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PETA wants to flavor tofu with George Clooney’s sweat?

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Things got sticky for George Clooney when PETA received a towel apparently used by the actor at a Washington, D.C., gym (a supporter sent it to the animal-rights group thinking they could sell it at auction).

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote Clooney a letter requesting his approval to turn sweat from the towel into flavoring for tofu. Newkirk, who referred to the group as ‘big fans’ of the actor, wrote:

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The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu (CloFu). We could do that and give the tofu away. Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu, but what interests us most is that we would attract many people who don’t try tofu because they worry that it would be bland or that they wouldn’t know how to cook it. ... The science is pretty straightforward. According to Dr. Kevin Keener of Purdue University, all animals -- including human beings -- have unique odor profiles. Dr. Harry Lawless of Cornell University reports that if you use a sample of human perspiration, it is ‘no different than making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy.’ Gas chromatography can be used to confirm stability of a stimulant matrix, in this case your sweat. There are trained panels of individuals with sensitive noses who can describe smells to a very precise degree. They could evaluate your sample and quantify the various odors in order to replicate them and use them to flavor batches of bean curd.

Writing on PETA’s blog, Liz Graffeo says ‘CloFu could make your taste buds and your heart melt. Of course, what’s even better is that after everyone gets a piece of George and realizes how delicious tofu truly is, diets will be revolutionized.’

Responding through a representative to the Washington Post, Clooney said simply, ‘As a mammal, I’m offended.’

Related:
PETA to protest Siegfried & Roy’s final show
PETA protests Westminster dog show (Klan hoods and all)
PETA’s Super Bowl commercial nixed by NBC

--Lindsay Barnett

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