Mash Notes and Comments(Press Release) "Although 40 foreign nations and 46 states in the Union will send candidates to the 1959 Miss Universe Beauty Pageant, to be held in Long Beach, Cal, July 16 to 26, lovelies from the Philippines, Ireland, Spain and Portugal will be absent.
"In the Philippines, a college coed already had won the national crown but was forced to withdraw from the international competition in Long Beach. her university and church pressured her, revealed Oscar Meinhardt, executive producer of the pageant.
"The objection: her wearing a bathing suit...
"Meinhardt said that similar incidents had arisen in the past history of the pageant, and admitted that even this year he hadn't been too certain at first that Miss Indonesia would show up.
"Seems that the London Times, Indonesia's leading newspaper, decided to blast the selection of a native beauty for Miss Universe competition.
"Said the Times editorially:
"'The very idea of a beauty being manhandled and ogled at should be taboo to us ... How can we glibly talk about sending an Indonesian girl to be stared at and measured in tight-fitting trunks before thousands of onlookers?" (signed) Sparky Saldana & Hank Levy, Publicity Directors, Miss Universe Pageant.
--All right. All right. If she doesn't want to wear just trunks, she can wear a whole bathing suit.
"This is a form letter, because my secretary is pregnant!..." (signed: J.A. Small, Publisher, Western Publications, P.O. Box 5008, Austin, Tex.
"Dear Mr. Coates,
"Dropping by the post office, I found a postcard from Parkey Arnold Sharkey, in which he gave me a message to pass along to you. He no longer wishes to contact you directly.
"I read the message he desires me to give you.
"He has got a tax refund through aid of Gov. Brown and again owns his automobile such as the thing is with need of repairs.
"He is no longer interested in the taxi business and now works as a custodian in a Menlo Park bar, and he brags about having eight brands of beer for guzzling when he has a hang-over.
"Well, I've given you the message, but if you both would behave as grown adults, he shouldn't have to use the devious method of writing to me to contact you.
"He should write to you directly again,
"Sir, why don't you patch up your differences with Parkey?" (signed) Memphis Harry Lee Ward, P.O. Box 1963, Hollywood.
--I've tried, Memphis. God knows I've tried.
(Press Release) "Philadelphia plans to embark on an advertising campaign to promote the sale of one of nature's finest ingredients -- water -- reveals Engineering Record, McGraw-Hill publication.
"The city's water supply is in such good shape that residents will probably be asked to take more baths." (signed) Publicity Dept., McGraw-Hill Publications, New York City.
--Don't ask 'em. Tell 'em!