Hillary Clinton loses late-night joke contest to Eliot by one hooker story

So, didja hear the dollar's fallen so low Eliot Spitzer's hookers are demanding payment in Euros? The governor's prostitution sex scandal with the now-famous Kristen is the most embarrassing thing to hit New York since the Knicks.

He got a late start in the year for sure, but the now-ex-governor of New York has already surged to the overall lead in late-night jokes. According to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, a non-partisan, non-humorous study place, Spitzer's extra-marital financial and sexual escapades vaulted him into the overall annual lead with 175 late-night jokes making fun of him.

But what is it about New York? That state's Sen. Hillary Clinton is right behind Eliot with 174 jokes about her so far this year. The much-described but non-existent Bosnian snipers have been a godsend to Jay Leno and Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien and Stephen Colbert and David Letterman to ....

fire jokes at her instead. We haven't exactly minded, either. See videos here.

In case you're keeping score, President Bush is third with 163 jokes on him, Sen. John McCain fourth with 140, Mitt Romney fifth with 123, Barack Obama sixth with 103, followed by two Arkansans, Bill Clinton with 59 and Mike Huckabee with 55,  and then that hilarious Cuban Fidel Castro at 51.  Tied for 10th with 41 are funnyman Roger Clemens and a laugh-riot named Ralph Nader.

What's really impressive is that Spitzer acquired all 175 of his jokes totally within the month of March -- and still got way more than the combined total of all the wannabe presidents plus the real one that month.

Letterman was the leading Spitzer-mocker with 78, twice as many as Leno's 39, who beat out Stewart (22), O'Brien (18) and Colbert (17).

Distance apparently makes the heart grow funnier. Leno's favorite target from Burbank was New Yorker Clinton with 64 jokes so far this year. Stewart skewered her 43 times. Letterman only 28 (most of them surely involving pantsuits), Colbert 25 and O'Brien 15.

According to Letterman, when reporters asked Spitzer how much he paid Kristen an hour, the governor's wife Silda interjected, "Believe me, he doesn't need an hour."

--Andrew Malcolm 

Comments

[dave]

why would anyone gloat over what they perceive to be anyone else's, or even their own shortcomings?
this seems very inappropriate to encourage anyone to reflect on their own actions, and to make adjustments
for their benefit, and that of all.
and why would letterman expect anyone to believe silda's purported contention which does not even mention what action she might have been referring to?
if we assume she was talking about making anyone happy - how long does that take? one second or a lifetime?
'what is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.'
- bertrand russell

[Gale Thompson]

Does anyone else see the facial resemblance between Spitzer and former Steelers coach Bill Cowher?

[mitch]

Has this Hypocrite nation forgotten what ELLIOT SPITZER has done for NY and the world, by exposing corrupt SOB CEO's, mutual fund thieves who were milking the poor guys, wall street bottom-top level crooks who were making sure to make an illegal buck on the side and making investors suffer while a few made millions. They ALL must be visiting prostitutes and having affairs and taking drugs but they have not been caught yet, because they are nobodies. They are not Harvard Grad Governors. Have the forgotten how Spitzer got rid of the gambino families’ organized crime grip on the garment district, trucking, etc. NY lost a GREAT MAN called ELLIOT SPTIZER...we will miss you sir. I applaud you and GOD BLESS YOU; hope to see you soon kicking the butts of all the people who are mocking you now. I don’t know one married guy who does not mess around on his wife, go to bachelor parties get drunk and mess around with the strippers, have affairs, watch porn and visit prostitutes. The hierocracy is not with you SIR, it is with the world. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, only wrong was not to allow these people to do to you what they are doing now. You are too smart to allow this to happen, that is the only thing bothering me ELLIOT, how did you allow the fed and irs and the other corrupt republicans to get you like this. GET THEM BACK with a vengeance not seen by this world. Make revenge your ultimate goal the likes not even seen by god. I salute you sir, this is not goodbye but only "Until We See You Again" BTW, I don’t think most people know you are worth 100's of millions of dollars more than 99.9% of the all the low life poor good for nothing new yorkers that are against you, more than those 75K/year fed and irs low life’s. More than those corrupt republicans. TAKE CARE...

[madison]

Some people make it way to easy for the late nighters, maybe they like getting made fun of.

[SimpleRep]

LOL...All is not lost however, the last time a famous and powerful Democrat was exposed of his infidelity, his wife became a senator and a presidential candidate.

Yep, and the last I heard, this wife who is now senator is busy writing her memoirs.

I had the honor of reading the draft. One chapter retold her greatest adventure during the 60's. The now famous Senator was traveling on a USO yacht, donated by the Peace Corps. Unfortunately, it was shipwrecked on a desert island on her way to visit the U.S. troops in Vietnam for a three hour tour. Gilligan, the Howells, Ginger and Mary-Ann were there to testify.

At least that is what I recollect. It was about 3 A.M you know? I also suffer from sleep deprivation.

Now that I think about it, perhaps it was the Skipper, the Professor and his girl Friday, during the early 70's!

Now I'm confused ! I know she was shipwrecked somewhere. Or was it Monica Lewinsky who was the ship and home-wrecker...Oh, I don't know. I'm as confused as the Democratic party.

Go figure..

[Andy Miller]

Eliot Spitzer was corrupt to the core. The Real story of his years as AG is one of trampling on peoples rights, selelctive prosecutions, extorting campaign contributions out of his targets, illegal leaks to the press and blackmailing compaines to give hign paying jobs to his freinds. He illegally financed his drives for public office with his gangster fathers money, lied about it under oath and then, Nixon-like, used the State Police to spy on his political opponents.

Roger Stone deserves a medal!