Paul Coates -- Confidential File, April 4, 1959
April 4, 2009 | 2:00 pm
Mash Notes and Comments
"I spent most of my early life in the saddle in West Texas and New Mexico. In 27 years I'll be 100, but I am still just a kid.
"I wonder if you know the egg-shell trick, or mystery. That you can't break an egg shell by holding it in your hands in a certain position and squeezing it. It is supposed to resist 400 pounds of pressure.
"You can squeeze until you are blue in the face or blister your hands.
"There has been a lot of money lost on that trick.
"Anyone who didn't know it, would stake a fortune on the fact that he could break it.
"There is another trick, Paul, which I would like to explain to you ..."
(signed) G.E. Chaplin
1430 Mt. Pleasant St., L.A.
--Wait till I wipe the egg off my hands.
"I am 67 and have lots of hair on my head.
"The average social lion has hair on his upper lip.
"The backwoods bears have hair on their backs.
"The rain water washes the bears' backs, which goes to prove that rain water is the best hair washer.
"You never saw a bald-headed Indian when Columbus discovered America. As proof that rain water never did harm to anyone's hair, ask any of the direct descendants of Noah.
"Noah kept on preaching to the two-footed animals to watch out for the abundant rain that was to fall.
"But they just laughed at Noah and kept right on washing their hair with chlorinated fire hydrant water!"
(signed) Leo F. Quinn, P.O. Box 385, L.A.
--They could afford to laugh. Noah didn't even know there were fire hydrants.
"I have some REAL news for you!
"I have written the world's first 'Organic Food song' in collaboration with Dr. Albert Denis Tessier, who composed the chorus and arranged the music. He has a distinguished European background as a concert pianist, to mention but one of his artistic talents.
"He also teaches music, Latin and Spanish.
"The 'Organic Food Song' (copyright 1959) is a musical salute to organic food fans and is attracting favorable comment from all sides.
"Has a foot-tapping, hand-clapping chorus ideal for group singing, or for barbershop quartettes.
"What do you say we bring in the tape recording of the 'Organic Food Song' (copyright 1959) so that you and your staff can join in a rousing chorus for organic living?"
(signed) Hazzie Goodell, L.A.