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Matt Weinstock, April 9, 1960

April 9, 2010 |  4:09 pm

April 9, 1960, Peanuts
April 9, 1960, Peanuts

Bed Burners Beware

Matt Weinstock

    Too often there are stories in the papers about persons who are badly, even fatally burned by falling asleep with a lighted cigarette.  Well, something has been done about them.

    An amendment to the fire code, Sec. 57.20.17B, which went into effect Dec. 31, 1959, provides that any person who through carelessness, negligence or any other means whatsoever set a fire to any bedding, furniture, rugs, curtains or drapes, and thereby endangers the safety of others and property, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor -- maximum penalty $500 fine or 180 days in jail.
    Get the picture?  A man who maybe was overtaken by the sandman after seven martinis falls asleep while smoking in a hotel room.  Not only is he likely to wake up on fire but there's a possibility he'll make the jug.

April 9, 1960, Abby

    It's a good law, but it has a slight flaw.  There's a chance that people who smoke while relaxing and wake up and smell smoke and find the mattress burning will find it expedient, knowing the law, to take it on the lam out of there, hot seat or not.
    Anyway, sleepy sofa smokers, you've been warned.
    A MAN I KNOW drove into a gas station in Sepulveda and the car was instantly surrounded by six attendants who furiously wiped the windows, looked under the hood and checked the tires.  His wife said, "They must be rehearsing for a TV commercial."
The selling pitch
Is soft or hard.
I don't know which
To disregard
The hard-sell roar
Is gurgling gab.
I think I'm more
A soft-cell crab.
    BIRD WATCHERS may be interested in a David and Goliath battle in Hazel Robertson's backyard on Highland Park.  A pair of blue jays which are nesting and, therefore, more arrogant than ever resented an intruding hummingbird and the male said, "Get out of here."  The hummingbird retorted, "I've got as much right here as you have."  Whereupon the jay went for his gun.  But he was too slow on the draw.  And what the needle billed hummer did to him.  Hazel says, was straight mayhem.
    ONLY IN HOLLYWOOD -- A man was selecting some reading matter at the newsstand at Las Palmas and Hollywood Blvd. when the horn sounded from a car parked across the street.  "Just a  minute," he called, "I'll be there."  Half a minute later the horn sounded again impatiently, this time.  "Okay, I'm coming!" the man shouted.  As he paid for his magazines and headed toward the car, newsman Bill Kiley looked up from Playboy, which was scanning and saw with amazement that there was no person in the car, only a dog which had been pressing the horn.
    THE constituency might as well brace itself.  Tonight at a  concert featuring singer Virginia Jaeger in Huntington Park High School auditorium the orchestra will play for the first time the "Frank G. Bonelli March," named for the supervisor.  Whither marcheth, no one has said.
    ALONG WITH their usual Fabulous 40, KFWB's playful disc jockeys have got out a Foolish 40 list of songs including "Tall Oak Tree" by Rin Tin Tin,  "The Things We Did Last Summer" by Finch & Tregoff, "I Swear" by Eva Marie Saint, "How Deep Is the Ocean" by Lloyd Bridges, "Eternally" by Bing Crosby, "Too much Tequila" by Mickey Rooney, and "Deep in the Heart of Texas" by Joe Louis.
    FOOTNOTES -- Jane Griffith, who works at the Community Chest office, reports her cat, which was bitten by a rat, is okay again.  The cat won the fight but was nipped in the jaw . . . The people at POP advise youngsters that Popsie, 3-year-old elephant , is allergic to peanuts and not to feed them to her.  Another tradition shattered.