Matt Weinstock, April 4, 1960
The Stamp Age and Its Problems
It turns out that an idea projected here -- trading stamps redeemable for cash instead of premiums -- is already working fine at Tom Robertson's service station in Arcadia.
The customer receives one stamp for each gallon of gas he buys. The book holds 200 stamps and when filled is redeemable for $2 in cash or $2.25 in trade.
Tom figures that his cash stamps are worth about 50% more than the regular ones. A person must spend $120 for enough stamps to fill a book of regulars and the filled book has a value of approximately $3. The same $120 spent for gas and oil would fill two of his books, each worth $2.25.
Curiously enough, Tom also gives green, blue and frontier stamps and most people like them. As one customer explained, "I'm buying an electric blanket on the layaway installment plan -- I'm paying 1 cent a gallon of gas for it." He meant that if he took the cash (not legible) he'd blow it on high living and probably never get the treasured e.b.
IT WAS A HARD FIGHT but at last I have my status symbol to keep me warm. A letter from a book outfit states, "Within the next few days, a bonded representative of our company will consult with you for a few moments concerning an offer of special interest to qualified families in your community." Get that, you disparagers, qualified. All right, maybe it is addressed to "Dear Friend" and lacks the personal touch. But I can hardly wait to shake the hand of this bonded representative -- before telling him no.
SPRING IN L.A.
The sun is warm, the sky
Gone is the winter's fog,
And gentle breezes scent
With little whiffs of smog.
PHILOSOPHIC exchange between newsmen Gene Hackley and Bill Kiley, who ride this paper's all night prowl car, as the police radio reported a dead man on E 5th St.
"Well, another wino gone to the happy hunting ground."
"Yep, he's gone to see the big bartender in the sky."
SPEAKING OF which, Hank Osborne nominates a policeman on a downtown corner for a typographical merit badge for his compassionate handling of a drunk. As the officer waited for the Black Maria he propped the wobbly borracho against the building with one hand -- otherwise he would have fallen on his face. With the other hand he extracted a cigarette from a pack in his pocket and put it in the drunk's mouth. When he tried to light it the drunk was weaving so uncertainly he burned his hand. He finally made it with a second match and continued to help him.
The officer's badge number and location are deliberately omitted. Wouldn't want him walking a beat in Limbo, which is out near Chatsworth, for failing to maintain what Our Leader considers proper grimness.
A MAN who belongs to a labor union was confronted with one more problem the other day when he went to his psychoanalyst's office in Beverly Hills for another go at his mental blocks and hostilities. Pickets were marching in front of the medical building.
Should he refuse to enter and possibly face the necessity of switching couches in mid-childhood? After a moment's indecision he went in. He hopes the pickets will understand that some people who cross picket lines need to have their heads examined.
AT RANDOM -- Some one on some future quiz show doubtless will be asked to name the Oscar winners in the best actress category who appeared in comedy roles. They were Marie Dressler, 1930,31, Claudette Colbert, 1934, Loretta Young, 1947, Judy Holiday, 1950, and Audrey Hepburn, 1953. The matter is brought up because Doris Day could become the sixth tonight.