Faux Report: Obama, at 6, once pretend-shot a pal, appeared to enjoy it

We've got something really special this morning, possibly the last Sunday this spring The Ticket will be able to use the words "Keystone State."

As you know if you've been awake at any time since Texas and Ohio, Tuesday is the Pennsylvania primary, which seems to have been "the next one" for about eight months now. To get everyone warmed up for that and the usual laugh-riot Sunday morning talk shows, The Ticket is steering loyal readers to some political humor.

Sheigh Crabtree, one of our creative LATimes.com blogging pals over at Show Tracker, has come up with a pretty hilarious collection of online political parodies. They erupted from last week's, shall we say, much-discussed Democratic debate on ABC-TV, where a former top Clinton presidential aide helped question a current Clinton presidential aspirant and her opponent for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Here's one of Show Tracker's gems, a fictitious exchange between George Stephanopoulos and Illinois Sen. Barack Obama:

STEPHANOPOULOS: "Senator Obama, your childhood friend Jimmy Choi told us that as a six-year-old boy living in Honolulu, one day you were both engaged in a typical game of cops and robbers, running around your yard with plastic guns, when suddenly little Jimmy tripped and fell.

"Before you helped little Jimmy back to his feet, you stood over him and said, "Pow! Pow! Pow!" over and over again, seemingly taking great pleasure in unloading your fake gun into your supposed friend. How can Democrats vote for a candidate who has shown, beginning at the age of six, to have such little regard for human life?"

OBAMA: "You're serious."

STEPHANOPOULOS: "Yes, Senator, I am serious. But not bitter."

CLINTON: "If I may, George, I feel Senator Obama's response, to what I consider a legitimate question, is once again indicative of an arrogance and elitism that has offended many, many hard-working and proud Pennsylvanians. By the way, Charlie, my father once shot a man dead in Scranton just to watch him die."

You can also nominate your own favorite parody at Show Tracker. But, first, check out this newly uncovered ABC-TV program promotion video just below. Then, click here to visit Show Tracker.

--Andrew Malcolm

Comments

[Daniela Laufer]

Congratulations to ABC. It is high time that someone vetted our prospective Presidential candidate.

We are entitled to know who we are voting for. I don't understand all the broohaha. We finally got an insight into Obama and it wasn't pretty.

[Tom J]

Thanks - we needed that!

[Winghunter]

Just imagine if people actually used the internet which well over 70% have in their homes by NOT WAITING for ABC to show what they should already know.

Capability for our own governance would be such a...loyal, deserving and competent thing to do.

[julescator]

lol lol - You people don't know that this was a parody. This was a joke - it's not true. Give me a break. There are a few people in the country in their attempt to hear bad news about Obama will fall for anything! Meanwhile, voting for a Liar is okay. Give me a break.

[Trey]

How dare we question Obama's character!
He'll tell us all we need to know just like George W. bush did!

[avraam jack]

-----CLINTON SLEEZE FATIGUE WILL INVIGORATE GOP, DISPIRIT DEMOCRATS AND SINK DEMOCRATIC TICKET-----

-----OBAMA / KERRY TO WIN-----

It is possible that Senator Clinton is the best candidate. However, even though many may like the policies that Senator Clinton proposes, they should also consider her record, just as Senator Clinton insists.
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The last Clinton Administration, when faced with the fact that protection rackets where assaulting, torturing and murdering people with poison and radiation, chose to avoid its responsibilities to incarcerate the criminals and to protect the citizenry.
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Instead, they made a deal with the criminal gang stalker protection rackets to leave them alone and to consequently abandon the citizenry.
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Do we want a President who sells out the citizenry for votes?
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Do we want a President who sends a "crime does pay" message to society?
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Would you vote for a President who signed nonaggression deals with the KKKlan or the Nazi party? Gangs that torture with poison and radiation are much like the KKKlan and Nazi Party.
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We do not need a sellout President. We need a principled leader President.
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If you are one of the few who do not know what the above refers to, do a web search for “gang stalking” to see the tip of the dirtberg. Please do it before you decide to reply to my post. Here let me make it easy for you: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22gang+stalking%22.
.

[Deward Bowles]

Finally, somebody starts telling the truth about Senator Obama.

People keep talking about health care, the ecomony and the war but nobody talks about what we really want to know. I will bet Senator Obama even urinated in his pants when he was a child, when are we going to read a story about that? The national media just refuses to cover the real story.

Thanks for this.

(My vote is for Senator Obama and that is no joke)

[Gena]

As a woman I continue to be BAFFLED by the support Hillary Clinton gets from women.
Besides the fact that she 'stood by' her philandering, womanising husband (the anti-Feminist if ever there was one!) she is a prime example of how the Feminist Movement has FAILED.
As women we are not expected to be TOUGHER and harder than men, but instead to capitalise on our strengths. Hillary Clinton does the complete opposite. She's unladylike. She's a guttersnipe, no better than a trollope, whoring herself out for votes.
She's a disgrace to my gender and I WONT VOTE FOR her precisely BECAUSE I am a woman and I resent how she has embarassed my gender with her tactics, her lack of dignity, her lack of class and her lack of integrity.

Lady Macbeth has LOTS to learn from Hillary Clinton.

"Out, damned spot!"

[Carlie Starling]

Role Model for Children – Obama

A few days ago Obama gave the ‘finger’ to Hillary on national television and smugly laughed about it with his audience. Is this type of malicious immaturity what you want your children to learn: lack of tolerance, vengeance and the bully mentality? After that one event, besides the mindless and uneducated, how could anyone seriously consider this Obama for any office?

Also, Obama’s state-senate candidacy was launched at Weather Underground bombers Ayers house in 1995. Ayers who advocate the violent destruction of America may have much more to do with promoting Obama than we know. The organization MoveOn has aggressively intimidated delegates to vote for Obama and to shun Hillary and is likely closely connected with Ayers. Ayers finally got his bomb – Obama.

Obama also rigged his election to become senator by unfairly disqualifying his opponents. He did this by meticulously finding fault with each of the other candidates signed petitions until each of the contenders had to drop out, Obama was the last on standing, there was no election. This was another finger gesture towards the American public by Obama.

If this isn’t enough, look at Obama’s affiliations:
Wright
Meeks
Ayers
Abongo “Roy” Obama
Rashid Khalidi
Robert Malley
Hamas
McPeaks
Rezko
Auchi

And the list goes on…

This may be the time of the Anti-Christ, but do you want to be on the list of people who voted for him?

[Young Atheart]

With this debate, ABC has become a poster child for all that is wrong with network TV news – pandering to base fears that can easily be dismissed with the smallest attention to facts. For example, Ayers' association with Obama was clearly trivial as shown by this Fact-check
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5j7cAG1TxjwCG7Xv6Wdn5m7kp_RfwD903OQ001
Also, Wright's most inflammatory words were not even his own - they were quotes fron Ambassador Peck:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QOdlnzkeoyQ

Meanwhile, real information about the candidates goes ignored, such as Obama's 800+ bills in Illinois legislature including the only successful passage of health care reform
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2007/07/29/us/politics/20070730_OBAMA_GRAPHIC.html

IN EACH CASE, THE RELEVANT INFORMATION IS ON THE INTERNET, FROM REPUTABLE NEWS SOURCES.

This is a bad trend for network Television. I had already boycotted Fox for years and will now do the same to ABC. The root cause of this trend is consolidation of media ownership. A few executives are hijacking informed coverage for a belief that sensationalism brings ratings. This drastically reducing the number of independent news sources. American democracy would be in bigger trouble if it was not for the internet.

[Char]

ABC should be ashamed.of themselves. By watching that sham of a debate you would never know that this was actually network tv.

Daniela Laufer comments that we need to vet a prospective presidential candidate, I agree. Do you honestly think Clinton is fully exposed? Wait to the GOP get a hold to her. Obama's campaign premise keeps him from really go after Clinton, but the Republican's are salivating at the chance to bring up Whitewater, Lewinsky, Foster, Peter Paul, and a plethora of other scandals and lies that come with any Clinton Administration. You don't think that there will be no pressure for the Clinton library donor list? You think that Columbiagate will go unadressed? The media has been so interested with these guilty by association attacks on Obama, they have totally forgotten to press some real important issues about Hillary Clinton's character. With Hillary's super low trustworthiness ratings the Democrats will be in huge trouble come November. I promise you there is NO way she can win. Ask yourself how a young upstart can come in and overtake her like Obama has. It's because there are flaws in her entire premise and there is truly something different about him.

[shirl]

The ABC debate was disgusting--it was like watching a set-up/ambush/lynching of Senator Obama with the three on the stage doing a mob attackl. It was more like a bunch of hoodlums against one honet man, with Hillary slugging him from behind. I iam a senior citizen feminist who will never vote for Mrs. Clinton. Hillary believes she is entitled to her husband's ex-job, but most Americans dislike and distrust her, and on good evidence. We've watched Hillary lie with a smile on St Patrick's Day about coming under sniper fire in Bosnia. Watched her smile as she knee-caps Obama with distortions on words taken out of context. Watched her smile as she lies to blue collar workers about NAFTA and about her working class identity, she of the multimillions from shady off-shore corporations and with a Yale law-school degree put to the service of union-busting Walmart. Senator Obama shows restraint and class in steering away from negative attacks on her, and whoa! is there a pile of *hit on record with the Clinton dynasty. Pardons in exchange for payback from criminals, Saudi millions for the Clinton Foundation, hundreds of thousands for support of the Colombian free trade treaty, etc, etc. Hillary cries for the camera, chugs down whiskey chased with beer for the barflies, and keeps intimate company with an impeached president caught lying with his hand on the Bible about not having sex with that woman. The more we watch Hillary, the more we distrust her. The more we know Obama, the more he becomes our candidate to change dynastic business as usual in Washington. We citizens of the American Republic denounce and reject the Clinton dynasty. We want our democracy back.

[Seni]

I also thank ABC for giving us some insight into Obama the person. I hope you can give us voters more information about his true background and his friends and associates. The issues on the economy, the war , health care and foreign policy is very important, but just as important to many voters is the character of a president and the the kind of respect he show for everyone. No presidental candidate feel insulted when questioned fairly during debates. Voters have the right to hear this information. THANK YOU ABC.

[Zachary Chen]

I really don't get how this could possibly hurt him. $10 says you did something like that when you were a kid. And look at Clinton. Obama was 6 years old, young and care-free and pretended to shoot his friend in a game called "Cops and Robers". Cops and robbers tend to have guns. Clinton however, was older, more experienced and wiser than a 6 years old Obama and yet her imagination comes up with a Bosnia sniper-fire story. Now think about this, Obama was playing a game, Clinton was doing it for votes yet they both have violence in mind. Which sounds more appealing? I'll use an analogy. You're playing Halo 3 and you make shotgun noises as you blow Brutes to very small bits and pieces or..... You're forty-fifty something and your walking outside when you suddenly scream, "I'm under heavy fire! Save me! Its a sniper!"