Was Nicole Kidman's life on Tom Cruise control?

Nicole Kidman has finally revealed what many have long suspected. She was "seen and not heard" during her almost decade-long marriage to Tom Cruise.

She tells Glamour magazine she felt suffocated and stifled during her high-profile Hollywood marriage to the mega-star: "I felt I became a star only by association. I didn't think [my early movies] were very good, which is why I would always cower in the background. I thought, I don't deserve to be here. We would go to the Oscars and I would think, I'm here to support him. I felt it was my job to put on a beautiful dress and to be seen and not heard."

Kidman and Cruise met on "Days of Thunder" when she was just 22. They next starred together in the dreadful "Far and Away" and later appeared in Stanley Kubrick's controversial "Eyes Wide Shut" before they split.

Her career took off later with "Moulin Rouge" and she got a 2003 best actress Oscar for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in "The Hours."

Her next movie, Baz Luhrmann's sweeping historical drama "Australia," is due out later this year and she's already on critics' Oscar nod short list.

Cruise, 46, a confirmed Scientologist, has also been accused of being controlling with his new wife, Katie Holmes, who is 17 years younger then the actor.

What do you think? Was Cruise controlling of Nicole? How about with Katie? Will Katie's career take off like Nicole's did?

Photo: Nicole Kidman was seen but not heard at Tom Cruise's "Mission Impossible" premiere in 2000. Credit: WireImage

Comments

[Charise]

I think it's kind of obvious that Cruise is a control freak and enjoys being with women he can control. Reading what Kidman has to say just validates the control he exerts over his most recent wife, Katie Holmes.

Katie is known to stand in the background quietly while Cruise signs autographs and even in recent interviews (in the past 3 years) sounds very controlled, unlike the way she sounded prior to her marriage. How could anyone forget her interviews when she was first with Cruise, where she couldn't say much more than "Tom is amazing" over and over with a "handler" by her side reminding her to say that. Her later interviews are no better. It's all about Cruise.

Personally, I think Cruise picks women he can control and when he feels he no longer can, he divorces them. When he was with Kidman, as long as she was onboard with Scientology, he remained with her. When she began saying she wasn't a Scientologist, the marriage was over.

Cruise may be a decent actor, but I'm not entirely sure he's a decent person.

[lisa]

he is definitely the controlling type of male, so any wife has to be receptive of this, or the marriage will fail.

[c]

Do the math: Is it a positive sign for a newlywed spouse to move out of the house, to the other side of the country, taking the child and leaving her husband behind? We've seen Katie take on so many different personas since she met Tom. I think she's still trying to figure things out and 'un-brainwash' herself.

[Emily]

I'm not a Cruise fan, but she never said that he was the one who made her feel that way. It sounds to me like she has some big time insecurity issues. And let's face it, she did become famous because of him. If it were so terrible why did she stay with him for 10 years & why was she so devastated when he divorced her?

Holmes is is New York because she doing a play. Why is Nicole always taking film roles half a world away from where Bella & Connor live? She was in Australia for a year.

[michelle]

You actually believe her BS? Don't you understand by now that when Nicole is promoting a new movie she has to dish some dirt on Tom? Sounds like she's just playing the victim card as usual.

[Judy]

I agree with Nicole Kidman's comments that her earlier movies weren't great and she is right she dosen't deserve to be there. In my opinion, her movies haven't improved since her association with Tom. This comment is totally unrelated to the subject, but does any one know why Nicole has the same hairstyle in all her movies?

[Eva]

I'm with Emily. It's the media who just loves to make it seem it's one way when it may very well be another. Elizabeth Snead, the person who wrote this, is one of these people. Ms. Kidman did not say Cruise did this to her. She said she did it to herself. Emily brings up some very good questions. But the bigger thing is not even Kidman. It's us. Those of us who take issue on a matter that really we don't know the details about. It's easy to talk and gossip about what we think. Have you ever had anyone gossip about you incessantly? No? Well then, you don't live on planet earth. The next time someone says something about you, whether it's true or not, you may want to consider whether you do the same sort of thing.

[Pete Dougherty]

It is the things which he surrounds himself with that are interesting about Tom Cruise: Women, men, cars, motorcycles; It's like a Barbie doll - No real character underneath besides what's invented.

None of us will ever know the "real" Thomas Mapother.

With Nicole Kidman - Cruise stifled her potential. Same as Katie Holmes. She had to behave a certain way when the cameras were rolling. It was "more smiling", "don't look down so much", "hold my hand", "be affectionate", etc, whenever there was a camera nearby.

We've seen it caught on video. He has to be in control to maintain his illusion, and really the illusion is more for him than it is for us.

[jd]

If you ask yourself "name your favourite Nicole Kidman movies", well I come up blank, but "favourite Tom Cruise movies" and there's The Firm, Collateral, Magnolia, A Few Good Men, Jerry Macguire, not to mention Tom Gun and so on. I don't like to put anyone down though. She just has a ways to go to match her fame with her skills in acting. She seems a bit wooden to me. She probably would have done better with Scientology than the other way around. Ironic.

[wyatte]

She's doing pretty well career wise and personal life wise. Has a great husband, Keith Urban -- and has a terrific little girl.

Oh but that's not gossip worthy or newsworthy.

So be it.
I wish her well. Her life turned out pretty good after connecting w/ Mr. Cruise even if that connection ended in divorce. She still came out 'smelling like a rose'.

[Mandy]

Favorite Nicole Kidman movies:

Margot at the Wedding (love Jack Black too)

The Golden Compass (awesome despite what opposition it was met with by the Church folks)

Moulin Rouge (one of my favorite movies)

Far and Away

Cold Mountain (5/5 stars but really really sad)

The hours (Oscar award for this one, has Cruise won one of those yet?)

To die for (crazy seductress)

The Others (a little scary)

She has TONS of great movies, and she can play a variety of types of characters. Which is nice.

Tom is a bit typecast. He always plays the cocky type guy and it has gotten a little old now.

[Victoria]

I live in Florida where Scientology is headquartered They are not a religion but a cult. Ask Lisa McPhersons family. She died because of their mind control. Katie's family should be very worried. Tom is a great actor, beautiful smile but contrary to his speech saying people can be a Christian and still a Scientologist is a lie. They do not believe in Jesus - they blashpheme JESUS CHRIST. Katie, I pray for you and precious Suri and every time I see you on TV, I am reminded of how you went from a loving Christian young lady on Dawson's Creek to some kind of trophy for Mr. Cruise who does not follow or honor the same God you grew up worshipping. I read about your strong faith and your parents may be blindsided by Mr. Cruise but hopefully they hold you and Suri up in prayer every day too.

[xtine]

I'm shocked by the anti-Nicole talk. She has kept quiet about her painful divorce for years.

It was Cruise who went out and about saying hurtful things like, "She knows what she did," cryptically to the media when he issued the surprise divorce papers which then brought on a miscarriage for Kidman. That's a tragedy.

I think that one action speaks volumes but if it's not enough then just look at how he behaved once he found Katie. It wasn't love, it was glee that he found someone who would do what he said, right down to the DNA test to make certain Suri was his before they married. Such love and trust!

And let's not forget Penelope Cruz. She herself said that when in her long relationship with cruise her career took a backseat and marriage was impossible because she would not let go of her Catholic heritage.

I used to like Cruise, but after his actions, words and behavior the past three-years, I have a hard time enjoying his films when I keep seeing the man behind the actor.

[Steve]

xtine,

you are a science fiction writer? I enjoy it!
Hahaha. Stupid

[john]

although tom and nicole were a beautiful couple and it was sad when it all ended...she's better of with keith. i hope katie and tom can keep a happy marriage. i think he's probably a great guy but he's a misguided man. i hope he finds a belief system that's healthy.

[SY]

Nicole's career blossomed after they broke up. She could finally take good roles. That much is obvious. I'm happy for her and Keith. And I agree Katie's parents should be worried. I would be if she were my daughter. Notice how Katie's roles have narrowed to almost nil since she's been with Cruise. Yikes!!

[Pieter U3]

There seems to be a lot of anti-Nicole vitriol going around lately. Hasn't she suffered enough with Tom? That torture would buy a lifetime of good karma in any religion surely. I like Nicole and I am bewildered she manages to keep her cool with so many chipping away at her. I hate to use jealousy as the reason - it's so easy to say that, but I have no other feasible explanation for it. Things must be a bit slow on Critic's Corner at the moment and those professional moaners have no other crap to keep them occupied. They should stick to hurting small animals and old people for kicks.

[Tish]

Definitely has the persona of a controlling husband. Even now look at every picture of Katie and Tom, There is much sadness in her eyes. She probably feels she has to stay with him or risk losing her children to him. He certainly puts on the nice boy facade to the public.

[Louise]

Yes I noticed that too in pictures of Katie. It is a shame too. If I were her I would definitely not let him control her. I would toughen up with him and draw the line!! I mean he even has her tetoxing...on a diet!! She does not need to lose weight and she should have kept her hair long.....I wonder if that was his brainy Idea. Scientology is nothing but a stupid mindless cult! She is a Catholic and should go back to being catholic. For katie...I say pray to Jesus and he will help you.