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Matt Weinstock, April 5, 1960

April 5, 2010 |  4:05 pm



 April 5, 1960, Buck Rogers


Say, doesn’t that ray gun look familiar?


Han Solo Blaster


Looks like Han Solo is packing the same Mauser!

broomhandle_mauser

The Knife Turns


 Matt Weinstock
    The ides of April are only 10 days away and the squeals of those wrestling with their state income tax are pitiful indeed.  A single man, with no dependents, who made $800 less in 1959 than in 1958, was dumbfounded to discover he must pay the state about $140 more than last year.  His total payment will be around $375.
 
    Worse is the plight of an elderly woman whose only source of income is an old four-unit apartment house.  Of all her expenses, including maintenance, utilities and upkeep, the biggest is income tax.
 
    By the way, the deadline, April 15, falls on Good Friday, and a low-bracket secretary, who has to contribute $42 to the state by that date, wants to know, "What's good about it?"
 
::
 
    THIS BEING National Library Week, book men are expressing their elation at the resurgence of reading.  Why, it's almost as if people were turning off their TV sets, refusing to watch reruns the fourth time around.





April 5, 1960, Abby

    Perhaps no one has defined the joys of reading so well as Lawrence Clark Powell, UCLA librarian, in "A Passion for Books."  His first chapter, titled, "My Favorite Four-Letter Word: or, How I Feel About the B-K," has this passage:  "Read by sunlight, lamplight or, as Lincoln did, by firelight, the book is still the best way man has found to record and transmit his knowledge. Machines can do much for us in controlling the flood of 'firmed up but not finalized' near-print, off-print or un-print material, but machines cannot communicate."
 
::
 
    DUAL SPEAKERS
Total sound from all around
Is expensive
    stereophonically,
But total noise from two
    small boys
I get for nothing,
    chronically.
        SHELDON WHITE
 
::
 
   LIFE IS beautiful for Rozanne Reizes, 18, of Panorama City, a student of the classic guitar.  Not long ago Rozanne, who attends UC Berkley, learned that Andres Segovia, her idol, was to appear there.  She lingered outside the hall where he was practicing, hoping to see him.  Finally he emerged and went through his pockets, looking vainly for a dime to call a cab.  Rozanne offered him one and mentioned her admiration for him and her ambitions.  Impressed, he asked her to play for him the next day.  On hearing her he became so enthusiastic he awarded her a scholarship at his conservatory in Sienna, Italy.  She will leave in July.  Reporting the story, Herb Caen of the S.F. Chronicle said:  "Moral: Always carry a dime."
 
April 5, 1960, Abortion

    There's a man in Sun Valley who is almost as pleased as Rozanne.  He's Bob Bent, who taught her the technique Segovia admired.  Oddly enough, Bob is only a part-time guitar teacher.  He's an engineer at Lockheed.
 
::
 
    IT CAN NOW be stipulated that our spring-summer weather -- it's impossible to tell them apart -- has arrived.  People were saying, "I can't understand it -- I never burned before, I always tanned!"
 
::
 
    A COUPLE, dulled by a bad movie, went into a coffee shop around midnight and the man asked what kind of pie was left.  "Apple, banana cream and pumpkin," the waitress replied.  "Apkin," the man said absent-mindedly.  And you know what she brought him?  Apple.  Thought I was going to say banana cream, didn't you?
 
::
 
    AT RANDOM -- Overheard by Joe Hecht at an intellectual-type cocktail party:  "The way the cost of college education is going up, pretty soon a person will be able to make a profit by remaining ignorant" . . . Spring tragedy:  A widowed dove -- her husband was snatched by a cat -- has adopted Mary Louise Grey as a substitute and follows her all over the yard, whimpering mournfully . . . Picturesque language note:  A bartender named Frankie, griping about a stroke of misfortune that had nothing to do with horse racing, observed, "I got euchred in the stretch!" 

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