Matt Weinstock, Nov. 11, 1959
A Dog's Life
Several weeks ago Glen Shahan's miniature schnauzer, Henry, developed a cough. When it persisted, the veterinarian recommended that Henry's tonsils come out. This was done but poor Henry continued to wheeze, and the other day Glenn, ABC TV publicist, took him back to the vet for examination.
"There's nothing more I can do," the vet said. "The only thing now is to send him to Palm Springs for a week. That ought to clear it up."
"You're kidding," Glenn said.
"Oh no," was the reply, "you just put him on the bus and I'll arrange to have him met and picked up in a station wagon and he'll stay in a nice, sunny place."
Glenn said he'd never heard of such a thing.
"It's done all the time," the vet said.
And the other day, when someone came by and asked what he was doing, Glenn replied truthfully, "Oh, I'm packing my dog's clothes -- he's going to Palm Springs for a week!"
THERE'S confusion in the cat world, too. Kathy Mellon, 8, has a cat named Agamemnon, which sits beside her when she watches TV cartoons featuring fearless mice. The other day Aga flushed a mouse in the kitchen, panicked, and ran into the living room. Obviously Aga figured it belonged on the TV screen, nowhere else. It's also possible Aga has his tigerish instinct through watching TV. Happens to people, too.
When food prices make
I could starve with
As I die you'll hear my
I can't bear the cost
ALLEN A. ARTHUR'S mind has been whirling since reading in a medical column that some people become temporarily deaf or mentally dull or get -- easy now -- headaches from taking too much aspirin. It was the last line in the article that got him: "Do you know what most persons do when they have these symptoms? They take more aspirin."
Make mine hashish.
YOU KNOW those long silences that sometimes occur among even the most loquacious and erudite drinking gentlemen. Irrelevance champion of the moment is a newsman who turned to a friend after a moody stillness and said, "By the way, what do you think of the Civil War?"
A NOTICE to members of a local lodge announcing an upcoming gathering in Las Vegas states, "Think of it! Three days and two nights in a strip hotel, parties, fun in the sun, etc."
As if the uncapitalized s in "strip" weren't enough, there's the provocative abbreviation, "etc."
AROUND TOWN -- A middle-aged man crossing 6th and Hill Sts. toward Pershing Square had three bobby pins keeping his bushy brown beard from becoming unruly . . . That fuss in the Shrine foyer during the intermission of "Carmen" arose when the special officer told a woman who had strayed there with a cocktail that drinking was permitted only in the bar. She insisted on finishing it, so, the anvil chorus.
AT RANDOM -- After watching a TV space program pointing up Russia's moon picture, Brad O'Connor's daughter, 3, looked outside at the half moon and exclaimed, "Look, they even cut a piece out of it!" . . . Penciled scrawl on a brown paper bag: "I see where Mr. Nixon got his picture taken playing golf, too. I wish the President and Vice President would shoot a game of pool now and then. Three Cushion Mae" . . . Tom Lehrer , who quit teaching math at Harvard for a career as a music wit, explains, "I can always return to teaching for the fantastic salary of $3,000 a year." He appears tomorrow at Santa Monica Civic Auditorium . . . End of an era note: Henry Fukuba, attending the Farm Bureau Federation convention at the Statler Hilton, wanted some plain old shirt-staining ink for his fountain pen but there wasn't a drop in the joint. But plenty of ball-point pens.