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Matt Weinstock -- April 3, 1959

April 3, 2009 | 12:00 pm

Righting of the Left

Matt_weinstockdNot long ago a New York bank announced it had made left-handed checks available to southpaw patrons.

Now Mattell, Inc., the firm on W. 102nd Street which makes toy guns, has come out with a left-handed holster.

Clearly, what we have here is a trend. The way things are going, left-handers, who constitute about 10% of the nation's population, will no longer find themselves frustrated outcasts in a right-handed world.

At least lefties stalking along Dry Gulch Blvd. for the shootdown will have an even break on the draw with right-handed skulkers.

Oh, I tell you, significance is everywhere.



THE DOORBELL rang at a nice home in Brentwood and the lady at the door announced, "I'm the assessor."

A pained expression came over the housewife's face and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, we haven't even paid the taxes we've got!"

You listening, supervisors? Maybe it's a quiet revolt, but it's a revolt.


first book report, Steven Kruschen, 7, an A-2 at 3rd Street school, chose the child's version of "Noah's Ark" by Tony Palazzo.

One question on the printed sheet asked, "Who was your favorite character?" Steve wrote, "God."

Next question, "Why?" "Because," Steve wrote, he thought the whole thing up."



'Twas the morn after Easter
And all through the news
The headliners were shouting
"Us guys can lick youse."


of literary coincidences -- use of similar names or situations by fiction writers unknown to each other -- recalled an experience Harold Bell Wright once told Al Ball of Manhattan Beach.

Shortly after Wright's book "When a Man's a Man" was published, a stranger called on him, identified himself as a college professor, and said he had written a play three years before titled "When a Man's a Man." Furthermore, his principal character was Rags -- Wright's was Patches. In addition, he said there were 80 identical situation in the two stories.

Wright could only express amazement.

"How did you do it, Wright?" the stranger went on. "My manuscript has been locked in a safe for three years. No one ever read it but me. It isn't possible."

He wasn't angry, only baffled. So was Wright.


Louise was discussing instant coffee with a friend who had never used it and suggested she try Decaf. "Where do I get Decaf?" the woman asked. "Fromde cow and de bull," responded Louise, a lady of impulse, subject to such whims. Besides, it was a hot day.


for Reducing Everything to a Pat, Provocative Phrase will come to order. This remark was heard in the city room: "Can't you see Susan Hayward playing the part of Mrs. Duncan?"


TEN YEARS AGO Pepper Blethen, 9, unaccountably stumbled and fell while running with playmates in Gardena. When it happened again a doctor diagnosed his ailment as progressive muscular dystrophy. He was given only a short time to live.

But life was pleasant to Pepper, even when he was forced to take to a wheelchair and then bed. He was helpless for years and slowly wasted away. But he remained cheerful, buoyed up by his devoted family and well-wishers.

On Tuesday at the age of 19, he died, long beyond the time doctors gave him to live. A funeral Mass was held today at St Antony's Church and his mother thanks all those who have sent him messages of good cheer.