Matt Weinstock, Jan. 16, 1960
January 16, 2010 | 4:00 pm
Perils of Publicists
You will pardon Sgt. John Campbell, Air Force public information officer, if he does not bleed for Hollywood press agents who must fight their way through countless hardships such as Martinis and freeways to deliver their copy to the downtown papers.
John recently returned from two years as PIO at the Army Cold Weather and Mountain School at Ft. Greeley, Alaska, where soldiers are trained for survival against the elements. There temperatures of 50 degrees below zero and gusty 50-mile winds are not uncommon.
When he had a news story for the News-Miner in Fairbanks, 100 miles away, he usually tried to hitch a ride in a helicopter. Failing this, he drove. In bad weather the trip took four hours.
For short trips near the base, no, not a dog sled -- snow shoes. His feet haven't warmed up yet.
WHILE ROVING IN SOUTH GATE, APCD inspector Robert Perkins Sr. saw a plume of dense smoke emanating from a big plant. He checked it for three minutes, noting it had more than 40% opacity and thereby constituted a violation. (Inspectors are trained to read smoke to within 5% plus or minus.)
He went into the plant, sought out the engineer in charge of the boiler, described the violation and said, "I'll have to give you a citation; what is your name?"
"Perry Mason," the engineer replied. It was, too. Gave Bob quite a turn.
THE REAL BATTLE
Differences die in a hospital
Here all are one in the eyes
of the Lord.
Doctors and nurses toil both
day and night
To fight off the devil with
all their might.
--JOSEPH P. KRENGEL
EVIDENCE THAT childhood preferences in food may be changing appeared recently in a doctor's office. While preparing a series of allergy tests for Scott, 7, the nurse said brightly, "Well, let's hope you're not allergic to ice cream."
After a moment's thought the boy said, "I won't mind that so much, I just hope I'm not allergic to pizza."
A FORMER Clevelander now living in L.A. is very proud of the old home town. He sends along a clipping from the Cleveland Press of a few days ago containing a facsimile of this telegram: "Hon. Orval Faubus , Governor of Arkansas, Little Rock, Ark.: It will undoubtedly be of surpassing interest to you to learn that the Cleveland Board of Education has just elected a Negro, Ralph W. Findley, as president; that there are 800 colored teachers, assistant principals in our school system, and that Clevelanders obey the Constitution of the United States and the mandates of the Supreme Court. Alfred A. Benesch, member, Cleveland Board of Education."
SOME SAVANTS say heredity is everything, others contend environment is the big influence in people's lives. Marty Vanos is leaning painfully toward the latter theory since he overheard a man in a saloon in outer Gardena remark, "So what do you except from a dame like that?" Her mother drinks and her sister goes out with used car salesmen!" Marty happens to be a used car salesman.
FOOTNOTES -- As anticipated, the clientele went to work on variations of the phrase, "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain," using the word precipitation. Mrs. G.T.S. of Whittier: "The precipitation in the nation falls mainly on my vacation." Al Ball of Manhattan Beach: "The precipitation in the nation falls mainly on my indignation" . . . Two young men on a low-powered motor scooter on Pacific Coast Highway were holding a huge surfboard . . . A sign on a music studio on Fairfax near Santa Monica states the instructor is an "Exponent of Guilliard." Most exponents spell it Juilliard.