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One-third of married women say their pet is a better listener than their spouse, poll finds

Karen Manderbachs is seen surrounded by her dogs, from left to right, Buck, Bitsy, Kensey and Sammy at her home in Rocky Mount, N.C.

Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion.

A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. Eighteen percent of pet-owning married men said their pets are better listeners than their wives.

Christina Holmdahl, 40, talks all the time to her cat, two dogs or three horses -- about her husband, naturally.

"Whoever happens to be with me when I'm rambling," said Holmdahl, who's stationed with her husband at Ft. Stewart in Georgia. "A lot of times, I'm just venting about work or complaining about the husband."

She thinks everyone should have a pet to talk to like her horse, Whistle, who's been with her since she was 19.

"We all say things we don't mean when we are upset about stuff," she said. "When we have time to talk it out and rationalize it, we can think about it better and we can calm down and see both sides better."


It would be a toss-up whether Bill Rothschild would take a problem to his wife of 19 years or the animal he considers a pet -- a palm-sized crayfish named Cray Aiken. His daughter brought it home four years ago at the end of a second-grade science project.

Rothschild, 44, of Granite Springs, N.Y., considers Cray a better listener than his wife, "absolutely. She doesn't listen worth anything." He doesn't get much feedback from the crustacean, but it's been a different story over the years with family dogs and cats.

"You definitely feel much more comfortable sharing your problems with them," he said. "A little lick from a big dog can go a long way."

Overall, about one in 10 pet owners said they would talk their troubles over with their pets.

Crayfish2 The AP-Petside.com poll also found that most people believe their pets are stable and seldom struggle with depression. Just 5% of all pet owners said they had taken an animal to a veterinarian or pet psychologist because it seemed down in the dumps. Even fewer said they'd ever given antidepressants to a pet.

But they weren't opposed to the idea: 18% of those polled said they were at least somewhat likely to take a pet to a vet or pet psychologist if it was dejected.

When pets become the therapists, the dogs have it. Twenty-five percent of dog owners said their canines listened better than a spouse, while only 14% of cat owners chose the feline.

Ron Farber, 55, of Hoxie, Kan., said it's easier to talk to his dog Buddy than his wife because "the dog doesn't have an opinion."

"I think better out loud. He doesn't care what you say or do. He looks at you, pays attention, you walk through the problem in your mind and eventually, the answer comes. It's not as easy when other people are offering opinions," he said.

Farber would take Buddy to a vet if he needed help, but "I doubt there's a dog psychologist within 300 miles."

A pet psychologist is also called a veterinary behaviorist. Veterinarian Karen Sueda, whose office is at the VCA West Los Angeles Animal Hospital, is one of 50 certified by the American Veterinary Medical Assn.

Most of her canine patients have problems with aggression and anxiety, while her cats' biggest problem is failure to use a litter box, she said.

Shiba Karen Manderbachs, 38, has tried drugs for her dog Kensey, a Shiba Inu who is afraid of thunder. "She sits and full body-shakes. She tries to climb the walls, will hide behind the couch. She gets frantic."

But the first time, the pill didn't take effect in time. The next, "she was so out of it, I couldn't do it again."

Without thunder, Kensey is fine and listens with the other pets -- three dogs and a cat -- as Manderbachs talks.

The dogs seldom react, "but if I'm upset, if I cry, they will hover around and try, in their own way, to make it better," said the 38-year-old from Rocky Mount, N.C.

Sueda, the veterinary behaviorist, said she thinks everyone talks to their animals.

"Pets are great because they provide us with unconditional support. They never talk back, never give us the wrong opinion and they are always there for us," she said. "As much as we love our spouses or significant others, sometimes they are not there, sometimes they have their own thoughts about how we should deal with situations. And sometimes, especially when it's a husband or male significant other, they want to solve the problem rather than just listening to the problem."

The AP-Petside.com Poll was conducted April 7-12 and involved landline and cellphone interviews with 1,112 pet owners nationwide. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points.

-- Associated Press

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Top, Karen Manderbachs is seen surrounded by her dogs, from left, Buck, Bitsy, Kensey and Sammy -- at her home in Rocky Mount, N.C. Credit: Jim R. Bounds / Associated Press

Middle photos, Bill Rothschild looks at his crayfish, Cray Aiken,  at his home in Granite Springs, N.Y. Credit: Mike Rice / Associated Press

Bottom photo, Manderbachs with her dog Kensey. Credit: Jim R. Bounds / Associated Press

Comments () | Archives (14)

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Wow. These poor animals stuck listening to these humans who don't want to engage with another human who might actually talk back. Sad in so many ways.

The great thing about talking to your dog is they'll always keep a secret

It is the one's that believe the animals are speaking back, in thought, and giving advice through expressions and activities whom are very, very scary.

If you drive alone in your imported SUV with a dog on your lap or shop at South Coast with your pet in your purse I have one simple question: Why do you hate us humans so much?

only because the pet cannot say "stop the bitching" or go somewhere else....is this animal abuse?

Aldous Huxley explained it perfectly 60 years ago: "To his dog, every man is a Napoleon, hence the constant popularity of dogs..." If pets can make us feel like that and can't speak inadvisedly because they can't articulate words at all, why WOULDN'T they qualify as better sounding boards than any human?

My one comment "Is that all?". I would think it would be more along the lines of 60%. When pets can become more appreciative at having their needs met with gratitude every waking moment of the day, that is something more humans should strive. Animals (pets) love unconditionally, they don't hold grudges, they accept forgiveness even handedly and they will teach us attributes we fail to learn elsewhere. Who is the teacher and who is the student? God knew what He was doing when animals were created.

One third of married men say their pets talk much less than their wives.

Dogs don't understand what you are saying and only care that they are being paid attention to. As a husband of a woman who cant just have a simple conversation, I tune her out after two minutes. Ladies may I recommend that you get to the point AND don't follow a train of thought that takes you from point A to point C and D before going to B and MAYBE we will listen to what you have to say. I am not being sexist here. Woman , as a whole are much more verbal than men and men, as a whole, don't have the patience to listen to pointless, endless dribble about things we don't care about.

What a pile of BS! Of course dogs listen to you blabbering about nothing for an hour because THEY CAN"T TALK BACK and women want someone to just agree with everything they say no mater how irrational it is.

It makes sense when all wives want to do is have a one-way conversation without any feedback.

Recent research in neuroscience suggests that guys brains are wired differently and, to listen and not engage in give and take means a lack of interest.

The problem is that women want what guys cannot and would not do with a guy friend.

These women must be very controlling too.

That's very clever; I wonder what their pets would do if asked to call 911 because their owner was sick? Pets might be good listeners, but not good practical responders.

This is a complete joke.

It takes two to communicate.

I find many of those who state that others in
their social group or spouses are not "good listeners"
talk a lot and want the other person or persons
to agree with everything they say and not give any constructive feedback.

They are looking for complete agreement and submission by
the other party which causes people in the group or spouses
to "tune out" after hearing the same stuff over and over and over.

This people do not want conversation(which is a two way street
of give and take and compromise), they want to dominate
conversations and others and it is "all about their selfishness"
and "getting validation for everything they say" no matter how off the wall.

Go ahead and talk to your pets.
Hope they don't run away on you!

I have a good idea.

Stop talking to your pets and go to the gym 3-4 times per week.

It is better for your physical and mental health


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