Backstage at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Imagine being invited to go backstage before tonight's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at the Kodak Theatre ballroom! Woo-hoo!

Imagine being backstage watching a dozen tall, skinny babes with funny accents, wearing nothing but short hot-pink silk robes and hot-pink flip-flops, getting their hair and makeup done!

Imagine getting really bored after about 10 minutes.

Truth be told, most of the models are rather plain without makeup and look incredibly young. But every one of them was happy to talk to the hordes of reporters and cameramen about their favorite Victoria's Secret bra, panty, slip, clothing and Very Sexy makeup, body gloss, lip gloss and eye shadow.

It was hard to understand some of the South American or European accents. But I could definitely make out two words: "Victoria's Secret." In fact, every other word out of their pretty mouths was VS promotional. It was like they were bait to get all the media to market Victoria's Secret.

After listening to a few of them talk about Victoria's Secret, I was starting to feel dirty. Used and dirty. Like a pathetic pawn in the beauty marketing game.

I hung out backstage for about 15 minutes. It had taken about 40 minutes to get an escort to take me inside the hallowed hall lined with makeup mirrors, tables loaded with VS makeup, a sofa resting area and a long food table, where mostly the hair and makeup folks were refueling.

I listened while Heidi Klum repeated endless short phrases in German that had been written down for her say into a camera. Suddenly, she blurted out one phrase in English: "Buy my album!"

"Does Heidi Klum have an album?" one reporter asked another. But hearing her talk at all was annoying to some print reporters who had been told that she couldn't speak to them because her throat was sore from talking.

Still, Heidi was game and posed for photographers in her hot-pink satin wrap and promised them, "I'll be back soon in something sexier!"

I watched the other, lesser-known models who were being tortured, primped and prodded and would metamorphose into the beautiful creatures that would walk the runway in a few hours.

I followed one tall, coltish blond as she headed for the food table.

This I had to see.

Holding a plate, she scanned the available dishes, passed by the rice and eyed the bread, somewhat mournfully. Finally, she selected two pieces of ham and some spinach leaves, which she took back to the makeup table and ate while a makeup artist finished lining her eyes. She looked rather sad. But I don't think I would have eaten much either, knowing I'd be onstage in strings and high heels in about five hours.

After a while, even the photographers were getting restless. "The only way this would have been worth it is if the models had all been wearing lingerie," muttered one photographer. "Yeah, and if they were all drunk," said another. "And playing Twister," added a third. "Covered with Wesson oil," groused a fourth.

And don't forget, they'd all have to be wearing Victoria's Secret Very Sexy makeup!

Photos by Elizabeth Snead

Comments

[gertie]

Must have been boring. Hope the finished show was worth the wait. AND then the girls could eat !