker. Young Rashida is the daughter of Peggy Lipton and Quincy Jones. Yeah, you got it. Another one of the Tiger Woods generation. But she looks and acts so white! But she has one drop, you know, no matter how pretty you think she is. But her mom was so hip -- Peggy Lipton, one of the most beautiful women of the sixties and not a shabby role model either. And Quincy Jones, who had us all dancing to "Ai No Corrida" before Hillary ever learned to wail "Ai No More Obama." Another child of miscegenation, except that in her case, she castigated Tupac Shakur for his anti-mixed-race sentiments. Heterosis. Look it up.

She even works with children to help protect them from violence. Such a nice girl.

Geez, it's those Funny-named-but-perfectly-normal, Mixed-race-but-fully-mainstream, Elite-educated-but-working-class-loving beautiful people like Rashida and Barack who are taking over our country.

THANK GOD.