"Dear Sir:
"A
compulsion drives many imperfectly educated men, like the writer, to
put words on paper expounding theories and opinions that spring from
the bottomless well of their imagination; an imagination that is
renewed by contact with the works of literary giants and is similar to
the method used by Antaeus to renew his strength.
"A representative example of this compulsion follows:
"Parkey Sharkey
exists as the California counterpart of the British 'man who never
was,' although neither run much danger of being tagged with a Social
Security number.
"There is one significant difference between
these two illusions: the 'man who never was' played a vital role in a
desperate war, while Parkey Sharkey is the embodiment of his creator's
frustration, tinged with revulsion, which is the natural result when an
imaginative writer like you is forced into contact with the helpless,
the downtrodden and the foolish.
"In short, a sensitive person
must resort to such allegorical devices if he is to remain at all
objective on the job in the face of the ceaseless waves of human misery
beating against his desk...
"That's it. Or rather, it's only it until the next time the trigger is pulled by a remembrance, an article, a word. What do you think?" (signed) Harold Parrow, P.O. Box 42507, L.A. 42.
--
What should I think? You've just told me that my best friend in the whole world is only a hallucination.
::
"to Paul,
"I have two jobs now, when I get through cleaning up the Oasis bar, I deliver Chinese dinners for a Chinese resterant.
"The other night I asked the Chinese cook, what you got for supper???
"He
ran off a list of Chinese dinners which I had never heard of before. I
had never had a Chinese dinner before, Paul, so I said Chow Mein, without the chopsticks. I can't eat with them.
"Paul, my wife is driving me nuts.
"The
other day she walked a 82-year-old man home from a bar. He was drunk.
They were crossing the street at a signal when his pants fell off him,
and my wife had to pull his pants up for him in the middle of the
street." (signed) Parkey Sharkey, c/o Oasis Bar, Menlo Park.
-- Lies! Lies! Lies!