The blogosphere blowout over Liv Tyler's tummy

Simmer down, blogosphere. Seems that my critique this morning of Liv Tyler's ill-chosen blue silk dress, worn to last night's premiere of "The Incredible Hulk," has a few delicate Web souls all in a tizzy.

Jossip's headline reads "LAT Blogger Elizabeth Snead Among the Worst Things to Happen to the Internet, and Women, All Year." In the blog: "Now she's taking joy in calling Liv Tyler, who is in the middle of trying to save her marriage, fat." Oh, puhleeze. Actually what I wrote was that the dress was "one of the least flattering garments the lovely Liv has ever worn."

Anyway, who's blogging under a rock? Has Jossip never read the gals at Go Fug Yourself? Check out their critique. At least I called it a dress, not a pillowcase.

And I take umbrage at that headline.  "Internet and Women," indeed.  I like to think of myself as the worst thing to happen to the Internet, women, small innocent children and little defenseless puppies, all decade.

Actually, at today's "Hulk" junket at the Four Seasons, Liv told the Dish Rag that she had admired the blue satin dress in question when her designer pal Stella McCartney wore it to the Costume Institute Gala at the Met Musuem last month. She actually talked Stella into shortening the long gown into the thigh-grazing bubble you see here. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Left long, it would have been much more flattering and less likely to turn into what it became: an embarrassing crotch-crawler.

The gals at elasticwaist.com also got bent out of shape (no pun intended), by my advice to Liv and, indeed, to all women everywhere, saying that I called Livvie fat, which I didn't (please read my post again s-l-o-w-l-y).

Their blogger seemed to think that I should not advise women to do exactly what I do several times a day, and that's  remind myself to suck in my darn gut, hold my shoulders back and stand up straight.

My mother, who — annoyingly — really does know best, always told me holding in your stomach (these days they refer to in exercise classes as "strengthening your core," but I bet Jossip hasn't heard about this yet) is the key to good posture, prolonged good health and, as it turns out, a far more flattering red carpet fashion photo.

I stand by my advice.

Reporting by: Sal Morgan

Photo: Liv Tyler's dress (and her posture!) does her no justice in this photo taken on "The Incredible Hulk" carpet with Ed Norton. So stop shooting the messenger!
Berliner Studio

Comments

[marley]

Liv has gained too much weight - she thought the dress would cover it up, but it magnified it instead. It looks terrible, someone should've told her she looked awful.

[ebmo]

Well, the dress is not flattering, but Liv Tyler looks like a woman. Period. No, you did not actually come out and call her "fat" but the implication was pretty clear. I guess you are doing your job, which is to promote gossip, and to be critical of others.

It gets attention and it pays the bills so to speak, but yeah, you do sound like you despise women.