Suicide outside Paula Abdul's house? Why did Paula Goodspeed die?

Tonight on "Inside Edition," you can visit the scene outside Paula Abdul’s home in Sherman Oaks, Calif., where a young fan may have committed suicide.

Paula Goodspeed was a self-described fan of the “American Idol” judge. There is no known reason why she would have committed suicide outside Abdul’s home, other than to be close at the end of her life to her apparent idol. Or to have her name forever linked with Abdul's.

Goodspeed’s body was found inside her car, which was decorated with a photo of Abdul hanging from the rear-view mirror. Her personalized license plate reads “ABL LV,” which has been said to stand for Abdul Love.

"Ms. Goodspeed's mother had gone to [the sheriff's department] to report her daughter missing and advised them that she might be suicidal," Los Angeles Police Capt. James Miller tells People. Officials "determined that Ms. Goodspeed may be up in the vicinity by Paula Abdul's house. Our officers discovered her vehicle parked on the street and found her inside. She was unresponsive to officers."

Authorities say her death may have been due to drug overdose, but tests still have to be performed.

Turns out Goodspeed auditioned for “American Idol” in 2005 and admitted a lifelong fascination with Abdul.

“I really like Paula Abdul a lot. She’s really cool. ... I’m like a really big fan and I make life-size drawings of Paula. I’ve been drawing ever since I was a little kid, and my first drawing was of Paula Abdul.” 

Goodspeed attended the Austin, Texas, tryouts wearing braces and dressed like a gypsy, a look said to be inspired by Abdul. “Definitely, I really think I’m a pop star. They call me fashion genius.”

Even “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell noticed Goodspeed’s resemblance to Abdul.

Cowell observed, “A similarity here ... more than just the name. ... I see it definitely.”

But the judges weren’t impressed with Goodspeed’s version of Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary.” Simon Cowell was downright rude, especially about her braces. As co-judge Randy Jackson said, "That was terrible. What was that?"

Afterward, Goodspeed vented in an expletive-filled post-audition interview. “I was pitchy on a couple of notes. Big ... deal. ... They send a lot to HW that can’t even really hold a note. It’s not over and I’m not gonna stop singing just cause you don’t like my voice.”

Frankly, we're surprised more kids haven't felt suicidal, suffered from depression or developed mental or emotional problems after an "Idol" audition. Those dudes' remarks are often pretty harsh!

What do you think? Was this just a matter of time or an isolated incident?

Comments

[katherine]

We don't know if more kids have felt suicidal after Idol auditions, but there have been many reports of suicides by people who have been former participants on Reality TV shows. Look up "suicide and reality tv" and you will find names and sad stories. Reality TV is abusive and our enjoyment of it says a lot about our culture. It's scary that we enjoy watching people be humiliated, berated for their dreams and to see their hopes dashed. Why is that entertainment?

[Tara]

Unfortunately, it was just a matter of time. If she were that distraught over any comments made, she probably would have done something drastic back in 2005. Poor baby...I pray for her family.

[liz]

Obviously you have to be a little mental or a jokester to audition on national television if you can't hold a note. I don't believe she was a jokester. Idol could've pushed her over the edge but it wasn't the cause. There are thousands of Idol rejects out there who are still alive. I'll keep her family in my prayers.

[kelley jean]

I think that although she didn't sing well, she seemed like an adorable character, a really nice girl. People need to stop being so damn mean and negative towards other people... this is what results from that! She meant no harm, and people tore her down so hard-core that she decided to leave the earth, it's terrible and sad :( Prayers for her family and friends ...

[Renee]

This is very sad. I watch American Idol, and must admit that we usually do laugh at some of the tryouts. I have always thought the terrible ones were staged - not serously trying out. I am ashamed that I have supported something that may have lead to a human death. Sometimes the remarks are brutal, and I have often been upset by judges comments. Perhaps something can be learned for the future.

[lisa]

I am so sorry for this poor women's family.
However I don't think anything that was said to her from Idol could possibly have anything to do with her death.
She obviously had serious mental health problems.
let's hope next time problems like hers can be caught by someone before she has a chance to do harm to herself.

[MOTT]

To be, or try to be, an artist you must be able to handle criticism and ridicule. You are baring your soul. This woman obviously had problems far beyond the Idol incident. To blame AI is ridiculous, like blaming McDonalds for making you fat. C'mon people, wake up. This is why this show, and others like it, are so popular, people love to watch other people fail.
My condolences to her family and my empathy for the pain she was obviously enduring in her life.

[Kristie]

I am terribly sorry that the judges are the harsh to people. She was a good character, very friendly. Her face showed it all when she walked into the room. She was glowing with excitement, yet she was also nervous.
Even though she wasn't amazing, she gave it her all and I personally give her major props for getting on national television and show the world who she is.
Prayers to her friends and family.
Forever the fashion genius. prayers for her.

[ultimatebandgirl]

I think a suicide from someone from american idol was a timebomb waiting to happen I know several people who were booted off idol and have unnormal obsessions with the show and with people related to the show. I am not surprised by this story at all I am very saddened by it. I believe I met that woman on five occasions.

[Reality Check]

If you cannot stand the heat.. keep out of the kitchen!! EVERYONE that goes on the show knows ahead of time how brutally honest the judges are. If you cannot take it.. do not appear before them. She took thee years to off herself. Idol did not push her over the edge... some people are just depressed and do it no matter what.

[Andy]

This was bound to happen sooner than later. These people are going for their dream, its not a joke to them. Simon Cowell is also a judge over here in the UK, in the X Factor. In the auditions, the judges can be very rude and offensive. From the UK to Paula's family you have my prayers and thoughts. Simon Cowell needs to rethink these types of shows, to prevent this from happening again. These shows puts regular people on to tv, and the judges attack their looks and size. Something needs to change and now!!.

[Hailey]

Maybe one day Simon will learn that his words hurt people. This is the reason I do not watch that show. I wonder if he thought it was funny that someone took their life over his statements.

[brookshanes]

She is dead. It is no one's fault, but there of course things our culture does to use people . Putting someone on TV on AI is to either show talent or extreme lack of talent. Those who really need some hard advice are drawn to the instant popularity of getting on TV. Then they're slammed on a personal level.

She is dead.

[BASS_ALE]

I feel so sad about this whole thing. But I don't think it has anything to do with Paula Abdul or American Idol, or reality T.V.

Contestants KNOW going in that they are possibly going to be ground to pieces. It's part of the fun (mean as it can seem) of being on Reality TV.

Paula Goodspeed clearly had severe depression. There is no doubt in my mind that, if one could speak with her parents, friends, and former teachers, they'd find that she had a long history of depression (and perhaps even psychiatric hospitalization).

One doesn't just up and commit suicide without some sort of mental illness in the mix (such as major depression or bipolar disorder, for example).

Before anyone goes around blaming "Idol", "Paula", "Simon" or "Reality TV", they need to seriously remember that suicidality is related to multiple factors (biological, psychological, and social).

Do I doubt that her obsession with Paula abdul, coupled with her rejection from Idol upset her greatly. No, I don't doubt it. Clearly she was a long time fan of Paula Abdul's. But her suicide is connected to far deeper issues than just a rejection on "Idol".

There's more to this, as I am certain her friends and family would confirm if we could talk to them. Paula Goodspeed was unstable well before the idol tryouts.

I want to say that Goodspeed was a beautiful girl, and she looked so cute in her pink outfit. I loved her spirit... and her smile.

Honestly, I think Paula Goodspeed wanted to be near her Idol (Paula Abdul) when she died... not to show the world ANYTHING, but to feel close to someone for whom she had deep affection. People are making it more than it is... saying that Paula Goodspeed wanted to make a statement. It's alot simpler than that. She simply wanted to be close to Paula Adul, and to die near Abdul, and she gained comfort from this.

Many people (mostly the media) are trashing IDOL and REALITY TV itself. When, quite frankly, they should be looking at the death of Paula Goodspeed as a lesson in understanding and recognizing the signs and symptoms of depression and suicidal behavior.

My condolences to Paula Goodspeed's friends and family. My heart goes out to them all.

[Georgette]

Paula used to come into my work really often and I knew her as well as anyone i suppose, she was just a lonely girl who I think wasnt prepared mentally for the reaction after that audition, she loved Paula abdul and I honestly dont think she did this on purpose.. i hope people would be less critical.. regardless of what people think, they are still here.. and she is not. she was a lovely sensitive person who i will miss very much. she will always be in my thoughts..

[MOMMA KNOWS]

To get to the final point of suicide; it has to be a multiple amount of problems and emotions. This girl may have had a lot to adjust to then just a rejection from an audition. True, people are cruel, but the difference is out emotional reaction to it and the support we get; if you are thatrlucky

[juju]

I think people need to disconnect with HW folks. Remember most of them are acrylic...very little of them have talent or depth..and they get paid to act...some are real entertainers but then they don't have time to be an american idol judge - they are too busy entertaining. People need to stay connected to what is real. Don't stop dreaming - just don't try and live someone elses dream.

[Gina]

I don't watch Idol because the music business is full of rejection for artists and the show just exploits the desperation that young singers feel. Whats interesting to me is Paula Abdul was chastised some time ago for not actually singing on one of her hits. She doesn't seem to have much if any musical talent and for her to be judging this competition is ludicrous. My prayers for Paula Goodspeed and her family.

[LO]

I blame a lot of this on the family and friends who continue to lie to their loved one because they don't have the "heart" to tell them the truth. I have an Autistic son who SWEARS he sounds just like Elvis when he sings..when frankly, he sounds horrible and nothing like Elvis. He will visit his dad and his dad will tell him how wonderful he sounds and how he should sing more often, and make a record, when really, my son's talent is art, not voice. It breaks my heart to hear my son restate what his dad tells him..my son believes it, and there is nothing true about it. ....it is EXACTLY like what we see on Idol over and over again. I refuse to lie to my kids. Will I tell them they sound awful? No, but I won't lie to them to make them feel better about a talent they don't naturally have with false hope and set them up for failure. Setting these people up for national TV embarrassment is the cruelest thing anyone can do. When you set people up so high that there is only down, you set them up for severe disappointment in life.

[Laura]

I don't understand why Simon had to be a total douche to this girl. That was ridiculous. I don't think this is what pushed her over the edge though; I mean, it was three years ago.

[Robert D]

Note to future Idol applicants: do not wear dental braces. And note to Simon Cowell: if you don’t like it, let’s see you show them how to do it.

[janet]

i feel really sad but she was very strong with the comments that was given to her by randy and simon. so sad so someone like that die. my heart is with her family

[grrrreat]

She would have done it one way or another. We can't keep linking old problems to new things. Ya dig?

[Vanessa]

Fly away baby... Sorry they broke your spirit your famous now, everyone will know who Paula Goodspeed was. R.I.P

[Stevie]

On the news they were saying that Paula Abdul has had multiple run ins with this girl and she was stalking Abdul. I don't think AI has anything to do with it I think it was a continued illness.