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Matt Weinstock, April 22, 1960

April 22, 2010 |  3:29 pm

April 22, 1960, Comics

The Vanished Bus


Matt Weinstock

    A fun-loving Hollywoodian is sweating out a nightmare, hoping it will go away.  The complication is that it wasn't a nightmare, it was real.
    He went to Tijuana and became so simpatico with the spirit of manana he overindulged or, as the boys put it, he got load-dead.  As he headed home a policeman stopped him and suggested diplomatically that he was in no condition to drive.  "Why don't you park your car and take the bus," he said.
    The idea appealed to our hero.  After all, why risk damaging his new car.  It didn't matter about an old, beat-up bus.  You see, in his exuberant state he took the officer literally.  He selected a bus out of a batch of 10 or 12 of them parked nearby and drove it all the way home.
   NEXT MORNING he awoke with a terrible hangover and a vague feeling that all was not well.  His suspicion was verified when he peeked down the street and saw the bus.

April 22, 1960, Abby

    After a period of remorseful indecision he phoned his boss that he was ill, took the train to San Diego and rode to the border.  He found his car parked where he'd left it and drove away unmolested.
    When he arrived home again he was astonished and relieved to find that the bus was gone.  Only thing he could figure was that someone had noted it didn't belong there, called authorities, who'd come and got it.
April 22, 1960, Suicide      Nothing has happened further but he's quivering with apprehension.  So, let those who drink, think.
    TWO YOUNG WOMEN, civilian parking checkers in a suburban city, were observed pushing a  car partially extended into a red-painted zone back into the marked parking space, where the meter registered "expired."  So, thanks to these good Samaritans, some lucky motorist paid only $1 for over-parking instead of $5.  It can happen.
                READING MATTER
The vendors of news are the shrewdest of men,
    They manage things, really, quite cleverly.
Until we can read of the Finch case again,
    At least we can read about Beverly.
                --RICHARD ARMOUR
    A RECENTLY divorced woman who is going steady with a gentleman overheard a fascinating exchange the other day between her son Chip, 9, and a neighborhood playmate, Mary, 8.
    "Does she like him?"  Mary asked.
    "I guess so,"  Chip replied.
    "Are they going to get married?"
    "I don't know -- but they're saving Blue Chip stamps together!"
    THERE ARE persons, mostly copyreaders and proofreaders, who look at type and see possibilities most persons don't.  This is to report that representatives of both crafts, after seeing the headline, "U.S. Rebukes Rhee," thought the Korean situation could have been expressed more succinctly with "Rhee Buked."