No Martians -- YetAll right, relax, everyone. You too, Mary Louise. Those cryptic numerals and markings on streets and sidewalks were not made by slithering invaders from another planet plotting our destruction.
Perhaps you too have seen them. Some are long, yellow-painted arrows on streets with mysterious numbers and letters plus signs on them. A logical interpretation of the uninformed is that the houses to which they point are in for it, when the little green men take over.
Then there are the white markings on sidewalks, usually at corners. Things like 3 AB 3:00 followed by 3 A 2:40 and so on in a lessening scale as are visible near Audubon Junior High and 37th Street Elementary School
WELL, they're simply designations for proposed work on sewers, storm drains, gas, water and power lines. Some are survey markings by the city engineering department for upcoming street resurfacing. It seems there's more to it than burning off the top, dumping a load of macadam and letting a mechanical roller smooth it out. First there has to be what is known as a profile survey designating the existing elevations.
EITHER SOMEONE lowered the chinning crossbar on a Beverly Hills school playground or Bill Ritzi, deputy D.A., was riding too tall in the saddle. Anyway, he crashed into it while riding his English bicycle and suffered a broken nose, a bad gash on the forehead and some loosened teeth.
His doctor, stitching his face, asked what happened.
"I wrote my bicycle into a bar," Bill answered.
"I don't smell liquor on your breath," the doc said.
So Bill, who doesn't drink, explained.
We always celebrate Easter twice,
The first time, of course, on Sunday.
The second time we hunt for eggs
Is after we tally up on Monday.
--JUNE ROSS DRUMMOND
The familiar names in creative jazz are Ellington, Kenton, Basie. More recent ones are Brubeck, Hamilton, Shearing, Hefti, Rugolo and the Mulligan-Baker groups -- again to tap the surface. Not long ago there was Gil Evans' LP "New Bottle, Old Wine." The other night I heard "Miles Ahead" with Miles Davis, also arranged by Gil Evans, and went ecstatic over numbers titled "Maids of Cadiz" "Lament" and "The Duke."
Ask your favorite disc jockey to play them. Maybe he won't, but ask him anyway. They're great.
IT IS a well-established fact that those who live by the telephone shall die by the telephone, so to speak, which is a prelude to an exchange between a lady named Harriett and her husband on his return home from the office.
"What kind of day did you have?" she asked.
"The phone murdered me all day," he said. "I had four He's-away-from-his-desk-for-a-few-minutes and three He-just-stepped-outs."
FOOTNOTES -- Penciled scrawl on a piece of brown paper bag: "Whose picture you using now? One day the guy smirks over his left shoulder, the next day he smirks over his right shoulder. When you going to let him smirk down the middle? Why don't you use your own picture? The one you took the day you had the terrible toothache? Three Cushion Mac." You can't win them all ... Isn't it awful about the terrible weather the Vero Beach Dodgers are having down there? ... All anyone can say is what the others are saying, that George Stevens' "Diary of Anne Frank" is a magnificent accomplishment, combining devastating impact with restraint. Incidentally, a woman who lived through a similar ordeal had nightmares after seeing it.