Clinton Fan Alert: Stay away. This item is only for Barack Obama supporters and a few Republicans. We mean it.

This item is not for fans of Sen. Hillary Clinton. You should click away.

Please. Just click here to go away.

Now.

Seriously. You'll be really sorry if you don't.

Are they gone?

All right. The Timothy McSweeney website is one of the most entertaining and eclectic around. If you like unpredictable -- and predictably we think the Ticket readers do -- that place is worth a regular visit.

Especially now.

Because Nick Ripatrazone there went out to the driveway this morning just to get the paper and snipers opened up on him. Sniper fire was everywhere. It was like Bosnia. He had no idea where it was coming from.

He had to run for his life to the parked car and then through the front door to safely reach his base. He remembers it as if it was today.

Despite enduring that furious fusillade, which qualified him to run on his experiences for first lady, he sat down to write in his blog. It's titled "Other Dangerous Historical Events Hillary Clinton Experienced as First Lady."

And this is what he wrote.

-- Andrew Malcolm

(Hey, Clinton folks. You can't say we didn't warn you.)

There's a video down below if you want even more.

WARNING: Some of this war footage is graphic and may be disturbing to some readers.

.

Comments

[Shiite clerics, Sunni Imams and Barack emirs !]

Hey Virginia ! let me tell you about the time Obama single
handedly reversed a humongus tsunami ! It was then that
Rezko became a believer and that the Illinois chapter of the
hell's angels caved in to the new mahdi . Bubonic plague
and ebola virus were no match to this race transcending
behemoth armed with unsurpassed wisdom and inspiration provided by the most reverends jeremiah Wright
and Louis farrakhan. Even the most sceptics, including
the unscrutable Matha Davidson were mistified. Praise
Beelzebuth !

[Purple people eater!]

No, this is NOT a new sexual deviant group beeing hailed
by the Democrat nomenclatura.But do stay tuned in to the
Rezko trial as evidence comes in to public light establishing
connection between democrats and shocking vice such as drugs,prostitution, criminal byker gangs and treasonous
behaviour by moraly challenged perverts such as Gov.
Judas,Hanoi Jane and anti-semite ex-pres. Carter.

[Dusty]

As an Obama supporter, I really don't care about what Hillary has said and done, or what faults people can find in Obama. I have faults of my own.

As a Democrat, the only thing I care about is taking back the whitehouse at the end of this election. If I MUST vote for Hillary in November I will.

There is to much at stake for me to be so angry with Hillary that I don't vote or choose MCain. That makes no sense at all. Republicans would love that.

There are too many people suffering for lack of healthcare and to many soldiers and people dying from this war, the shape of our economy is pitiful. And I certainly don't want to see my grandchildren going off to this hundred year war. McCain may even bring back the draft to support this war.

Democrats should do what's best for the country and stop letting blogs and campaigns, Republicans bait us and make us so angry that we do something stupid and possibly suffer another four years.

We can all drink our bottle of pepto-bismal after the election in November. At least that's what I intend to do.

[Tom J]

I figured the closest thing to sniper fire Hillary ever endured was when the rice was thrown at her after her wedding. Maybe she' suffering from endless Post-Traumatic Syndrome flashbacks?

[ALDO]

I SUPPORT OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT BECAUSE OF HIS UNDAUNTING PASSION TO MAKE AMERICA HEALTHIER AND WEALTHIER. HOWEVER, I WOULD STILL CHOOSE HILLARY OVER MCCAIN. ANYONE VOTING FOR MCCAIN SHOULD HAVE THEIR HEAD EXAMINED. VOTE WITH GOOD JUDGMENT AND COMMON SENSE.

[AngelGabriel]

I didn’t know it then, but I became a Democrat when I was about five years old. Being born in the late 50’s, I watched history unfold on the black and white TV in my family’s living room. Imagine the horror that a five-year old child experiences when watching images of innocent people being viciously sprayed with fire hoses, bitten by police dogs, and beaten by people in uniform—innocent people whose sole “crime” was to want an equal piece of the American pie. I know the horror. I was that five-year old.

I also watched the family’s black and white TV flash the images of many good, decent, ethical White people—The President of the United States, his Attorney General Brother, the National Guard, the people of many churches, and the everyday citizen--doing what they could to stop the insanity that was being perpetuated on our Black sisters and brothers. My little five-year old heart just knew that help was on the way, and, ever since, I have always wanted to be a part of the “help is on the way” group.

As a 50-plus year old, I am disheartened. Disheartened not by where we “are,” but by where we are “not.” There has been so much “talk” about race-relations—some good, some not-so-good, and a lot that is damaging and some outright damning.

There will never be a healing between the races (all races) until all races decide to give the power to the positive. What does this mean: “power to the positive?” It means grow the good – build bridges – extend your hand.

For far, far, far too long, way, way, way too much power has been given to the negative - to the angry, to the damners – to those who have done and continued to do damage. Who are these people? These people are small in number, yet we give them so much power. Why?

Today, at 50-plus, I watched the images on my family’s color TV. The image of a Black Man-of-the-Cloth take the Lord’s name in vain, profane our great nation, and damn the people of my skin-color. Today, I watched a bi-racial Presidential Candidate attempt to convince me that the man--who had absolutely no inhibitions in standing before his congregation cursing, profaning, and damning a people—the man who had officiated at the Candidate’s wedding—the man who had baptized his children—the man who has been instrumental in the Candidate’s spiritual development—had “not once” talked about “any ethic group in derogatory terms” I do not believe this statement. And, I—just a plain, common gal—would have distanced myself from such a person instead of welcoming him into every facet of mine and my family’s life. This Presidential Candidate did not distance himself. Why?

I also watched as this Presidential Candidate attempted to equate Reverend Wright’s unacceptable behavior and words to that of the White grandmother who raised the Candidate and to that of Geraldine Ferraro. These women did not curse in front of an entire congregation, did not publicly and unashamedly damn their country or an entire race or an entire gender. Yet, the Candidate attempted to convince me that their “wrongs” were equal to Reverend Wright’s “wrongs.” Why?

The Candidate is right. We are in a “racial stalemate” and my life is a testament that we have been and still are “stuck in” it” and will remain “stuck in it” as long as the antics like those of Reverend Wright are dismissed as possibly understandable. That is exactly the same premise that wrong-minded Whites used to “justify” their damnable behaviors. One of my heroes counseled us to judge people, “not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character”. That hero was right: Racism is ugly, no matter what group is spewing it.

As a child, I saw other heroes take a firm, strong, and steadfast stand to right wrongs, to save lives, and to extend rightful liberties. One hero invited us to, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your county.” What can I do for my country? I can and will continue to a part of the “help is on the way” group.