Matt Weinstock, March 31, 1961, Matt Weinstock

March 31, 1961: KNX radio personality Bob Crane is looking for a word that rhymes with orange, Matt Weinstock says. CONFIDENTIAL TO "MODERN MOTHER": Granted, your daughter CAN be trusted, but why place such temptations in the path of a healthy, lovely 18-year-old girl? She has no business on an overnight ski trip with her "steady"—unchaperoned.

Matt Weinstock, March 30, 1961

March 30, 1961: The Scottish Daily Express quotes Caltech seismologist Hugo Benioff (d. 1968) as saying that a devastating earthquake is set to hit Los Angeles.  The reporter apparently misquoted or distorted what Benioff said, according to Matt Weinstock, who adds: The old Caltech lullaby remains unchanged: "All we know about earthquakes is that the farther we are from the last one the closer we are to the next one."   CONFIDENTIAL TO WORRIED STUDENT: See a physician at once. Doctors have had a great deal of experience in situations such as these and can be trusted to respect confidences.

Matt Weinstock, March 29, 1961

 

March 29, 1961: Brendan Behan’s play “The Hostage” is opening in Los Angeles and Matt Weinstock has a few lines about the playwright …  The gagged-up menu at the Writers Guild awards dinner included "Great Impasta," "Aspartacus with Hollandaise Sauce," "Pie Alamo" and "Elmer Gan Tea."   DEAR ABBY: My son is only 17 but big for his age. He is running around with a woman who is far too old for him. She has given him money, bought him gifts and lets him drive her car. Is it any wonder he thinks she is wonderful? Lately he has been spending more time with her than at home. At first, he said she was only a friend, but now...

Matt Weinstock, March 28, 1961

March 28, 1961: Matt Weinstock has the story of a young fellow getting the best of a police officer who cited him for having a car that was too close to the ground.   DEAR FEELS: Marriage isn't -- and never was a 50-50 proposition. If a wife knows how to handle her husband it can be 90-10 in her favor. Also on the jump, a column by Al Capp on the Kennedy administration.

Matt Weinstock, March 27, 1961

March 27, 1961: Matt Weinstock has a story about a penniless drunk who gets a bottle from a liquor store in the era when credit cards were a novelty.    DEAR ABBY: I am married to a man who has a very ugly temper. The first time he hit me we had been married only three weeks and I was four months pregnant at the time. His father used to beat his mother up so bad she would land in the hospital. He has a brother who slaps his wife around too. Is this a sickness that runs in their family? I never thought I could put up with the beatings I have taken (and over absolutely nothing). I don't want to raise our three children in a fatherless home, but what is a wife supposed to do when she is afraid to open her mouth for fear she'll get her teeth knocked out?

Paul Coates and Matt Weinstock, March 25, 1961

 

March 25, 1961: There was a prisoner who had a wooden leg, but that was only the beginning of his problems, Matt Weinstock says. One of Paul Coates’ readers has some urgent information for Red Skelton about his lottery ticket! DEAR ABBY: Where we live, it is the custom for parents to give their children $5 for every A and $2 for every B on their report cards. I am 13 and got two A's and four Bs and I didn't get anything. Do you think that is fair?

Matt Weinstock, March 24, 1961

 

March 24, 1961: Matt Weinstock drives to Alhambra for the first time in a long while and wonders why he keeps seeing big green signs directing motorists to Bakersfield. CONFIDENTIAL TO "IN LOVE WITH THE BOSS": The wise tailor doesn't do the jig in the same room where he cuts the cloth. Don't mix business with pleasure.

Matt Weinstock, March 23, 1961

March 23, 1961: Matt Weinstock has an item on an animated billboard for Dristan showing a man’s sinus cavities. Is it TV movie villain Skip Homeier? CONFIDENTIAL TO MARCIE: Some folks, who can't add and subtract, quit school to get married and have no trouble multiplying.

Matt Weinstock, March 22, 1961

In the highly advanced future, people will still use file cabinets!

March 22, 1961: Are truck drivers really articulate? Matt Weinstock thinks one fellow is …  and a woman calling the Philharmonic for tickets doesn’t know much about music but she knows what she wants to hear: Roger and Wagner. CONFIDENTIAL TO "VERY MUCH AFRAID": There is nothing to fear. Had your friend been even slightly infectious, she would not have been discharged from the TB hospital. Therefore, it is far safer to associate with her than someone who has never had a chest X-ray ... and could be one of the estimated 100,000 Americans walking around with active TB and doesn't know it.

The Mirror, March 21, 1961

 

March 21, 1961: I’ve been on vacation, so I hurried down to the scanner in The Times’ library today and went through this week’s copies of the Mirror. Here’s the latest from Matt Weinstock, Paul Coates and Abby. Notice that the Mirror's front page has been resdesigned -- again. Our plucky little paper will be gone in January!

Paul Coates and Matt Weinstock, March 11, 1961

March 11, 1961: The unemployed man who turned in $240,000 that fell from a Brink’s armored car gets a job offer! An overturned propane trailer causes a five-hour jam on the Hollywood Freeway, Matt Weinstock says, back when such things were still a novelty.  Paul Coates interviews a woman whose husband was charged with abusing the couple’s young daughters after he inflicted second-degree burns by holding their hands over the flame on a gas stove. The girls’ crime? They “messed up” clothing in dresser drawers. DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "OFF MY SCHEDULE" should have been framed. Thanks, Abby, for having a kind paper shoulder for so many to cry on. Like "OFF MY SCHEDULE" I, too, had a young neighbor who would come to my home too often and stay too long. She had two little children and there were times when she kept me from my work. I became weary of her company. When she moved, she thanked me for my kindness in letting her come. She confessed she had been on the verge of becoming an alcoholic and when she felt she needed a drink she would come to my house instead. My only regret now is that I became weary at all.

Matt Weinstock, March 10, 1961

March 10, 1961: Matt Weinstock has an item on the novel “Red Alert” by Peter Bryant.  If the plot sounds familiar,   that’s because … well, I won’t spoil it. DEAR ABBY: From the day we married I gave my wife a very generous allowance, but she never saved a dime. She said she wasn't going to save her money for my next wife to spend. It took me 15 years to figure out an answer. Now I tell her that I am not going to save any money either -- let her next husband support her.