Mash Notes and Comments
(Press Release) "With so many people planning June weddings, a man who has helped arrange over 15,000 weddings during his career, Robert D. Howard, Hotel Edison executive, has compiled a list of 10 tips.
"They include the most common errors made by prospective brides from his experience of dealing with them:
"1 - Don't attempt formal wedding ceremony without a rehearsal a few days before.
"2 - Don't try to hold reception between the hours of 4 and 7. The dress problem is too complex.
"3 - Don't send out RSVP invitations until six weeks before the wedding.
"4 - Don't have a member of the family propose a toast to the bride and groom until the waiters have served the cocktails or wine.
"5 - Don't serve hors d'oeuvres that are messy to the fingers.
"6 - Don't permit cocktail hour to be longer than one hour.
"7 - Don't plan a smorgasbord if you are entertaining more than 100 persons.
"8 - Don't attempt to seat a large party with place cards. Have a seating list.
"9 - Don't place the members of his family on one side of the room separated from your family on the opposite side.
"10 - Don't remain until the conclusion of the party -- quietly steal away."
(signed) Sy Preston, Public Relations, New York City.
-And then what?
"You are cordially invited to a 'Fiesta de Periodistas' (Press Party en ingles) to be held Tuesday, May 5, from 5:30 p.m. to ???? at the exotic new Caso Escobar, 13321 Moorpark in Sherman Oaks.
"This new Mexican restaurant is simply fabulous! You'll think you're in a tropical Aztec cave somewhere south of Acapulco!
"The gurgling water fountains, the bar, the jutting volcanic rock, the tropical Mexican raincoats, the fantastic pink and blue lights, the Bull Room with its painting of Lady Godiva (a female nude)..."
(signed) Vance Graham, 13321 Moorpark St., Sherman Oaks.
"Paul, now you've heard everything!
"For the first time, there's a perfume in an entire line of new women's shoe polish called Lady Esquire. There's a different scent for each type of shoe material. They each create a different mood for the wearer. There are five different scents.
"In the polish for fine suedes there is a floral composition of jasmine and lilac mindful of a sophisticated garden.
"An oak-moss aroma that imparts sylvan character reminiscent of the outdoors dominates the scent in the product for cork and buck footwear.
"The polish intended for the car of smooth leathers is fragrant with the scent of bergamot from Italy and bois rose from Brazil. The polish to spray patent leather smells of garden flowers and herbs. Then there's a French lavender scent for delicate shoe fabrics.
"Under separate cover we are sending you a sample of Lady Esquire for your wife, and we bet this is the first time that anyone has ever sent you perfumed shoe polish for your spouse!"
(signed) Carl Erbe Associates, New York.
--Give her that, and the next thing you know she'll want shoes.